She was way too young to understand what was going on. She looked mature for you and all she wished for a life where she was less "lonely". It felt like a curse that held her back so softly she was eager to often just wrap herself in his lovely hands. It was so incredibly dark there and she was scared for scaring others. But there was a freedom that came down with loneliness. The freedom to be "Her". She often said to people "It's strange. I felt less lonely when I didn't know you." Now she could survive none of herself anymore. She begged people to stay and to love her. She felt happy with herself for a long time. They came along and she felt more and saw a different future. But some pieces of her were missing that she couldn't keep people. It felt like begging. The begging to be loved. They all screamed at her "People with good heart never win". And she still believes that it's because people with a good heart aren't in to win. And if I decide to not choose myself, I will disappoint all the versions of her that tried to keep me alive.
