first of all cringe, second of all red flag

[image: a stock photo of a man sitting in an office, frowning as he looks from his phone to his computer screen. the image is captioned with a headline that reads: "Study: 97% of Average American's Day Spent Retrieving 6-Digit Codes."]

Look, I get what you're saying, but sometimes you've gotta reach for the low-hanging fruit. Let's get you a proper meal, refill your meds, and unfuck your living space as best we're able; if after that you still want cute girls to kill you with axes, you'll be in a much better physical and mental place to pursue that goal.

“besides, I have a sister.” top contender for one liner that makes me so emotional

speaking of hedging, one criticism i always hate that's often levelled against people doing media criticism or analysis is variations on "oh they think all their opinions are correct" yeah i'd hope so--don't understand why someone would hold an opinion they think is wrong! i hate the culture of endlessly qualifying everything you say to mollify an interlocutor who feels like your strongly held opinion is an imposition on their free will and i think nobody ought to bend to it. make your criticisms and points with your fucking chest. if you think you need my permission to disagree with me then you will die my thrall and be buried in my tomb

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

is it possible to fix my life but still be weird abt books tv film & music forever? i will attempt it

I don't believe him.

I think strange horrible things should stop befalling my friends

I think strange wonderful things should start befalling my friends

captioning "i know they were drawing this with one hand 😂😂" under a plein aire landscape painting of a rushing river flowing between two lush green mountains under a burbling stormy sky

[image: fanart of Teela and Adam (in his He-Man form) from Masters of the Universe (2026). Teela puts a hand on Adam's shoulder and says, "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Adam." Adam says, "Damn..."]

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.