What Are You, Autistic!? (SATIRE)

"Funny, you didn't LOOK autistic."

"EDFGHDFGJ"

"Why don't you make eye contact?"

"..."

“You have ASPERGERS!?"

"Yes. I was diagnosed young."

"But, I've heard people with Aspergers are so rude, unbecoming, they don’t consider how others feel! They lack social skills too! They can't keep any inappropriate comments inside their head! And you seem to be really cool!”

You might want to be aware of the following: Compulsive routine behaviors such as efficiently organizing your entire room while you're combing your hair in the adjacent bathroom. It may startle you into a coma once you return, but you're more likely to realize they did a really good job before that.

"I'm surveying numerous people. How do you celebrate your autism?"

"I make dinner."

"I like it when people clap while I dance...so that's what I do..."

When an Aspie visits a psychiatrist.

"In the past you have appeared very anxious. Maybe you'd like anti anxiety medicine."

"And now, the past is in the past. I'm glad to have recovered."

"In my experience, the past predicts the future."

"Aw, doc, turn that frown upside down!"

"Come on now, dude."

"Autism? Don't you think it's time to stop making EXCUSES for why you're not functioning in the real world?"

"You'll never get a job in the real world..."

"You have Asperger Syndrome? I never would've known!"

"Rain Man had autism too....... how long did it take you to learn to become like him??"

You know, next time you shouldn't ask me my opinion on your outfit. Maybe you wouldn't be so embarrassed if I decide to give you my honest opinion.

"I'm trying to learn about autism. I know autism does not mean you're stupid...uhhh...right...?"

I saw this on the internet. As a psychology major, I have to say, sometimes it really is a confusing line.

A psychiatrist takes my money A psychologist takes my money And a psychopath is probably going to take my money

In the end, the only difference is that you're the one getting the diagnosis.

There's a new page in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Made-up Disorders!! (I wrote it in with magic marker!!!!)

It's called "Asphole Syndrome"!

Or, simply, being an ASPHOLE!

It's when you say you have Asperger Syndrome and exploit the name of an often misrepresented/oft discriminated group of generally peaceful intellectuals in order to be an ASSHOLE!