The unmarried wife
Last night, we attended a bridal shower together with our son. I canât help but think why everyone is getting married and yet until now I am not. Lots of things are running into my mind while looking to the future grooms and brides. I asked myself if these couples are really ready? If they really love each other? If theyâre willing to give up and sacrifice everything for their partner? Then I realized, maybe they really are. They would not asked their partners to get married if not. Then I looked and asked my partner âwhat do you think they are feeling right now? Maybe theyâre all so excited and so happyâ and I got no answer from him.
Sometimes, I wonder why God gave me someone who still not yet over with his past. I wonder how can I marry someone who didnât even imagine his life with me, who never planned his future with me, who can never be loyal and faithful with me, who never feels proud of having me,never sees me as the most beautiful girl in his life, never loved me as much as I love him. Sometimes, I wanna ask God if he is really the one for me? If he is the right one for me?
Iâve been hurt for so many times, been fooled and played and left for no reason. Still, I am here praying and hoping that one day someone will come along wipe my tears away and will love me. He will just love me. And yes, until now I am with that person who keeps on hurting and breaking me and until now I dont know why I am staying.
Love and life is truly ironic. God knows iâm longing for love so He gave me my son. I donât know His plans for me but I believe itâs always the best. But sadly I donât believe in marriage now. đ


















