first of all cringe, second of all red flag

my treasurer: president. i come bearing news.

me: what is it. out with it.

my treasurer: the principal's inquiry continues. he has yet to be deterred.

me: foolish old man. no matter. he will not find anything worth finding.

my treasurer: yes.. well.. that.. girl.. continues to be a thorn in our side as well..

me: [turning dramatically] that GIRL? you mean to tell me she hasn't been dealt with?

my treasurer: [sweating a little, pushing her glasses up] no, president. she proves to be very elusive..

me: tch.. i suppose i will have to deal with her myself. i hate to get my hands dirty, but this situation calls for drastic measures.

my treasurer: drastic.. measures..?

me: yes. i will kiss her on the mouth passionately and then proclaim my love for her. we will be girlfriends and raise cattle in a small village in the east away from the pressures and struggle of contemporary life. this is the way.

my treasurer: president, what the fu-

my vice president: DO NOT QUESTION HER WILL.

my treasurer: r-right.. of course. my apologies president.

me: hmph. useless. [stomps off with my fists balled dramatically]

my treasurer: that was totally weird though right? like what was with the cattle thing

my vice president: dude you know shes like crazy right

my treasurer: well okay. YEAH. but.

my vice president: beats chess club

my treasurer: thats true. plus this looks great on my transcript

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

In the meantime the kingdom has been operating as a stewardship. there is an empty throne with the memory of an unimpeachably Good King, and a government of civil employees who sprang out of the palace staff immediately after the good kings demise. this government has been managing the kingdom with the express goal of making sure the king is able to return to a kingdom that has been well cared for in his absence.

and you know, it's been 200 years. this is just the government now. people talk about the good king in an archetypal sense, the way people talk about the constitution. "We can't do this, we can't do that, it wouldnt abide by the spirit of the good king's decrees," that sort of thing.

There's a democratic process, there's an electoral system, there's civil service departments. There's been a lot of development in considering the spirit of what it means to act on behalf of the good king. there's been a series of factions over the years interpreting this differently. people bemoan and bicker about the flaws of the kingdom constantly like "you know it wouldn't be Like This if the good king was here" no matter what *This* is.

And Then The Good King Returns.

What do you do?

There's no way to make this work. There's no way to do this. you've hashed out all these compromises and rules and rights over two hundred years of legal bickering. what happens if the good king disagrees with the consensus interpetation? what if the good king takes the throne and resumes the absolute monarchy and then possibly passes that monarchy on to an heir, who perhaps won't be a good king?

you thought this guy was mythical or at best long dead and heavily mythologized, and now he's standing here causing problems. you're looking around at everybody else you know like look. You seem like a genuinely really good dude. However.

However.

Wouldn't it be easier - wouldn't it be better for everyone - wouldn't it be most in the spirit of the good king if here and now you all make one quiet and terrible choice. and take up your long knives.

Please remember

1) These are kids

2) This is a game

3) Coaches are volunteers

4) Umpires are human

5) You do not play professional baseball

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is