“Philosophy is the highest music.”

First, yes, fear is a big part of feeling when it comes with relations with others. You are afraid to try, afraid to give yourself to another, afraid that you will be happy only to have it one day taken away. But, that is the point, isn't it? Isn't that fear a wonderful thing? The fact that you even tried is great. Because, if you don't even try to conquer those fears, you will never know what you could have had or what might have been, or worse, you will have become a self-fulfilling prophecy and destroyed what could have been amazing. 

Second, don't EVER expect someone to save you, or to fix you, or go into a relationship thinking you can fix or save the other person. If you do, you are destined to fail right away. The cool thing about my relationship was that we both knew that we had our own shit to deal with. I knew that he had things that only he could deal with, and he knew that I had things that only I could deal with. And that was cool. But, the thing that he failed to understand was, the fact that I wanted to be there for him if he ever needed anything was not the same as me wanting to turn him into, what he called, a "project." I would never have done something for him that was too much for me, and I expected the same from him. It is a really tricky line to balance on, respecting the powers of an individual and that of a bond. But, that distinction must be made in order to work well with another.

The last thing I want to address in this post are the quotes that concern themselves with saying they wish that they never met the person that caused them so much pain. This is complete and utter bullshit. Yes, it does fucking suck that you got hurt and that it might take a long time to heal from that hurt and the memories. But, to say that you would rather not have experienced what you learned from the person that you grew to have feelings for/love.... it's idiotic bullshit. What people should be making quotes on is how much it hurt to let go, but how grateful he/she was to have met that person, to have experienced the good and the bad, and to have learned from all of it. To hate or to regret only causes malice and acid veins. If one really wants to move on, to heal and grow strong, then one has to let go. One has to get past all the emotions that cloud and distort truth.

Jade and I ended on very bad terms. We still talk from time to time, and he cannot seem to let go. To be honest, I find it really hard to let go as well, but I know that it is best for me to move on. I am not a hypocrite with the analysis that I made above. I understand where people are coming from-- the wanting to be angry, hurt, and full of despair at having trust broken. I've wanted to feel all of that, and I allowed myself to for a short while. But I know in my heart that I deserve more than to wallow. He deserves more than my hatred. I will always love him in a way that I will never love another, but there is always room to let another in. There is always strength to give oneself again. There is always wit, beauty, and life within yourself and others, and that is more meaningful and worth more than all of these silly love quotes we seem so attracted to.