𝓑𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 Pt. 2
𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: Cameron Cade x black!fem!reader
𝓢𝔂𝓷𝓸𝓹𝓼𝓲𝓼: In which after the house party you're feeling down in the dumps. So you make the choice to avoid Cameron all together, which little did you know, would be harder than you thought.
You walk inside your apartment and slam the door behind you. Your heart was still pounding inside your chest. Meanwhile the little voice in the back of your head wasn't giving you any peace.
Stupid piece of shit. Why the fuck would you do this?
You felt sick. Your stomach was churning and your breathing was shallow. The thoughts in your head were getting louder and louder. Nothing could stop your tears. You couldn't get the image of Cameron and Bianca out of your head.
You're so fuckin pathetic. You really thought he'd want you?
Throwing off your shoes, you rush to the bathroom. Turning on the lights you look at yourself in the mirror. You wipe at your eyes and take a long look at your tear-stained puffy face.
Bianca was gorgeous. Shit, more gorgeous than you. Of course he'd want her and not you.
You stared at your tear-stained face. Feeling these thoughts eat you alive. As ashamed as you felt, you had a mini voice in your head that did nothing but criticize and berate you. It was a shitty feeling, but it only occurred when your feelings were severely hurt. Even when you tried to ignore it, that only made the voice louder. It was especially loud when you let thoughts simmer in your head for too long.
Well, that gave you the answer as to why Cameron had been so distant. It explained why you stopped seeing him around campus, why he had to cancel dates and meetups, why he had gotten so busy all of a sudden.
You started thinking back to college, and the Cameron Cade you remembered and missed.
You told yourself that he was just focusing on his studies and football. It was no secret Cameron Cade was obsessed with football. He took immense pride in his football reputation. He was the star quarterback that everyone adored and envied. Men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him.
You were absolutely one of those women.
Which is why it was such a shock to you in your junior year of college. In your calculus class, you had accidentally showed up late. You didn't have time to process your initial embarrassment, because your professor was directing you towards your seat. The classroom seating arrangement was different than your other classes, in it, desks were paired in twos. And you were coincidentally sat next to the last person you expected to be.
Cameron Cade.
When you approached the empty desk next to his, he glanced up at you and you got your very first real look at his face. He gave you a warm, welcoming smile as you nervously sat down beside him. You had already heard plenty about Cameron, but you never actually met him, and God he was handsome. You smiled back, and tried to get yourself situated. As class went on, you sometimes caught Cam looking at you out of the corner of your eye. You tried to ignore it, but you could literally feel him staring. By the time class ended, and you two got up to leave, he finally said something.
"You got really nice handwriting." He told you, he'd noticed your open notebook as you packed up. "I'mma need to know where you learned to do that." He flashed another toothy grin at you.
"Oh, th-thank you." you stutter, feeling heat rise in your face. "I um, it took me a while to work on my handwriting, I actually used to write pretty sloppily." You mentally scold yourself for your demeanor.
“Well you definitely got the hang of it. It’s nice and neat.” he answered not noticing your nervousness.
He then held out his hand towards you.
“I know teach already told you my name, but allow me to reintroduce myself. I’m Cameron. Cameron Cade. But my friends call me Cam.” he says winking at you with another smile.
You smile back and shake his hand.
“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you Cam.” you replied, trying to keep your composure. Not believing that the most popular boy in school was actually talking to you.
“Y/N, I like that. Well, looks like we gonna be desk mates for the semester. I’mma give you fair warning, I ain’t exactly that good at math, so I hope you is, cause I’mma be askin’ questions.” He stated proudly.
You feel a small wave of dread wash over you. You were barely good at math, having mostly gotten Bs and Cs throughout high school. But, you had a good math tutor that helped you in your freshman year, and you were slowly improving.
So maybe you could help Cam when he needed you.
“Yeah, I’d be happy to help you Cam.”
You finally managed to snap yourself out of your thoughts and stared at yourself in the mirror.
God you look so stupid. Shut up.
The voice quieted down as you grounded yourself.
To take your mind off things, you started your daily night routine.
You removed your clothes and stepped in the shower. After stepping out, you applied lotion, deodorant and powder. Then you started digging through your drawers for pajamas. You settled on a large graphic tee and shorts. Putting on your bonnet you climbed into bed.
The thoughts of Cameron were still there, but not as persistent. But there was an urge in your head that was becoming hard to ignore.
Grabbing your phone, you opened instagram and you went to his page. There, you were confronted with not only pictures of Cam, but also plenty of pictures of him with Bianca. You then made your way to her account, and were met with the same thing.
You felt a shattering feeling of insecurity and disappointment setting inside you. Damn near tearing up again, you turned your phone off. You asked yourself the crippling question.
Why her? Why not me?
The possible answers were swirling around in your head. Each one making you feel worse and worse. You didn’t want to think anymore.
You shut your eyes and lay down. The silence in your room is deafening, but also comforting. Eventually plunging you into a deep sleep.
Cameron Cade was the last person you wanted to see or think about right now.
The next morning, you woke up with a headache. You let out a low groan as you pull yourself up out of bed.
After going to the bathroom to take aspirin, you return to grab your phone.
Turning it on, you're greeted by countless notifications from last night.
'Jas 🩷' - (12) Missed Calls, (4) Voicemails
"Y/N this is my fifth time calling you will you please fucking pick up! Where the fuck are you!!??"
Even though you roll your eyes, deep inside you appreciate the fact that Jas was getting so worked up. To you, it showed she truly cared about your well-being.
You simply shoot her a text back letting her know you made it home safely and fell asleep.
Heading into the kitchen, you prepare a bowl of cereal, aiming for a particularly light breakfast. You figured eating would help your headache go away. If you were being honest, anything would help take your mind off of everything.
You plop down on the couch and turn the TV on. Scrolling through Netflix struggling to make up your mind, you finally settle on "Scandal". Deciding today would be a good day to catch up on the seasons you missed.
But, halfway through your episode, you hear keys jingling and the door unlocking.
Jasmine damn near swung the front door open and slammed it behind her. You turn your head towards her and take in her appearance. Knowing Jas full well by now, you already knew she had come from Asonte's place, considering she always had a certain look when she did. Her face was a weird mix of irritation and relief. Clearly she was pissed you never called her back, but she was also glad you were safe.
"Y/N Y/L/N, what the fuck!?" she snapped, waving her hands up in the air. "Why weren't you answering your phone!?"
"I ain't feel like talking to anyone." you answered calmly, turning back toward the TV. "Wasn't in the mood."
"Yeah a'ight, talkin' bout some you wasn't in the mood. Bitch you had me runnin' all over that house lookin' for you! I'm sittin' here worried fuckin' sick about you!" she yelled exasperated, you could see how worked up she was getting.
Deep down you were enjoying it. You look back up at her with a stoic face.
"You were so worried? You and Asonte ditched me first, and after I left, you went back to his place and spent the night." you replied, your tone calm but sarcastic. You felt it was necessary to hold Jas accountable for her actions as well.
You watch Jas' face twitch, your words clearly hitting a nerve. She couldn't even snap back at you because it was technically true.
"Listen, whatever with that." she said, flicking her hand. "What the hell happened last night? Where the hell were you and why'd you leave up out the party like that?"
You tense up slightly, not wanting to revisit the subject. But you knew Jas, the girl was annoyingly persistent. Knowing nothing would be resolved unless you answered her, you let it all out.
"You act like you don't even know." you snapped, looking back towards her with an irritated look. "I bet everybody fuckin' knows at this point."
"What are you talking about? What do I already know?" Jas asked, sounding genuinely confused.
With that, you dropped your calm demeanor.
"Oh for fuck's sake! Cameron has a girlfriend Jasmine!" you yelled, all of your emotions boiling over. "He got a girlfriend and I fuckin' met her! He introduced us and I had to shake her hand!"
You're breathing heavily again, you feel your palms start to sweat. You feel the nagging headache start to creep back in.
"I-I, I was so fucking embarrassed, I couldn't even look at them. To be put in that position was so embarrassing and I just needed to leave. I went looking for you and Asonte but neither of you were there. Then when I went back to the kitchen they was right there, making out in front of everyone!"
Getting more and more worked up, tears welling in your eyes, it's too much and you bury your face in your hands.
"It's my fucking fault. Why did I do this to myself. I had plenty of time to tell him how I felt, but I never did." you say lowly but loud enough for Jas to hear. "If I did, I wouldn't be here, crying over him. And she was pretty Jas, like really fucking pretty. Of course he'd want a girl like her."
You kept your face in your hands as your tears fell. Feeling the weight of your emotions start to crush you. Hoping you can tune out the world and not think for a second. Then right beside you, you feel Jasmine sit down. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you close. You instantly embrace her, and she starts rubbing circles on your back.
"Y/N, look at me" she finally says, letting you go and cupping your chin to make you look up at her, her face was stern and serious.
"None of this shit is your fault, do you understand me? Whatever the hell Cam has goin on with her got nothing to do with you. You're not an embarrassment, and you did nothing wrong. Bae I'm so sorry that you feel this way. But I need you know, you don’t got shit to be ashamed about. You are the most beautiful, kind, caring and loving woman I have ever met. And any man would be so fucking lucky to have you, I know I am.”
You take in Jas’ words, and despite your tears you feel your smile. Seeing you smile makes her smile back.
“I know you really liked him babe. But just because he got a girl don’t mean the world is gonna end. And I know you’re in your feelings about him and his girl. But you need to understand, her status and beauty doesn’t diminish your worth. You have so many qualities that make you an amazing person. You work and take care of yourself, and you should be proud of that. Don’t let another nigga’s joy make you miserable, and who knows, you might find someone else!”
You take in her words, and they start to warm your heart. You look at Jasmine, wondering how the hell you guys made it through so much together, and how you both managed to stay together over the years. But the answer was obvious, she loved you and was your ride or die, and you were hers. You loved her so much, and she often found ways to remind you.
You sniffed and wiped away a tear but still smiled. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.” you mumbled.
Jas cupped your face and kissed your forehead.
"You were always there for me Y/N. So I'mma be here for you." she replies, wiping away your remaining tears. You lean back into her hug and bury your face in her neck.
"Honestly bae, you should really put this Cameron Cade bullshit behind you so we can move forward. I hate seeing you sit here and cry over a man. For all you know he's probably not even worth it." she says, her voice slightly muffled by your bonnet.
You gave yourself a moment to really think of what she said. And you came to the realization that everything Jas said was true. Was a man really worth all this anxiety and heartbreak?
Absolutely not.
"You know what Jas, you're right. About Cam, Bianca, and everything." you say, slowly pulling back your demeanor suddenly. The weight that had been pressing down on your chest for the last twelve hours finally begins to lift, replaced by a strange, sharp sense of clarity. You take a long, steadying breath, feeling the last remnants of your frantic tears cool against your cheeks.
"Gurl, you damn right I'm right, I can't remember a time I was goddamn wrong." she replied confidently with a smug smile.
You give her a playful glare.
"Jas-" you started to correct her.
"Don't you say it bitch." she shuts you down pointing her finger in your face. You playfully push it away as you start laughing.
"I’m done," you state firmly, your voice finally steady. "I’ve spent so much time replaying it, wondering what I did wrong or what I could have changed, but it’s over. He made his choice, and I’m making mine—which is to stop letting him take up space in my head."
You stand up from the couch, with your empty cereal bowl in hand and head towards the kitchen. Shaking off the remnants of the pity party. The ache is still there, lingering in the back of your throat, but the crushing sense of inadequacy is fading. You look at Jasmine, who is watching you with a hopeful, knowing smile, and you realize she’s right. You have a life to live, a job to do, and friends who actually show up for you.
"Oooouu yeah girl, I like that." Jas said as she snapped her fingers and stood up. "I gotchu boo, whatever you need."
Putting your dishes in the sink, you then turn towards Jas with a smirk, an amazing idea formed in your head.
"Let's get out of here," you say, reaching for your phone and tossing it face-down onto the counter. "I’m not spending the rest of my weekend mourning a 'what if.' Let’s go get something to eat, or go shopping, shit literally anything else."
"I'm down for whatever bae! But first, I gotta shower. I ain't exactly smelling my best right now." she smells her underarms and makes a dramatic disgusted face, making you burst into laughter. She turns on her heels towards the bathroom and you follow behind,
"Yeah so you can wash off the smell of dick." you muttered, but she heard you and wasn't pleased.
With a shocked and offended look, she instantly grabs a pillow and beats you with it.
"Shut yo' bitch ass up!!" she hollered while assaulting you with the pillow and you're helpless to defend yourself.
When she finally stops you two exchange "I love yous" and she heads into the bathroom.
You sat on the couch feeling weirdly triumphant. The reality of her words finally settled in. Whatever happened between you and Cam was no longer a huge deal. His relationship with Bianca was none of your concern. You could sit alone in your room and berate yourself and blame everyone else for you being too shy to tell him how you really felt, but that wasn't gonna help you or heal your heartbreak. The only thing for you to do now, was to accept the news and move on. For the sake of your mental and emotional well being. In the end, you figured it was best to just fully avoid Cam from now on. You couldn't bring yourself to care about Cameron Cade or his girlfriend.
Fuck Her and Fuck Him.
*Later that night*
You and Jas were cozy on the couch as you both caught up on rest from your day out earlier. And as usual, Jasmine had fallen asleep to the true crime documentary you were watching.
You were immersed in the TV, but your focus was broken when your phone pinged.
Grabbing it to check, you see a notification from Instagram.
Unlocking the phone and going to the app and checking your inbox, you felt your heart drop to your stomach.
"CameronCade started following you"
"CameronCade messaged you"
Nervously making your way to "messages" you see that Cam had indeed, followed and DM'd you. This can't be real. You even double checked to make sure it was his account, and it was. You carefully read the message he sent.
"Yo' what's up? How you doin?"
"Where you been lately? Where'd you go last night?"
You felt a deep rumble in your gut as you read the messages over and over. None of it made sense.
How the hell did Cam find you on Ig? Not even all your coworkers knew you had Ig.
More importantly, why the hell is he DMing you?
This had to mean something, you had so many questions and you didn't have the mental capacity to figure them out. You turned your phone off and tossed it down. Effectively leaving Cam on read.
Maybe you'd text him back, maybe you wouldn't. You leaned back into the couch as you only had one question screaming in your head.
WHAT THE FUCK???
To Be Continued....
Ohh Lord this was exhausting, but fun to write! I'mma be real, I thought of half this shit off the top of my head lmao. We're gonna be entering some testy, juicy, drama filled waters soon, so buckle up! Also, sorry if this took a little long, I lowkey developed some writer's block. HOPEFULLY, that doesn't happen again cause I really enjoy writing! But anyway, thank you so much for reading! And if you wanna be added to the taglist just lmk in the comments! 💝
Taglist:
@freshbonggwater @real-lebanese @the1miscief @lunarexperttrace @aureliareadsss @plan3tch1ld @k0niiii-blog @queueszaaa @witherswife @yourleogf @3w0uii @pinktrappy @jaden1738 @valentinaaaapple @viberator111 @jayvanche @angelgetsit @melinatedlifeline
