first of all cringe, second of all red flag

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

is it possible to fix my life but still be weird abt books tv film & music forever? i will attempt it

I don't believe him.

I think strange horrible things should stop befalling my friends

I think strange wonderful things should start befalling my friends

captioning "i know they were drawing this with one hand 😂😂" under a plein aire landscape painting of a rushing river flowing between two lush green mountains under a burbling stormy sky

[image: fanart of Teela and Adam (in his He-Man form) from Masters of the Universe (2026). Teela puts a hand on Adam's shoulder and says, "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Adam." Adam says, "Damn..."]

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

💭im a hussarrr im a hun im a wretched englishman☝️routing bonaparte at waterloo. im a dragoooon on a dun, im a cossack on the run im a horse🐎 soldier🐎 timeless🐎 through 🐎and 🐎through🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

before there was Online there was lying on the floor and studying the patterns of the carpet and tracing it with your finger