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Hi!! Thank you for 503 Followers!! <3 I’m surprised that people like the silly stuff I post 😭🤲🌷

Before I start, as I blocked Raven, I could not read the entire post she made but instead a friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous for their own comfort and safety from the harassment I myself am getting) was asked to give me a summery of what was said. If some of this information is not the entirety of what was discussed in that post or is not accurate, then be aware it is because the post is somewhat long that my friend was having trouble summarizing it as it is.

First I would like to apologize for how I may have seemed vague, or at least that's how Raven put it. The video and responses were made on tiktok, and I attempted to be as blunt as I can. I did not want the video or comments to be taken down by TikTok community guidelines, and so I could not give too much information in the fear that that's what would happen.

I want to start with the second thing she addressed. The Malleus, Sebek, and Yuu cucking fic. I understand many people will have different views, which I understand I cannot force people to adhere to my own views and opinions. Me doing so was my mistake. However Sebek is still a minor and a first year, while Malleus is an adult and a third year. Malleus cucking Sebek's girlfriend would indicate that Malleus was going after someone who was Sebek's age.

People can argue about this all they want, but aging up a character does not take away that this character is a minor canon.

Another thing is that I heavily viewed Sebek and Malleus's relationship to be entirely platonic and brother-coded, which made me react the way I did. This is all my own opinion, one I know not everyone shares.

The second thing I would like to address is about the fic I talked about involving Vil x Rook x Epel, which I said involved CNC and rape. I have genuinely made a mistake with this one, and I am very sorry for it. Although it is not an excuse, I have been dealing with some things, which for my own privacy I will not mention too much about, which have affected my memory. Again, this is not an excuse. I am sincerely sorry for accusing Raven of writing such a thing. I double checked all of raven's nsfw posts and I could not find what I was looking for. I even had a friend check them and she couldn't find anything either. I suspect I got it confused with another fic. I entirely relied on my memory, one of which has been failing me, when I was writing my allegations, which I know I should not have done. A part of me thinks that when I read the anon's message, and read the specific words

"forcing him to please him, all while Rook watches" made me assume that's what the post was about.

Again I am sorry for the wrongful accusations. I don't expect Raven to forgive me, as the allegations I made were horrible and I should have put more thought into it.

The current state of my mental health, which I have been recently working on and will continue working on for the foreseeable future, caused me to react more emotionally then I should have, and I did not do my proper research. I should have been more mindful of what I said, and my lack of mindfulness hurt Raven, especially with such a horrible accusation.

Raven added one thing to her post though that I need to clear up. Specifically where she said I make NSFW content, followed by a screenshot saying "This account will be more suggestive then my main blog (be freaky whenever I most suggestive content! But not on my SFW posts)." I do NOT do nsfw content. Suggestive at most, all of which involve adult characters, but never explicitly NSFW. Any NSFW I do draw is strictly private and shared with a very select few of people. It is never posted, and all I have posted was ever only SFW or suggestive at most.

The way she worded it was very strange to me, however. It seemed as if she wanted to have a "gotcha" moment, where she "called me out" on me making NSFW content after l accused her of the same thing. I know she said she felt forced, but at the time I assumed she was fine with it after I saw this post she made

She used the words "I had to cut back on NSFW writing because I was overwhelmed by the demand for it," which made me think she was completely fine writing them and only stopped once people started crossing boundaries. That was entirely my mistake.

I acknowledge that Raven has likely changed by the time she has stopped her NSFW posts. Me assuming that she has not is my fault entirely. My emotions got the better of me, which I know I shouldn't have let happen. I have been attempting to get help for this, as I understand it is a problem. Even before this, I have been attempting to get help for it. I can relate to Raven's feelings in being asexual, as I myself am also asexual and also sex repulsed.

With Leona, there are two posts in particular that stood out to me. One was where Leona and Ferana's wife have an affair, and another where all of Savanaclaw are in heat and she specifically says "Leona would order Ruggie to lure the herbivore into the lion's den. Instead of paying him in Mandol, Leona will offer to let Ruggie have his leftovers. Come will be leaking out of MC's abused holes by the time they're both through with them."

Perhaps it’s just me being too progressive and this is my opinion—I personally think that it sorta normalizes that “POC / black men are sexually aggressive” smut trope because that trope itself has real life consequences which isn’t Raven’s intention necessarily.

I understand not everyone will find this behavior weird, however I did which is why I reacted the way I did. I know I could have had a much better reaction instead of the one I did, which I am sorry for.

And about the “deleting screenshots”, I did however I was deleting the screenshots showing her whole nsfw section — And I felt like the doc itself should be about the whole Discord Server instead of the nsfw section so that’s the reason I deleted the screenshots off of it.

I'm now going to talk about the discord server.

I have a friend who is in this discord server. She personally saw the fact that users could choose their role, specifically their age. Very recently, it was changed so you have to get authorization to get to the NSFW channel.

(As I’m writing and editing this apology post, I recently found out someone I considered a friend, who said she is in Raven’s discord server, has been telling me lies about it. Originally, I was told that the verification to get access to the nsfw channel was simply by clicking a “yes” or a “no” as confirmation of if you are 18 or not. Later on though, after she mistakenly forgot to sensor the date the screenshot was taken, which then revealed that they were lying to me. Honestly as I’m typing this edited version of the post, I feel so stupid in believing in them, as it added to me hating on Raven more then I should have and getting the wrong impression of her overall.

I have the personal view that if you have NSFW on a server, minors should not be in it. It is very easy for a minor to lie about their age, and yes this can also happen in a completely 18+ server too. However | am under the personal belief that the NSFW channel shouldn't have been added in the first place due to the fact that there are minors (13-17 years olds) in the server.

I want to make it clear I do not expect Raven to forgive me. I know what I did was not okay, and I should have reacted more maturely. However, as of this moment, past, present, and likely for an unknown amount of time in the future, I know I will have trouble reacting as maturely as I should. My emotions aren't entirely stable, and the same can go with my mental health. I know these reasons are not going to excuse my actions. And my lack of ability to communicate the way I want to won't do me any good either. I have a long way to go before I get to the level of mental stability I want to get to, and I have been getting therapy to get there. However the amount of time I will need to get better is unknown.

All of these reasons have forced me into the conclusion that I will not be posting anymore. I will not be posting, but I will remain on the platform and continue to interact with the friends I have made currently.

It's not just these reasons that made me decide this, but it is the racist comments I've been receiving from Raven's fans. I've been insulted and even called a racial slur, and one even called me Indian when I am indigenous. Some of you may be wondering where they are, and I have been deleting them in my inboxes. These hurtful comments aren't the reason I've decided to make this post though, but it is the help of my friends that have helped me understand what I did wrong that made me realize I wasn't in the right to make the hurtful comments I did, even if my views are still there due to my own opinions. I'll likely keep Raven blocked, as I've decided it'd be best for me.

Happy Birthday Silver Vanrouge!! 🫶

Here’s the previous art I’ve made

People will look at me weirdly and say that I don’t like Raven at the writing desk because she wrote CNC / Rape Epel X Vil / Rook smut cause god forbid that I don’t like a white woman— I don’t feel comfortable of my trauma being treated like that. (rape and p-dophila)

Or I don’t wanna support someone who treated me like I was dumb for not knowing copyright laws (even though I am aware of how strict they are) ESPECIALLY regarding me talking about how JP fans are forcing everyone to follow their own specific copyright laws (Cough Cough, Hanafubuki)

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Silver is here and I find it cute how Lilia & Silver have the same pose (father and son) 🫶