first of all cringe, second of all red flag

Apologizing to his tenant for circumstances that were beyond his control, local landlord Eddie Turley was reportedly forced Monday to raise the rent due to thinking of a bigger number. “You can re-sign your lease, but I have to raise it by $250 a month because I realized there was a bigger number your rent could be,” Turley informed his tenant of six years, attributing the rent increase to a need to keep up with the rising numbers he could envision.

my treasurer: president. i come bearing news.

me: what is it. out with it.

my treasurer: the principal's inquiry continues. he has yet to be deterred.

me: foolish old man. no matter. he will not find anything worth finding.

my treasurer: yes.. well.. that.. girl.. continues to be a thorn in our side as well..

me: [turning dramatically] that GIRL? you mean to tell me she hasn't been dealt with?

my treasurer: [sweating a little, pushing her glasses up] no, president. she proves to be very elusive..

me: tch.. i suppose i will have to deal with her myself. i hate to get my hands dirty, but this situation calls for drastic measures.

my treasurer: drastic.. measures..?

me: yes. i will kiss her on the mouth passionately and then proclaim my love for her. we will be girlfriends and raise cattle in a small village in the east away from the pressures and struggle of contemporary life. this is the way.

my treasurer: president, what the fu-

my vice president: DO NOT QUESTION HER WILL.

my treasurer: r-right.. of course. my apologies president.

me: hmph. useless. [stomps off with my fists balled dramatically]

my treasurer: that was totally weird though right? like what was with the cattle thing

my vice president: dude you know shes like crazy right

my treasurer: well okay. YEAH. but.

my vice president: beats chess club

my treasurer: thats true. plus this looks great on my transcript