first of all cringe, second of all red flag

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

💭im a hussarrr im a hun im a wretched englishman☝️routing bonaparte at waterloo. im a dragoooon on a dun, im a cossack on the run im a horse🐎 soldier🐎 timeless🐎 through 🐎and 🐎through🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

before there was Online there was lying on the floor and studying the patterns of the carpet and tracing it with your finger

[image: a 60-something white man making a tough-guy face at the camera. the image is captioned with a headline that reads: "Landlord Forced To Raise Rent Due To Thinking Of Bigger Number."]

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

i have no idea what you're talking about when you reference all those movies. i love you

Never trust a furry disliker

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: im not a furry but i get more defensive of them as time wears on /End ID]

you can do a lot of good with a simple "hey that was fucked up, that shouldn't have happened to you"