arsynicWriter

Cracking, cracking, cracked.

I’m holding myself together with used scotch tape, the sticky side gone.

When that fails, I use glue-sticks.

Not the Elmer’s glue-sticks, the cheap dollar store ones that can’t hold two pieces of paper together for longer than five seconds.

It never works, but I can’t let myself break.

It’s temporary, the pain of it all, but it slices through me so fast, so simply, leaving me empty and bleeding.

It’s temporary, but the scars of it will last me a lifetime, never fading, a permanent reminder of my mistakes.

It’s temporary, theres no cure for it. Only time, and time doesn’t move fast enough for the temporary to only be temporary.

It’s not temporary.

It’s going to forever be a permanent part of me.

I’m holding on by a thread, and I’m about to cut the thread

I am about to overflow

It just keeps rising

I can’t handle it

But I can’t let them see negative emotion because they’ll leave me

And I’ll be all alone again

I can’t be alone again

I don’t understand. You once held my heart in your palm, did you forget where you put it? Did you not want to take care if it? Was it too much?

I don’t understand. Maybe I was too much for you. Or maybe not enough, maybe i shouldve been better. A better person, a better lover, a better partner.

I don’t understand. You left your words unspoken, you left your promises broken, you left me feeling like no one. Your reassurances mean nothing now.

I spent days and nights crying, wondering what I did wrong, because you always said I was in the wrong. You blamed me.

It was never me.

“Don’t tell people what’s going on”

“It’s your fault”

“You never change”

I would apologize time and time again and try to communicate and you would turn it back against me.

I got attached to the idea of us and held quick. Other people made me angry, they weren't you. I wanted to spend all my time with you, you were my everything and yet you weren't mine. You weren't ever mine. There was never a real us, us was just a fictional scenario in my mind. The urge to cut you out of my life to heal myself was overwhelmingly strong, but I wanted even more to cling to what I do have of you and I know I'm only hurting myself by keeping you near. That's what you wanted though, to be friends and as much as I want to remove you, I can't lose you and I hate being like this, but

I

Don't

Hate

I have no reason any more to look forward to seeing your face, even if it used to make me happy.

I have no reason anymore to uproot my life for you even if I would have been more than willing less than 24 hours ago.

I have no reason anymore to let you live freely in my brain, even if you just ran freely with no consequences.

And I hate it because I still do.

Stop running freely, and making me look forward to our next interaction and letting me love you.

You don't love me, and I shouldn't love you.

Hours turn into days that turn into weeks that turn into months that turn into years that turn into ages and even if it's just a week in real life, it feels like ages since I've last seen your face.

And your face, it's so beautiful. It lives freely in my brain, bringing smiles to my face randomly. It seems like all you've done lately has been making me smile, making me wish I were with you, and those hours and days and weeks and years and ages don't exist when I see your face and all I feel is

How dare you.

How dare you run freely through my mind with no intent of stopping or leaving.

How dare your face and your name bring such a stupid smile to my face and an embarrassing warmth to my cheeks.

How dare you inject yourself into every cute scenario I see or hear, wishing it were us two who could've been the ones who were dancing in the rain, or watching a movie while snuggling together on the sofa.

How dare you bring a sense of protection making me feel safe to be myself with you and be open with you.

How dare you fill me with hope, give me a future to wish for, a family to want, a life to look forward to.

How dare you make me want to take care of myself, just so I can see you smile and tell me you're proud of me.

How dare you make me want to shower you with gifts, not so you will feel indebted to me but so you know that I care about you.

I cant add a break, I'm on mobile, someone help- anyways, there are prompts containing smut and abuse after the possessive ones, you dont have to read it if you don't want. Also, send in a number and I'll write a short drabble, les go.

Fluffy

"Aww, you've got a milk mustache"

"Did you cut your hair? It's so fluffy and cute!"

"Can you help me with this? I keep messing up"

"You should sing the other person's part, this is a duet after all"

"Why do you wear such big clothes, it's too adorable, you possess too much power"

"Ya know what? You're a pillow now"

"If you don't wake up I'll start tickling"

"We should go look at stars!"

"Were you always so cute?"

"You have ice cream on your nose"

Angsty

"You said you would stay safe! Getting shot isn't staying safe!"

"You weren't supposed to hurt (him/her/them)! Just me! I deserved it more!"

"Why is it so hard for you to love yourself?"

"Please, taking this will help you, I promise" || "You never keep promises"

"No, no no no, you can't die yet!"

"I still need you! Don't walk away, please!"

"(He's/she's/they're/etc) a traitor. A liar. A cheater. Obviously this never meant anything to (him/her/them/etc)."

"Why did you leave..? Why did you leave?! Answer me, dammit!"

"What's wrong with me..?"

"When the sun comes up, we won't have any memories of each other. Say what you want now"

Crackhead energy

"Dude why the fuck are you covered in cake"

"No, hey, get off the table!"

"Wanna see how many fruit snacks in my mouth?"

"Wait, stay like that, I'm gonna make you into a meme"

"Do you think I can do a backflip off the bed?"

"Splash me with water again and I'll get the water guns!"

"Each time you say my name I think 'Oh god not (him/her/them/etc) again.'"

"Babe, you remind me of candy. You're always so sticky"

"Ew, no, don't kiss me! You're covered in paint!"

"I love you but please, stop pouring glue all over my hand."

Scary

"You heard that, right?"

"It's too dark, we can't go in!"

"There's something big here, we need to go!"

"I don't like this..."

"Stop it, it's gonna hear us!"

"Can you please be quieter, I don't want to wake...whatever it is."

"I thought those batteries were new, they're already dead?"

"If you're over there, what's holding my hand?"

"Did you see that?!"

"That thing is going to kill us!"

Comfort

"Hey, hey, shhh. It's okay now."

"Look, we're safe, okay?"

"I know it hurts, but I'm trying to be gentle"

"Did you have a nightmare? Come here.."

"Shh, shh, no more crying.."

"Do you wanna talk about why you're sad?"

"Don't worry any more, I've got you."

"Look, see? Just a small scratch."

"I think you're (beautiful/handsome/etc)"

"I still love you, okay?"

Whump

"Nobody is going to save you."

"Don't even think about trying to escape!"

"You're crying? Seriously? Pathetic."

"You really think (he's/she's/they're/etc.) going to save you?"

"You're trapped. Stop trying to escape."

"Look, the more noise you make, the more I'm going to hurt you."

"If you don't start listening, I'm going to hurt (him/her/them/etc)!"

"You're so gullible, thinking I'd let you go!"

"For that, don't even think about food today."

"By hurting them, I'm hurting you. It's a win win!"

I can certainly try, if I'm reading it right, you want a caretaker that is the parent of the whumpee? If it is, that's what I'm writing, if not, then, oops, am dummy.

---------

They always said they knew everything about their child, and they did. At least until when they disappeared. But this was to be expected, and Whumpee would always be welcome back with open arms. They often went to stay at their friend's house for a day or two and forgot to mention it.

But this had been weeks, and their friend's parents hadn't seen Whumpee. Weeks. Caretaker was getting worried, but, they knew their child. Whumpee would come back on their own. And they did! Just, different from when they left.

Much different. They were bruised and burnt and scarred and silent. They cried when they usually didn't, never slept through the night, and wouldn't eat until caretaker took a bite of their food to show..something. They weren't sure. Caretaker watched the shaking shell of their child, trying to figure out what happened in those weeks. And while Whumpee usually told everything to Caretaker, whenever they asked, Whumpee would break all over again and any progress made towards Whumpee trusting their parent again would be gone, and Caretaker would have to start all over again.

------------

Hopefully this was okay?

"It's not like it matters, not if you don't love me!"

"Why do you even care about whether or not I jump?"

"I didn't know! It wasn't my fault!"

"Why can't you just hate me..?"

"I'm going home, and getting as drunk as fucking possible in hopes to be able to forget you."

"Where are you going?" // "Hopefully to get drunk enough to slip into a coma."

"Get away from me!"

"Stop pretending to care! I know you don't!"

"Liar."

"It isn't MY fault that I care too much!"

"Yes, I am aware that I'm a gullible idiot."

"Go back to your (ex-partner's name)."

"I'm sorry that I'm not good enough! I'm trying, okay?!"

"I just want to make you happy. And I can do that when I'm gone, right?"

"Stop caring!"

"All you are is a fucking liar. You didn't care about me then, why does it change now?"

B: Why..?

A: Because my partner is cuter than yours [leaves]

B: ...

A: Fine! I don't care, just take what's yours and get out of here!

B: Fine, I will!

B: [picks up A]

B: [Leaves]