first of all cringe, second of all red flag

sometimes you invent mind prisons for yourself for no good reason and youre like "i really like being in the mind prison" even though you dont actually like being in the mind prison

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from armory-rasa reading: And if you rate it anything less than five stars they're like "Do you need us to kill the clerk who checked you out? Your satisfaction is our top priority. Just so the word and he's a dead man. :)" /End ID]

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

what do you mean you dont want to buy my $55 dollar unsanded unpainted 3d printed dragon or my $102 resin triangle with sparkles and dungeons and dragons dice in it i worked really hard to make sure these end up in a landfill in exactly 6 months if u dont buy it now ill have to take it to the dump today

pirate everything you can from the internet. be happy. live love laugh

they should invent a sleep schedule. any at all

have you noticed that everything depends on various factors

i love how shen qingqiu and shang qinghua completely shift genres when they see each other and like. they aren’t even subtle about it. you’re at a cang qiong mountain party talking with the grave and dignified qing jing peak lord, and he glances over your shoulder and frowns very slightly and says “this shen has some sudden urgent matters he must attend to; he begs your distinguished selves’ forgiveness.” and he glides over as gracefully as an immortal to where the an ding peak lord has just shown up, and he picks shang qinghua up in a fireman’s carry and drags him to the corner where they start whisper-yelling things like “good fucking work ‘great master’ i hope you’re proud of yourself” and “come ONNN bro what would you do in my position?” and shen qingqiu fully starts curbstomping shang qinghua. and you go over to see if everything is all right and as you approach shen qingqiu spins around, full 180°, and by the time he gets to degree 180 he’s completely flipped back into the dignified and distinguished immortal master shen who is so far removed from the petty passions of humanity. shang qinghua starts trying to army crawl away and shen qingqiu plants his foot on the corner of his robe without looking. not even luo binghe gets this kind of fucked up treatment

probably the worst attitude tumblr unintentionally cultivates is "the world out there is completely dangerous for you and no one can possibly understand you, so you should isolate yourself from it and avoid interacting with it as much as possible"

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[image description: Picture of a pop up that says "Allow Peggle Blast to make and manage phone calls? Deny Allow." This is posted as a tweet with the poster @ awsomonster commenting you "know what, sure, peggle make phone calls who gives a shit anymore." /end id.]

It is thursday morning. Visualize yourself as the marble, the chisel, and the untrained sculpter who just tried methamphetamine