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PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD!!! I am always hungry for more!!!

A mixture of my own fics, and fics I love, for anyone after some good parent Hope and Lyall content <3

Remus Centric/Background Hope & Lyall

Under The Willow - burnercell10

Oneshot, 4.8k, No rating. Poppy gets her new, extra special student with an introduction from his overly-protective dad <3

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Like Real People Do - third_crow and Oh, Mama, Don't Fuss Over Me

(36k, complete, T.) and (18k, T) Mainly a wolfstar fic - muggle AU, but has some lovely Hope in it <3 A different from canon take of complex illness kid and their pulling through it parent <3 (Lyall is um... not stepping up in this, I'll warn!!). Same universe, fic and it's side-plate!! Remus has brain damage w/ resulting epilepsy, in this.

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The Archive of a Full-Time Grocery Stocker - VerminWorship

WIP, 126k words, E. Remus centric - he's hard of hearing (and slowing going completely deaf) living veeeerryyyy close to the breadline and on the edge of his own life, basically. Wolfstar, with some lovely illustrations. But, LYALL IN THIS FIC - a brilliant well meaning, misplaced, problematic but essentially loves his son, even if he fails to respect him to the point of pushing him away kind of Lyall. He breaks my heart, but I love him.

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Penance - RoseLeviosa

This whole series (five books and some side-stories) 673k words, WIP, E. Canon-divergent/what if - Remus survives the Battle of Hogwarts. Look, these fics are brilliant (and bleak) and I have a lot of good things to say about them, but focusing on good parent Lupins; Hope is dead (but does haunt the narrative from time to time). Lyall is... Lyall is.... LORD okay. He is a good man. He is SO problematic and realistic and complicated and comes through in a major way sometimes, and flops so severely in others - he has sheep!!! and a nosy neighbour!! and a TV and a computer and is friends with Arthur Weasley!! and adores his grandson and is just an absolute problematic king in this. Also I feel he's kinda the secondary character, 70% of the time.

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Beneath a Big Blue Sky - eyra

68k, complete, E. You've probably read this, but if not, you should have, it's brilliantly written. Wolfstar meet-ugly muggle AU where Remus is a farmer's son from Yorkshire. Lives with Lyall and Hope and oh they are so sweet and lovely <3 Adore Lyall and James in particular, in this. Lyall is very gruff but kind and Remus is quite rough-round-the-edges but soft at heart. It's lush. Romance/humour/slice of life

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At the Very Least - AraHannan

Poppy meets her new time-consuming patient/student. Their first year together. 79k, complete, T. Lyall and Hope are in the background in this, mostly seen through letters back and forth from Poppy, but do make some in-person appearances. Even still, their dynamic with each other, and with Remus, is a big part of the fic. Essentially set up like "outsider looking in to this family's dynamic"

Lupin Family Centric

Inevitable - 1969 - Chapter 1 - BeckettSimpleton

My own fic - WIP currently at 34k words 14 chapters (rated T) about the secrets and lies Hope and Lyall have maintained since the bite coming back to bite them in the arse. Slice of life/family drama

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Sharp-tongued - burnercell10

WIP, currently 83.5k words and 30 chapters, rated M. The Lupins are the victim of a blood-purist terror attack, meanwhile werewolf policy is getting stricter and they are forced to take shelter at the Potters in the same Summer that Sirius runs away from home. So many great character combos. Hope + Sirius, Hope + Euphemia, Lyall + Fleamont UGH it's SO good. Also background gay panic from Sirius and lots of great Ministry politics with Lyall.

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Moon-kissed - Chapter 1 - burnercell10 - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

Oneshot, 6.8k, no rating. It's a "the bite" fic, but with a focus on Lyall's post at the Ministry and his interactions with Greyback and the political situation at the time. Also has Greyback POV which has some very cool insight into his intentions and how Lyall's actions influenced his behaviour. politics/angst/family

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The Field Trip - 1969 - Chapter 1 - BeckettSimpleton

My fic, complete 10k words - Lyall and Remus face their (shared and different) fears when Lyall brings Remus along to a work trip to wrangle some boggarts. Fluff/hurt/comfort

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All Month Long - 1968 - BeckettSimpleton

My own fic, oneshot at 2.6k words rated G - Basically bring your son to work day fluff - Remus goes with Lyall to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Dangerous Creatures. Family/fluff

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Dumbledore's visit - burnercell10

What it says on the tin - oneshot, 3k words, G. Lyall is wearing a Tokyo Olympics tshirt in this fic and I haven't gone more than three days without thinking about it since haha! family/slice of life

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But For The Grace of God - 1965

Another one of my own fics lol - 20k words, complete, T - it's about 6 months after the bite - Lupins are enjoying what they've managed to rebuild of their lives - they're back at work, Remus is back at school, all is well until the full moon fucks it up.

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This is How it Goes - AraHannan

Remus POV, recent months after the bite. 18k, complete, T. Slice of life, but the life is angsty - seeing Hope and Lyall and the whole messy situation through wee Remus' eyes (yowch).

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A Sight for Sore Eyes - BeckettSimpleton

This is my own fic - it's a oneshot (3.8k, G) about Remus going back to his childhood home in 1983 and seeing Hope for the first time since the end of the war. family/bittersweet

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Not Fooling Anyone - burnercell10

Oneshot, G, 3.4k. Aftermath of the prank, includes some very thoughtful and stellar characterisation of Remus and James, but a brilliant slice of Remus & Hope that steals the show <3

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Soon You'll Get Better - remtv

9k, complete, T. Another "the bite" fic - this one with a focus on the "finding a cure" thread and an exploration of Hope's powerlessness in the situation - without access to the information unless it's filtered through Lyall (who is misguidedly trying to shoulder the whole burden) and also she's realistically unable to care for Remus alone and is panicked by this.

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Three Weeks - BeckettSimpleton

My fic again, oneshot 3k words, G. The premise is basically, Remus has developed an obsession/anxiety about the passing of time re; the full moon, but is too young to actually fully grasp the concept. Set just after the bite. Hope and Lyall try a few solutions family/slice of life/emotional hurt/comfort/fluff

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(The Heart May Be) The Weakest Part of Me - 1965 -BeckettSimpleton

Complete, 10k words, my fic rated G. Remus' first full moon - before, during and after - and Hope and Lyall trying to explain to him what will happen. angst/hurt/comfort/family

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the hare and the hound - aeridi0nis

5.6k, Gen, oneshot. Wee Remus doesn't understand why he gets locked away at the full moon and thinks it's a punishment. Includes some messy but well-meaning (but problematic) Lupin parents inexpertly dealing with their less-than-perfect situation

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Puncture Repair - 1965 - BeckettSimpleton

My fic - oneshot with an illustration in ch. 2 - 9k words. It's a standard "the bite" fic, with a focus on muggle/wizard cross-cultural relations and the guilt that comes from having a sick child. angst/voilence/family/hurt/comfort

Hope/Lyall Centric

Magic Man - BeckettSimpleton

My fic - a oneshot 6.5k words rated T - Goofy and silly, Hope gets revenge on Lyall for bringing her to a boring Solstice mixer by dragging him to a muggle New Year's houseparty and telling everyone he's a magician. Humour/culture mixing/fluff/romance

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Just A Phase - 1965

This is one of mine, oneshot 6k words, post Remus' first full moon, Hope is trying to claw back some semblance of normality but the three of them are, let's face it, mentally unwell, Remus is terrorised by nightmares, they're all sleep deprived and anxious. Very easy circumstances to say things to your emotionally fragile husband that you might regret. angst/family

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Advice - burnercell10

Oneshot. 5k words, T. Remus goes to Lyall for advice after running away from pregnant Tonks. I'm putting this one in here even though it's very much about Remus' problematic decision to try and leave pregnant Tonks in DH because what stands out to me so much is Lyall's relationship to Hope and how their approach to raising Remus colours Lyall's response to Remus' decision. Like, yeah, it's about Remus - but it's a GREAT Lyall character study

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Out Of The Woods - burnercell10

12k complete, T. Origin/meet-ugly of Hope and Lyall, basically. BUT oh lord, they are both so well written, and so realistic, and their beginnings are so honest and funny and sweet and this fic is like, THE Hope/Lyall fic imo! Hope is brilliant in this. I mean, Lyall is also brilliant, but Hope is just so "complex, normal woman" in this and she's fantastic. humour/romance/fluff

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First Impressions - burnercell10

7k, complete, T. If you love Hope Lupin, then um, this one!!! It's the beginning stages of Hope and Lyall's relationship, where they meet each other's families and friends, and Hope gets led into the wizarding world. humour/romance

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That's my Good Parent Lupin rec list for now - not all perfect parents, but never antagonistic parents who don't love their son. A mix of delightful and kissable to problematic and frustrating. Love them so so much.

If you know of any others, please add them in the replies or a reblog! I'm always hunting for more.

remus spends the whole series speaking so cautiously, hesitating before he talks, choosing his words so carefully; something i think about a lot is the rarity with which he uses contractions in his speech, i.e. its always “he will” instead of he’ll,” etc. what that says to me is that he speaks slowly, he thinks before he talks, he is measured and careful in his speech. everything he says out loud he has already gone through in his head.

and there’s a reason for that, yeah? he does this on purpose, he does it because he has to maintain this exacted control or else people are going to be afraid. if he loses it, it is going to scare people. anger from remus – a raised voice, an aggressive movement, anything – is going to be perceived as corroboration of every stereotype and prejudice that he encourages people to resist with his constructed performance as a Good Werewolf. he can’t afford to trust that he can drop that emotional wall, because the reality of it is, maybe he can’t. maybe he drops it and people say “here it is, here is the proof that he is a monster, and now we must do what has to be done to monsters.” and so through the entire series, remus is characterized largely by his restraint: what he does not say, what he does not show, what he does not let himself feel.

twice harry (and the reader) sees remus lose control: when dumbledore dies (triggered by grief) and during their fight in grimmauld during deathly hallows (triggered by shame, fear, anger, self-loathing – a lot of things). extreme situations and emotions are the only things that shake him, right, thats when he breaks, that’s when he drops that shield: when he himself is so broken that he does not have the strength to keep it up any longer.

but here is the point in the long-winded rant where i wrap myself back around to the point:

whensirius says ‘you should hear remus talk about her,” there is (to me, anyway) a clear implication that when remus talks about umbridge, he’s pissed. he’s angry. he gives himself permission to be angry around sirius and that is important to me because it means that he trusts sirius. he trusts that sirius knows who he is, and he trusts that around sirius he does not have to maintain this constant charade of being a Good Werewolf. he can be angry, and sirius will think no less of him.  

there is trust there, and that’s important to me, to know that remus does trust sirius again. it’s not a shipping thing or whatever, it’s just, the fact of the matter is that remus does not perform this self-protective act around sirius. that means there is one person who remus trusts himself with, and he needs that, and he deserves that. and i’m glad that it was sirius, for a very short period of time. i’m glad that they had one another back again, that they both had somebody who understood them fully again.

this is why i can’t get behind “remus and sirius aren’t close actually” - that’s an assumption you can make about them as teenagers from what we see in swm, sure, but their adult interactions do paint a different picture.

hard agree around remus’s usual considered speech patterns and restraint being about feeling pressure to perform the Good Werewolf - i’m always struck by this in the dh confrontation in grimmauld place:

Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled over backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.

like… when remus’s unrestrained anger comes out (at the [correct] suggestion he’s being a coward), this is what harry thinks!! harry doesn’t even have the ingrained werewolf prejudice of wider wizarding society, but that’s still the association he makes upon witnessing remus’s anger. remus really can’t express his emotions fully without running the risk of enforcing societal prejudice, and that informs so much of how he interacts with the world.

The war, his anxiety and self loathing, every other werewolf siding with Voldemort - Dumbledore and Moody's deaths still fresh... He is going to be a father without any money, no foreseeable future, his wife's career halted - hiding from the Ministry even before it was fully compromised because he's a werewolf... He's experienced Bellatrix trying to shoot down his wife because she married a werewolf. The last wedding he went to ended in violence.

Last time shit was this bad, the Order being hunted down and shattered - he lost almost everyone who cared about him.

So: put Tonks away, safe, with the baby and her family... and run off to try to do what he thinks would make Dumbledore proud. Or die trying - because he wasn't going to be useful staying alive. Too old, too poor, too sick.

To his mind - staying only puts her at more risk. He undervalues how much choosing to live with her matters, because he undervalues his own self worth. He only see's a wolf.

He was probably trying to make a brave bold decision: Sit with his simmering guilt - just so he can feel comfortable...? Like all the times he had fun on the Full Moons and felt guilty? Watching his friends give Severus grief while feeling guilty? Staying at Hogwarts, comfortable, not mentioning Sirius' secret? No. He has to stand up for whats right for once. And what's right is not getting Tonks killed so he can play family.

He probably had an argument with Tonks, that she is better off hiding while he runs off to die doing something useful - Teddy can grow up without a diseased failure dragging him down. Maybe they can pretend he never existed! That'd fix everything!

Blocked his ears to her saying he was full of shit and went to find Harry - only for Harry to also say he was full of shit. Remus thinks he is being 'a good werewolf'. They think he is being 'a shitty human' - because they both see him as human. Because he is.

He goes and sulks, thinks of his own parents, realizes they're right. Whether Teddy is a werewolf or not - he wants to be a good human. He wants to give Teddy the love his own parents gave to him despite his condition - because imagine if his dad had abandoned him.

He goes home and apologizes... and doesn't freak out again.*

A few hours gone. A day, maybe, if you want to really stretch it. Honestly, even if it was days, or a week - he has more than enough understandable reason to have a heavy mental breakdown. And he FIXED it. He went back home and did things right, even though he is so used to just running away.

Not the worst thing he's done to someone. Just dramatic.

 I know it’s a common idea that he’s making it up or exagerating out of self pity, but I think that kinda denies what we know to be true of the way he is treated across the board. 

It relies solely on the idea that if you’re progressive in one regard (here, Andromeda marrying a muggleborn) than you’ll be progressive everywhere despite the negative propoganda and societal demonisation of a group…which just isn’t the case in any way. 

Like, look at some of the examples we get about werewolves:

(this is a clean-up of an earlier post, incorporating some of the excellent feedback & additions I got.)

Men do 32% of the crying in the Harry Potter books, even though they represent 66% of the characters (pretty much as expected).* However, I’m interested in why the crying happens, and what it says about the characters. Because for the ladies, crying is pretty neutral - they all cry, and for all sorts of reasons (tired, frustrated, stressed, emotionally overwrought...) Bellatrix, Augusta Longbottom, Ginny, Tonks… all cry. Hermione cries thirty separate times over the course of the books. There is a point where where the narrative framing judges them for crying too much (Cho) but mostly it's a non-issue.

Male crying though, is something that gets mocked (by Slytherins.) Pansy calls Neville a “fat little cry baby,” and after Rita’s article (falsely) says that Harry was crying, Draco comes in with “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” There’s also “D’you think [Hagrid]’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s - ” right before Hermione slaps Draco. So making fun of people for crying is bad right? 

Let’s get into it. 

1 : Crying because of a death

The most acceptable reason for male crying. Mostly it happens *right* at the moment of death, or possibly at the funeral/next to the grave. Severus cries over Lily's letter (the ripped one which Harry later finds) which is certainly grave-adjacent.

In Book 3, Harry cries while talking to Lupin about hearing his parents dying (although the narrative voice DOES let us know that he’s kind of embarrassed about this.)

“Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.” 

This attempt to hide hide tears shows up a few more times. Sirius *also* cries when talking about Lily and James' deaths... or does he?

[Harry] was pointing at Black, who shook his head slowly; the sunken eyes were suddenly overbright. "Harry...I as good as killed them," he croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me. ... I'm to blame, I know it. ... The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies...I realized what Peter must've done...what I'd done. ..." His voice broke. He turned away. "Enough of this," said Lupin, and there was a steely note in his voice Harry had never heard before.

@strawberrybasilsorbet analyzes this passage extremely well:

"Suddenly overbright" is a particularly memorable descriptor for me. What an unusual way to describe having tears in one's eyes! It verges on euphemistic. "His voice broke" is much more direct, but still relies on implication instead of mentioning tears outright — which, considering that the intended audience is young readers, could be seen as subtle. Like Harry in the example above, Sirius clearly considers crying something to be ashamed of: he turns away to hide his tears. And in this moment, the sentences also become short. Halting, stilted. The narrative voice evokes Sirius's feelings here instead of describing his actions in detail. It isn't until later in the scene, when Sirius and Lupin begin to take action, that we get a straightforward description: "[Sirius] approached Lupin and the struggling rat, and his wet eyes suddenly seemed to be burning in his face." But even here, it is an understated observation. We don't get a description of actual crying, or even holding back tears."

Sirius also cries in Book 4, while listening to Harry describe seeing the shades of his parents come out of Voldemort's wand.

At this point, Harry found he could not continue. He looked around at Sirius and saw that he had his face in his hands.

@strawberrybasilsorbet continues,

"[this] example is more ambiguous — Sirius might be crying, he might be trying not to cry, or he might just be overwhelmed — but either way, the scene reflects a similar approach to strong emotion. Sirius covers his face to hide his sorrow; the narrator makes a short, declarative observation that leaves a lot between the lines. These scenes suggest that masculine tears are most respected by the narrative when they are (1) in response to grief, (2) irrepressible, despite the character's attempts to obscure or prevent them. Sirius and Harry are the two characters who represent this most clearly, although Lupin's sudden steeliness in the PoA scene implies that he shares this perspective. (This is also reflected in Lupin's decision to switch from talk to action: he cuts the conversation abruptly when Sirius begins to cry, demanding that Ron hand over Scabbers immediately. He is likely trying to spare his friend the ordeal of further emotional vulnerability). The narrator's voice seems to share this instinct, giving Sirius the dignity of subtlety when describing his emotions. This contrasts strongly with characters like Peter, whose tears are described in vivid and humiliating detail. What I think is especially revealing is how...discreet?...the narrator's voice becomes when Sirius is the character who is crying.

There is this slight *fan dance* quality present, where we see Sirius before he starts crying, and then again after he has already cried. But really don't see him actually crying.

Harry also has an interesting, sort of delayed reaction to Dumbledore's death:

Dumbledore had weakened himself by drinking that terrible potion for nothing. Harry crumpled the parchment in his hand, and his eyes burned with tears as behind him. Fang began to howl. He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent hot tears spilling from his eyes

There’s a lot going on in this moment: Harry is tired, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. But we still get that note that tears are something that ought to be hidden, and that even though Harry is trying to stop them, these happen to be irrepressible.

Crying because of a death: Full Breakdown

Amos Diggory: 1 (Cedric’s death) 

Arthur Weasley: 1 (Fred’s death)

Harry Potter: 5 (Hedwig, Lily, James, Dumbledore, Sirius)

Rubeus Hagrid: 4 (Dumbledore, Buckbeak, Aragog, Harry) 

Sirius Black: 2 (Lily, James)

Severus Snape: 1 (Lily)

Argus Filtch: 1 (thinks Mrs. Norris is dead) 

Xenophillius Lovegood: 1 (thinks Luna is dead) 

Fillius Flitwick: (thinks Ginny is dead) 

Neville Longbottom (thinks Harry is dead)

Ron Weasley: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral) 

Elphias Doge: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral

Grawp (Dumbledore's funeral)

2: Crying because of pain

You’d think this one would also be acceptable. But… not really? Dudley cries when Vernon hits him (but Harry doesn’t.) Peter Pettigrew cries when he cuts off his own hand, Saw style, but it gets framed as blubbering weakness. It's unclear exactly what Voldemort is doing to Quirrell in Book 1 to make him cry, but it doesn't sound fun.

“No — no — not again, please —” It sounded as though someone was threatening him. Harry moved closer. “All right — all right —” he heard Quirrell sob.

And it's then Quirrell himself who frames his instance of crying as weak: "Sometimes (...) I find it hard to follow my master’s instructions — he is a great wizard and I am weak —”

Our last guy who cries in pain is Neville, first after he breaks his wrist during flying lessons, and again when he is tortured by Bellatrix. He also “sniffs,” while walking into the Forbidden Forest for detention, which *might* count? But really, Neville cries surprisingly little. We get a lot of “looked as though he might cry” and “on the verge of tears”... but that's not actually crying. And I think that’s because - early-books Neville, yes we’re supposed to see him as a little pathetic. But definitely not as pathetic as Dudley, Quirrell or Pettigrew. @blorger writes:

The characters who cry for pain are crying because they're just Not Man Enough (and that's wormtail's biggest failure as a character, isn't it?). Neville, to me, is the perfect encapsulation of JKR's attitude towards crying: he is constantly on the verge of crying, especially in the first books, because we're meant to feel a sort of benign pity for him, his weakness makes him amiable, yes, but there's still strength in his character (he can stop himself from crying! see, he's brave!). Neville does Suffering well, and nothing shows one's character to jkr more than how they handle suffering.

Crying in pain: Full Breakdown

Dudley Dursley: 1 (hit by Uncle Vernon)

Neville Longbottom: 2 (broken wrist, tortured)

Peter Pettigrew: 1 (hand cut off)

Professor Quirrell: 1 (non-specific Voldemort torture)

Bonus almost crying: 

Dudley Dursley: Fake crying

Neville Longbottom: “looked as though he might cry” “on the verge of tears.” 

Professor Quirrell: “looked as though he was about to cry”

3: “Childlike” crying

Sometimes the people who cry are literally little boys. No one is going to judge infant Harry for crying when Voldemort is in the house, or little Severus for crying when his parents are fighting. Interestingly, when Myrtle is talking about Draco crying in her bathroom, Harry assumes she’s talking about someone much younger: 

“There’s been a boy in here crying?” said Harry curiously. “A young boy?” 

But of course, when an adult is crying in a childlike way, it immediately becomes… pathetic. Again we have Pettigrew, who “burst into tears. It was horrible to watch: He looked like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.” In the Horcrux cave, crying Dumbledore is described “like a child dying of thirst.” Which is also meant to be pathetic, but in more of a ‘Harry has to be the adult now’ sort of way. Also, the potion seems to have made Dumbledore mentally regress back to his youth, so it’s *closer* to a literal “child crying” moment. 

(I considered putting Dumbledore drinking the potion in the ‘pain’ section, but at least in the book I think it’s clear he’s mostly in emotional rather than physical pain.)

Where this gets messy is with the house-elves. House-elves are not children, but they are presented as childlike. They are small and in-your-face, direct even though their problem-solving tends to be very convoluted/not especially logical. I like the present-tense, no pronouns way they speak, but I can’t deny it is kind of baby-talk adjacent. And… house elves are *really* emotional. Dobby, Kreacher (and Winky) cry a LOT. If I had to guess, I would say JKR likes treating house-elves as childlike so it’s more of a surprise when it turns out that one of them was behind everything. But considering that they are slaves, it is gross - considering that one of the main real-world justifications for slavery was ‘slaves are childlike, and therefore unable to take care of themselves.'

There’s also Hagrid. With seventeen separate instances of crying, Hagrid easily cries more than any other guy in the Harry Potter books. And… well… he’s also presented as oddly childlike. He seems much more like Harry and Ron’s contemporary than a peer of the other professors - which is weird, since  if he went to school with Voldemort fifty years ago, he’s in his sixties now. But still, he’s helpless in the face of criticism, he’s comically out of his depth whenever he deals with the Ministry, he’s constantly letting things slip or drastically misjudging danger levels. The first three books all use “Hagrid gets in trouble, the gang has to bail him out” as a plot point, and in Book 4 his sideplot with Madame Maxime gets treated like a schoolboy’s first crush, with all these jokes about him wearing suits that don’t quite fit, and trying and failing to style his hair.

Childlike crying: Full breakdown

Rubeus Hagrid: 13

Dobby: 7

Kreacher: 3

Peter Pettigrew: 1

Harry Potter: 1 (infant)

Severus Snape: 1 “while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner.”  “it was unnerving to think that the crying little boy who had watched his parents shouting ” 

Albus Dumbledore: 1 "like a child dying of thirst"

4. Crying because of strong emotion

The main distinction in this section is going to be... does the character try to suppress the crying, or not? If they do try to suppress it, then it stays respectable, almost on a level with grief-crying. If not well... that means that the character crying is meant to read as a little pathetic, a little femme or (lets face it)... both.

Take this example of Ron crying after he destroys the locket horcrux:

Ron was breathing heavily: His eyes were no longer red at all, but their normal blue; they were also wet. Harry stooped, pretending he had not seen, and picked up the broken Horcrux. (...) “After you left,” he said in a low voice, grateful for the fact that Ron’s face was hidden, “[Hermione] cried for a week. Probably longer, only she didn’t want me to see..."

Hermione is allowed more tears because she is a girl, but there does come a point where she has to cry in private or else run the risk of being perceived as crying too much (like Cho.) In terms of the boys - again, we've got a moment similar to the one Sirius and Remus have, where Ron is (correctly) hiding his tears and Harry is (correctly) doing a 'I'm going to protect you from further vulnerability by kind of changing the subject / pretending that I didn't see you cry' kind of thing. Also like we see in the Sirius example, the description of Ron's crying is subtle, almost euphemistic ("wet eyes.") We are not using the word cry, or tears, or sob anything like that.

Neville also cries in private. Back in Book 1, he does cry into his pillow after losing Gryffindor 50 house points. But the moment is hidden. He keeps the tears in - until he's alone, in bed, and (just like with Ron) Harry pretends he doesn't hear.

Look at this next excerpt, of Percy's reunion with his family, and look especially at how the crying of all three characters is handled:

Mrs. Weasley burst into tears. She ran forward, pushed Fred aside, and pulled Percy into a strangling hug, while he patted her on the back, his eyes on his father. “I’m sorry, Dad,” Percy said. Mr. Weasley blinked rather rapidly, then he too hurried to hug his son. “What made you see sense, Perce?” inquired George. “It’s been coming on for a while,” said Percy, mopping his eyes under his glasses with a corner of his traveling cloak.

Molly is crying buckets, no problem. Arthur gets almost-crying or euphemistic crying. And Percy is explicitly crying, not trying to hide it, and even gets the slightly comedic imagery of trying to wipe his eyes without taking off his glasses.

And well, JKR respects Percy less than she respects Arthur. As @arkadijxpancakes puts it, "When it comes to Percy, I'm still surprised how subdued his crying in that scene is. Because, yeah, Rowling does respect him less. She also has a tendency to write him in a pretty feminine manner. It's still a stark contrast to his mother, however."

So from this, we can see that this male heightened emotionality is meant to look a bit comedic - like when Oliver Wood cries when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup "to highlight that his weird priorities are funny and slightly ridiculous," ( @blorger.) We also don't see Hogwarts-age Severus actually cry, but considering his nickname is “Snivellus” (ie “crybaby,” since “sniveling” is a synonym for crying) I'm assuming he does. Just the word "Snivellus" is clearly supposed to funny and a little pathetic.

Slughorn has an interesting instance of crying at Aragog's funeral, not out of grief for Aragog, but out of a maudlin sense of togetherness, nostalgia, and camaraderie. It *is* supposed to be funny that he's crying over a giant spider he just met. Like Percy, Slughorn is also a bit femme-coded: a flashy dresser with lilac pajamas, who loves his treats and fancy dinner parties, and is well-connected without being ambitious the way Lucius is. He also is aligned with pureblood-supremacy, but hyper avoidant of violence and confrontation... just like someone else we know.

Draco of course gets a BIG crying scene in Book 6. We hear about him crying once from Myrtle, and then see it first hand: 

Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

The narrative voice takes a second to let us know that he was ACTUALLY CRYING, just to hammer in that this is something unexpected and not-normal. I think I want also to attribute Draco’s tendency to cry - and cry because he’s overwhelmed, scared, lonely - to the character’s slight femme coding. And the fact that JKR clearly sees him as a bit pathetic.

We get this third-hand description of Peter's confrontation with Sirius, but ill take it:

“Pettigrew died a hero’s death. Eyewitnesses (...) told us how Pettigrew cornered Black. They say he was sobbing, ‘Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?’

It's told this way to make the twist work - Peter isn't holding back his tears in a many fashion, he's opening sobbing. And Peter, as we know, is treated as extremely pathetic and not even slightly respected by the narrative.

The most surprising person to land in this particular category is Dumbledore. I was very surprised he cries as much as he does, at such unusual times, and with none of the "manliness" of a crying Harry, Ron, Sirius, or Arthur. He cries when he sees Snape’s doe patronus - because of love or just because he’s emotionally overwhelmed. He cries all through the Horcrux cave, primarily because of guilt. He cries twice during the King’s Cross Station vision-quest, once because of his complicated feelings about Harry while he asks for forgiveness, and once over … Grindelwald.

“They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends . . . to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow . . .”  “. . . or maybe from breaking into your tomb?” suggested Harry, and Dumbledore dabbed his eyes.

My theory is that Dumbledore gets all these tears because he is actually, deliberately queer coded. JKR announced that Dumbledore was gay just a few months after Book 7 was published, and I think she had that character interpretation in her head as early as Book 6. My proof of that is Dumbledore's increased emotionality - and also this interesting passage from Book 6: 

This younger Albus Dumbledore’s long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing. “Nice suit, sir,” said Harry, before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

Wizards out and about in the muggle world often wear unusual colors like purple and emerald green. However. That adjective flamboyantly is only used one other time in the entire series, to describe Fudge’s hand gestures. Here, it is used to describe clothes, a purple velvet suit which is honestly more than a little bit Oscar Wilde. And “flamboyantly gay” … those are two words often heard together. 

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this is the only opinion about clothing Harry ever expresses aloud. @niche-pastiche hit the nail right on the head with the observation that "Nice suit, sir" is SO the response of a young adhd boy in the early 2000s trying not to say "thats gay." 

And so that's my say. In JKR's head, crying isn't "manly" - so if you are crying, it's because you're a woman, you're a child, you're funny/pathetic, or you're ambiguously femme-coded. A noble single man tear is allowed at times of intense grief, but otherwise you have to turn your head away.

Crying because of strong emotion: Full breakdown 

Draco Malfoy: 2

Severus Snape: 1

Albus Dumbledore: 4

Horace Slughorn: 1

Oliver Wood: 1

Arthur Weasley: 1

Percy Weasley: 1

Ron Weasley: 1

Neville Longbottom: 1

Peter Pettigrew: 1

(At least I think they're missing. If I missed something in the post, I apologise)

1. In OotP at the end of the chapter The Lost Prophecy:

“I feel I owe you another explanation, Harry,” said Dumbledore hesitantly. “You may, perhaps, have wondered why I never chose you as a prefect? I must confess . . . that I rather thought . . . you had enough responsibility to be going on with.”

Harry looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore’s face into his long silver beard.

2. When Harry tells him that he's "Dumbledore's man through and through"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Behind Harry, Fawkes the phoenix let out a low, soft, musical cry. To Harry’s intense embarrassment, he suddenly realized that Dumbledore’s bright blue eyes looked rather watery and stared hastily at his own knees. When Dumbledore spoke, however, his voice was quite steady.

Both of these are rather understated, but I don't think they still fit the bill, which would bring Dumbledore's count of crying from emotional overwhelm up to 6.

Introduction

Why Astrology is so complicated

on AO3

Horoscopes

Severus Snape

Harry Potter

Draco Malfoy

Sirius Black

Regulus Black

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Peter Pettigrew

Charlie Weasley

Tom Riddle

Lily Evans

Luna Lovegood

Ron Weasley

Hermione Granger

Synastry

Snarry

Snarry Pt 2

Drarry

Wolfstar

Jegulus

Starbucks

Snegulus

Tomarry

Snily

Snack

Miscellaneous

Narcissa's placements (chat with siriusly-sapphic)

Severus Snape's cleaning habits (according to astrology)

"Moody," Harry said. He was still in a state of complete disbelief. "How can it have been Moody?"

"This is not Alastor Moody," said Dumbledore quietly. "You have never known Alastor Moody. The real Moody would not have removed you from my sight after what happened tonight. The moment he took you, I knew—and I followed."

Dumbledore bent down over Moody's limp form and put a hand inside his robes. He pulled out Moody's hip flask and a set of keys on a ring. Then he turned to Professors McGonagall and Snape.

"Severus, please fetch me the strongest Truth Potion you possess, and then go down to the kitchens and bring up the house-elf called Winky. Minerva, kindly go down to Hagrid's house, where you will find a large black dog sitting in the pumpkin patch. Take the dog up to my office, tell him I will be with him shortly, then come back here."

I think one of my favourite things about Lupin is how he lets you stumble over your own answers. He has tremendous faith in young people and gives them space to think for themselves. He really is a great mentor in PoA. Here are some instances: When discussing the Dementor's Kiss, the end that awaits Sirius Black, Harry is quick with his answer:

“He deserves it,” he said suddenly.

“You think so?” said Lupin lightly. “Do you really think anyone deserves that?”

“Yes,” said Harry defiantly. “For ... for some things ...” Lupin doesn't correct him or pretend to know better. He is having a really mature exchange with someone much younger than him. "Lupin said lightly" shows how he isn't letting Harry feel in any way that this isn't a safe space, despite the topic being a sensitive one for himself too. He doesn't explode or reprimand Harry, but he doesn't agree either, he lets Harry think about it... Interestingly, this all works to bring Harry to his PoA arc! Themes on who gets to decide who is guilty, is justice to be trusted? With Harry being someone quite emotionally shut towards adults (understandably so), it always gets to me how quickly he opens up to Lupin. Lupin said, “Anything worrying you, Harry?”

“No,” Harry lied. He drank a bit of tea and watched the grindylow brandishing a fist at him. “Yes,” he said suddenly, putting his tea down on Lupin’s desk. “You know that day we fought the boggart?

Then when Harry asks him why he got skipped for the boggart lesson, Lupin says:

“I would have thought that was obvious, Harry,” he said, sounding surprised.

Narratively, of course, this is to help reveal Lupin’s relationship with James and by extension Sirius, but Harry tells him before that, when he’s hearing only Lily. The only time that comes up to anyone else is when he is yelling at Sirius in the Shack before knowing the truth, that Sirius never had to hear “his mum” begging Voldemort, like he, Harry has. (Which, ooof, is going to be a knife to one Sirius Black’s chest.)

In fact, Harry so regularly confides in Lupin during these lessons that one time I stopped in the middle of reading aloud and said, “Does Harry do that a lot? Tells Professor Lupin things?”

I got nods all the way around, by the way.

First impression:

I remember the moment I'd say that I met Lily Evans, which was the first time I read OotP. That's a book I latched onto hard when I first read it, for a number of reasons (Sirius content!!) but in large part because of the surprising amount of important women, meaningful women, women who Do Things who aren't just Hermione. Ginny gets her badass level up in this book, Luna shows that being clever doesn't mean being nerdy necessarily, Tonks and Bellatrix bring the firepower, and even Mrs. Weasley gets to show some serious personality with the introduction of Fabian and Gideon's tragic deaths (they might actually be the only male example of fridging I can accept). And then there was Lily, holding her own in a verbal sparring match with James, turning on Snape when he doesn't respect her, refusing to be dismissed or minimized.

I didn't identify a lot with Hermione as a child - the comparison was inevitable, because of how much I read and how I absorbed knowledge, but I didn't see myself in her much because personality wise we're very different. Lily was different. I looked at her and I saw a lot of myself. I'm not really sure why - she's much cooler than I am - but I won't ever be able to shake that.

Impression now:

look I just fucking love her. I love a feminist member of an ethnic minority trying to hold her own in political turmoil. I love a passionate woman who knows what and who she wants and states it boldly and goes after it with no regrets. I love how academically gifted she is, how brave she is, how messy she is and how unapologetic she is. I love her kindness and her wit. I think she's great.

Favorite moment:

I'm actually going to give it to something we never see, which is her little shared moments with visitors while in hiding. She writes to Sirius about this to an extent but something about thinking of her playing hostess and wishing she could be Out There Doing Something really gets me.

Idea for a story:

The one I'm writing now, actually! This started out as a Jily-centric "what happened between winter 1977 and autumn 1981" fic and has turned into something that's both more general (including other characters) and more specialized (Lily Explains The Motion Pictures). I just want to write about her life.

Unpopular opinion:

this isn't really unpopular I don't think but I'm always annoyed by people treating Lily like a trophy their fave can win by being loyal or clever or funny or naturally deserving. She pretty clearly spoke for herself, constantly, and as a result that's why I tend to default to Jily in the sea of potential Lily ships - I just can't see her marrying someone without knowing 100% that he deserves her time and attention and love. Anything else, for me, doesn't take her obvious desire for autonomy and respect into account.

Favorite relationship:

Honestly my actual favorite relationship is the friendship she evidently had with Sirius. I sort of see him as the amorphous platonic domestic partner that the Potters never officially acknowledged they had, because he's James's brother/best friend/platonic boyfriend/partner in crime/inverse/other half/etc, and he's Lily's confidante and companion and fellow roller-of-eyes at James's various shenanigans. There's a reason he was made godfather and legal guardian.

Favorite headcanon:

That she and Sev co-developed the hacks and recipes and spells in the Prince's textbook.

First impression:

I remember the moment I'd say that I met Lily Evans, which was the first time I read OotP. That's a book I latched onto hard when I first read it, for a number of reasons (Sirius content!!) but in large part because of the surprising amount of important women, meaningful women, women who Do Things who aren't just Hermione. Ginny gets her badass level up in this book, Luna shows that being clever doesn't mean being nerdy necessarily, Tonks and Bellatrix bring the firepower, and even Mrs. Weasley gets to show some serious personality with the introduction of Fabian and Gideon's tragic deaths (they might actually be the only male example of fridging I can accept). And then there was Lily, holding her own in a verbal sparring match with James, turning on Snape when he doesn't respect her, refusing to be dismissed or minimized.

I didn't identify a lot with Hermione as a child - the comparison was inevitable, because of how much I read and how I absorbed knowledge, but I didn't see myself in her much because personality wise we're very different. Lily was different. I looked at her and I saw a lot of myself. I'm not really sure why - she's much cooler than I am - but I won't ever be able to shake that.

Impression now:

look I just fucking love her. I love a feminist member of an ethnic minority trying to hold her own in political turmoil. I love a passionate woman who knows what and who she wants and states it boldly and goes after it with no regrets. I love how academically gifted she is, how brave she is, how messy she is and how unapologetic she is. I love her kindness and her wit. I think she's great.

Favorite moment:

I'm actually going to give it to something we never see, which is her little shared moments with visitors while in hiding. She writes to Sirius about this to an extent but something about thinking of her playing hostess and wishing she could be Out There Doing Something really gets me.

Idea for a story:

The one I'm writing now, actually! This started out as a Jily-centric "what happened between winter 1977 and autumn 1981" fic and has turned into something that's both more general (including other characters) and more specialized (Lily Explains The Motion Pictures). I just want to write about her life.

Unpopular opinion:

this isn't really unpopular I don't think but I'm always annoyed by people treating Lily like a trophy their fave can win by being loyal or clever or funny or naturally deserving. She pretty clearly spoke for herself, constantly, and as a result that's why I tend to default to Jily in the sea of potential Lily ships - I just can't see her marrying someone without knowing 100% that he deserves her time and attention and love. Anything else, for me, doesn't take her obvious desire for autonomy and respect into account.

Favorite relationship:

Honestly my actual favorite relationship is the friendship she evidently had with Sirius. I sort of see him as the amorphous platonic domestic partner that the Potters never officially acknowledged they had, because he's James's brother/best friend/platonic boyfriend/partner in crime/inverse/other half/etc, and he's Lily's confidante and companion and fellow roller-of-eyes at James's various shenanigans. There's a reason he was made godfather and legal guardian.

Favorite headcanon:

That she and Sev co-developed the hacks and recipes and spells in the Prince's textbook.

What do you think of when you imagine an average, colonized werewolf? Of someone who chooses or was forced to live on the fringes of society? Not Remus. Remus, who probably has clean clothes and is tame compared to the wild looks of the werewolves we encounter in book. But what might be a real, blatant giveaway, especially to someone who can spy? There are a couple of things that come to mind.

The first is that Remus has history among humans. Remus was bitten young, like Greyback is known to do serially. I would wager there are a lot of young people, but then a healthy collection of people who were bitten later in life and fell into misfortune rather than sprouting in it. These are people who would look visibly different from the traditional man on Diagon Alley. Remus would likely appear a bit healthier than they do, he would have an aversion to stealing, he would have clean clothes and his hair would be cut properly. He would have different mannerisms: he might knock before entering someone’s space, he might choose to eat with a fork instead of just with his fingers. For all intents and purposes, Remus is like the fresh inmate: it’s both obvious to everyone because he’s new, and because he doesn’t act the part. He doesn’t look the part. And he couldn’t: the social cues, the cultural rules–they all betray him as someone else, an outsider, until he learns.

He’s educated, and people can tell. More than having gone to Hogwarts, which can be disguised as a childhood love of books, probably–Remus is clever. Remus is knowledgeable, and well-learned. That’s obvious when he speaks. And without knowing his history, it’s reasonable to guess that he was brought up in an environment where those things in  him were nurtured. A place very unlike the desolation of a colony.

Remus has a wand, and can do magic. In fact he may need to have kept this part of himself particularly well hidden, and may be the reason we see him able to use the flames in PoA (wandless spell, fire for survival?). Werewolves are hinted at having to steal and commit crimes to survive, something which is blamed on their savage nature but which is really more a side effect of their social status. If they serve a stint in Azkaban, what becomes of their wand? What happens to their wand when they transform? What happens when you’re bitten young, too young to get a wand, and you certainly won’t go to school? I suspect fully realized wizards and witches are a rarity among the colonies, and that things like potions are where they can excel at magic. Tonics for full moons, and such.

Perhaps scars have something to do with it too. Remus doesn’t run with a pack for most of his life, and how do you expect a large population of werewolves to stay locked up when they haven’t homes? I expect they run free in the countryside, far from people to bite unless they’re–ahem–otherwise motivated. Most want to stay out of that sort of trouble, though. But running with a pack provides stimulation, mental and physical, that Remus doesn’t get in his monthly stints in solitary. It might become clear when he runs with them that he’s not used to this, both when in wolf form and in human.

Remus also advocates for humans, for the Ministry, for Dumbledore—for the society at large. He goes to the colonies with that purpose, but it helps that Remus believes what he says: that humans and werewolves can eventually coexist, and that working with Voldemort is a fool’s road. The general idea of werewolves we’re given is that they’re bitter folk, and for good reason. But here is someone who’s obviously from a better place, coming down to preach about how people who hate you can help you? Nah.

He also refers to himself as “a werewolf”, but never says, “we werewolves”. It’s always “the werewolves,” and “they”. He doesn’t consider himself one of them. He never does. He never did, and he never will. And no matter how good a spy he is, that sense of separation leaves little crumbs behind that others can detect, whether it’s the slight frown in his face when the werewolves talk about Dumbledore or about the visible rigidity in his spine when they talk about the idea of creating other werewolves.

~~ the Werewolves of the Wizarding World ~~

Vers. 1 I've tried to collect every relevant description of Lycanthropy or Werewolves in the books, to get a clear understanding of what this condition is, what it does, how it works and how it is seen. There are also some of my own thoughts and theories in here - I'll try to make it clear what is my own thoughts and what is canon.

If I have missed anything please mention it. I'd like this to be a thorough exploration of the topic. I will edit the posts.

Part 1: Physical Symptoms of Lycanthropy Part 2: Social Perception of Werewolves Part 3: Regarding the 'Full Moon'... (^In which I claim POA's transformation didn't happen on the Full Moon^) Part 4: Long-Term Lycanthropy: The Case of Fenrir Greyback Part 5: Wolfsbane vs Wolf - Theories of Treatments Part 6: Pottermore and More Part 7: Collected Summary

Note: Prisoner of Azkaban used is the Australian paperback from 2000. I typed out every quote by hand, it sucked ass. Order of the Pheonix, Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows were all from internet sources of American versions so I could copy and paste.

Other 'Meta'

How Powerful is Albus Dumbledore Dumbledore Was Never Mean to Tom Riddle (Part 1)

How friendly were Sirius and Remus? (1971 - 1981) (part 1...?)

Part 4: Long-Term Lycanthropy - The Case of Fenrir Greyback

Fenrir Greyback is an interesting figure. He is the only other named werewolf character, is wildly different from Remus... and gives us a broader view on what it is like to have Lycanthropy long-term.

Looking at Lycanthropy (all parts)

Words: Approx. 6000

Every few weeks someone online looks at Harry Potter and decides that Remus Lupin was:

• “cold” for not checking on Harry;

• “exaggerating” about Tonks’ parents being "disgusted" by their marriage;

• or “selfish” for pushing people away;

And every time I have to ask:

Do you people actually understand what being a werewolf meant in canon?

Because the books and Pottermore are very clear. You’re just choosing not to read them.

1. “Why didn’t Remus check on Harry with the Dursleys?”

Why would he? Do you realize what it meant to have any connection to a werewolf?

Remus:

• would rather live in extreme poverty than with his beloved dad because he didn't want to be a burden to him;

• never maintained any close relationships (even with the Marauders, we see that he's never mentioned as one by the teachers or Madam Rosmerta, which hints us that he wasn't seen by others as being that close to them);

• never allowed himself to love anyone untill Tonks popped into his world and he couldn't run away (they were working together for the Order, and — what is worse! — everyone from the Order was even implied to be living in Grimmauld Place);

• spent his entire life isolating himself on purpose;

Even with Tonks, the only person he ever loved, he resisted until he broke down. And when he found out she was pregnant, he didn’t react with joy. He had a mental collapse.

He called himself a creature. He almost tore his own hair out. He tried to run away. He was absolutely dustressed. That’s trauma.

Remus knew from lived experience that anyone attached to a werewolf would be dragged into danger, poverty, prejudice, and social exile.

Why on earth would he willingly subject Harry into that???

2. “But Harry was suffering, someone should’ve checked on him!”

And someone did. Mrs. Figg.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid and Mrs. Figg knew where Harry was. But they were heavily implied to be the only ones to know.

And notice something important? Only Mrs. Figg was allowed to check on him.

Why? Because she wasn’t magical. Nothing she did would raise suspicion. If wizards were freely coming and going, the protections would’ve been compromised.

If that weren’t the case, wouldn’t Hagrid have shown up? Even once?

Remus didn’t stay away because he didn’t care. He stayed away because he cared too much and because he wasn't allowed to come near Harry (plus, he probably didn't even know where Harry was)!

3. “Remus was exaggerating about Tonks’ parents”

No. He wasn’t. The author never puts words in someone's mouth unless they really mean something.

Imagine this: You have a brilliant, vibrant daughter, with a promising career. She’s an Auror, one of the most respected jobs in the wizarding world. And then she marries a werewolf, a social pariah.

So, suddenly:

• she becomes an outcast;

• she’s hunted by the Ministry;

• she has to run from Scrimgeour, the Minister for Magic, her boss (and the same man who used to lead the Auror Department, so he knew her well), which means she loses her job;

• she becomes a direct target for Bellatrix;

Tonks risked (and lost) everything just by marrying Remus.

That’s not exaggeration. That’s canon consequence.

Why Remus rejected Tonks (and everyone else)?

Because he was the only one who truly understood what being a werewolf meant.

He had watched his beloved parents (who were wonderful parents, no matter what fanfiction says about them):

• live in fear;

• face constant prejudice;

• suffer socially and economically;

All because they loved him.

That guilt shaped his entire life. That’s his arc!!

That’s why he kept people at arm’s length, that's why he believed he was unworthy of love that's why he thought others (including Tonks, Teddy and Harry!!) would be “way better off” (his own words) without him!

He didn't kept Tonks, Teddy or Harry at arm's length because he didn’t love them. But because he loved them so much that he thought sacrificing himself was the kinder choice. He sacrificed himself for... the greater good (sounds familiar?)

Remus Lupin is not a neglectful coward. He is a deeply traumatized man shaped by systemic oppression, internalized stigma, and survivor’s guilt.

If you reduce his actions to “he should’ve tried harder,” you’re not understanding the character all (while you probably defend characters like Sirius or Snape, because you cared to try to understand them); You’re erasing the very tragedy that defines him.

20. you’re in a car with a beautiful boy and you're trying not to tell him that you love him.

(i am so sorry in advance for this one lol)

"they asked me to be the godfather," sirius says, and remus grips the steering wheel like it's the only thing he's ever wanted to strangle.

"oh."

I think fanon really misses the practical side of sirius. he understands the consequences of his actions and is prepared to live with them. unhappiness and discomfort is his stasis. but the consequences of him disobeying dumbledore would not affect only sirius, but the whole order. they'd affect harry.

sirius has no problem deciding to sacrifice his comfort or happiness or even sanity for other's sakes. he has no problem doing it just for a personal thrill. when he says "the risk would have made it fun for james" he is speaking only about the risk to himself, not to harry.

sirius' rebellious attitude comes from his abuse. his practical side comes from his abuse as well. he learned how to look at the facts of a shitty situation with no good options—obey horrible parents and hurt inside, maybe even hurt others one day, or disobey horrible parents and hurt now. dumbledore is offering a similar choice, except if sirius obeys he is the only one getting hurt. what a good deal!

I imagine that before wands were popularized, different magical cultures likely used innate, environmental, ancestral or ritualistic forms of magic. Wands arrive as a “superior,” “efficient,” “civilized” tool, completely mirroring how colonizers frame their tech and culture, and once wand use becomes standardized (under European dominance), it becomes the metric for what “proper” magic is. It’s like a classic colonizer move: redefine the standard so the colonized never quite measure up.

I can see wands existing as instruments of surveillance, to track and record wand bearers. If we look at canon we see that The Ministry can trace spells, that wand registration exists, that underage magic is tracked via wands and that muggleborns need documentation about their wand status (and are suspected without one). This echoes real-world issues where colonizers impose paperwork, IDs, “permits,” licenses… Wands give the Ministry the power to know who you are, what you can do, what magic you’re capable of, when you break laws… So if you come from a magical tradition without wands, you’re suddenly invisible, illegible and therefore illegal.

Because of that, wandless magic would be considered “primitive”, “wild” and “dangerous”. This is exactly how colonizers treat any practice outside their norm. Elves can perform wandless magic with terrifying skill, so their use of wands is banned. Goblins have their own magical lore, so the wandmakers keep that knowledge proprietary and exclude them. Even wizard-on-wizard discrimination exists (Western wandmaking superiority mythos). The entire hierarchy is created around wand access, not magical ability. It’s not that non-wand cultures have “lesser” magic, it’s that the system is built to invalidate them.

I also see a relation between wands and industrialization and commercialization of the innate. Magic used to be craft, ritual, birthright, relationship with land, energy. Then wands turn it into products, brands, patents, trade secrets, regulated commodities. It literally mirrors the industrial revolution, with something natural becoming standardized, mass-produced and commercialized. Wand cores are harvested, trees are cut for wand wood, ecosystems are commodified. Magic becomes a consumer good.

Wands can also be seen as a cultural erasure weapon. For many communities, magic done with hands, through song, nature and ancestral rites would carry spiritual meaning. But wizards, especially European ones, invalidate that, create a monoculture of wand magic and enforce it through Ministry law. That’s not just colonization, it’s cultural genocide.

We can imagine social implications as the divide between “civilized” wand users and “primitive” wandless ones, wizard supremacy ideology brewed not just from blood purity but method purity, power defined by conformity, not ability, education systems that erase non-wand magic (Hogwarts teaches nothing else), a Ministry that claims to “protect” lesser magical cultures but actually suppresses them.