areté

#fbf to just less than two years ago, at areté’s first outing: the @discodiningclub that led me thread by thread to my amazing LA community of artists, queer and straight. i met @bunny_witch, who helped me with some of the first images i posted of this version of myself, and @nicoalcala, who later gave me my first experience of performing as just a voice - to blindfolded dinner guests. it was an adventure with nico that led to @thepartybyostbahnhof (RIP) and so many of the collaborations and friendships i treasure. in many ways this photo marks areté’s visual birth, which is important for me to return to and embrace as time races towards the release of my first single on the 14th 😝 (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsOIFqDlWox/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1n20sr4ghy6rc

celebrating the end of 2018 as an angel of chaos at the death of the @thepartybyostbahnhof // dancing through the beginning of 2019 by announcing the release of my first ever single TRIP, coming for you on january 14. i got an itching to begin.... 🧨🙃🚀 (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHx0krFUN5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ud5l7o1dd10h

in 2018 i tripped by myself to the island of coney and with my community to the trees of joshua and with my collaborators to the height of a stage and even higher up stairs made of bodies into the sky and i fell down rabbit hole after hole as deep underground as i’ve gone in a while so i called on the powers of fire and water and earth and air and i held zi in my lap and wrapped my wings around me and i stood at the edge of the land and stared into the void of the sea and made up words and sang them thank you to everyone i touched worlds with in 2018: my fellow travelers and to myself for making choices i never made before. so hey 2019: let’s fucking play 🦊🙃🔮 (at Coney Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsFgKcqlK-2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cgjdscdcdtfr

@austin_danson, here is your spell. i challenge you to carry it out in full. (at Surreal World) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsC9AF6l7ZV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fvx1pc77fpnj

funeral of flowers tear it all up tear it all down light the pictures on fire burn the house to the ground it keeps on extending we’re losing our touch throw a funeral of flowers you haven’t missed much there’s so many of us craving to be plucked and trussed and dressed there’s a grasping for survival and a suicide request and the singing on the jukebox tells us we can be the best but the need for support’s hailing battering our empty breasts photog @photoplatitudes mua @tanyperfect (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br9qqm7lIkC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c7ob9qow8zlu

FROZEN VAGABOND (first collage i’ve ever made + beginning of lyric inspired by image) can’t latch on i’m cut all to shreds scared to make decisions and end up poor or dead there’s wax on the floor and ash on the bed don’t know where i’m going so how can i move from here in the nightmare i keep having i am paralyzed by fear and i know if i could wake up that my body would respond but i’m stuck inside this limbo i’m a frozen vagabond yeah i’m stuck inside this limbo i’m a frozen vagabond missed my chance dragging through dust betting my life now destroying must but we’re natural predators and i’m remedial at trust don’t know where i’m going so how can i move from here in the nightmare i keep having i am paralyzed by fear and i know if i could wake up that my body would respond but i’m stuck inside this limbo i’m a frozen vagabond yeah i’m stuck inside this limbo i’m a frozen vagabond https://www.instagram.com/p/Br7H9RWlO9e/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ciwsfanjy4ks

daffodil not mammal: real diamonds aren’t perfect • from my first witch ritual led by @kissedbyloki, where my candle went out and when relit began to burn in three places and faster and harder until it became this puddle of art. (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br4Wd41FbCN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11hflfq2mjold

✨surrender✨ (at FD Photo Studio) https://www.instagram.com/p/Brw3Q3blC0b/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zte4nzub4fre

the cover for my new memoir, “the thin line between enlightenment and delusion” 🤔🤯🥳 (at Hollywood) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrpGPHglvo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=141fs5sy3tk8p

i haven’t been posting for a bit - i’ve been turning in, not wanting to put on the show quite as much - i’ve been writing, and that is a much more private space. but i find myself falling backwards - i suddenly feel scared of sharing my first drafts again - and i am having reaffirmed today by artists and entrepreneurs throughout this city - that it is really about process, and any draft you share moves you to the next draft. so, here’s an old draft of me that i feel compelled to share to start drawing me out of this radio silence - one just in the beginning stages of admitting she wanted to be photographed - one beginning to embrace androgyny - one allowing herself to step into a character halfway between patti smith and jean seberg - one shooting photography with a lover - one playing big in a new way. this was me circa 2015: my cavale days. • photograph by @rick_baer (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrcUeYvFHg-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cgzkrxm8965l

playing a song this thursday at #akbar for @chanelandthecircus’ secret circus charity show, benefiting the @lalgbtcenter’s women’s network. come out, have fun, and do something decent in the world - a solid thursday 😇 (at AKBAR) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq88lbCFdO4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1v7vbaftff7mk

this song is the truest i’ve written so far. i wrote VILLAIN during the kavanaugh hearings—about surviving my own emotionally abusive relationship but also the emotionally abusive relationship we as women and other minorities are all in with this country. i changed as a human over the course of creating this song, and i love singing it to you ✨🔥✨ (at The Satellite) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqvrI5QFjUX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cx4tnoxf6tm1

anna karina meets boy george (at Holyrad Studio) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqt2lFWlFXB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1la32r5dkohd9

⚡️• lights up •⚡️ (at The Satellite) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqoy_oUFFuX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12isf13i33j3g

what i live for 🖤 • thanks to @softer_sex_productions & @thesatellitela for having me last night, to the fabulous @monikafelicesmith @dom.mcdou @ironstonedance @austin_danson @matthewmshores @savvyflicks @aliciaandfisch @kameronbiehl for helping me actualize & document this - and to all of you who came out to celebrate with me!!! now - on to the next - dec 6 @akbar for secret circus. see you there 😘 (at Satellite) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqkwKzFF8-A/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vtltz24p4m8w

first ever poster with my name on it on the bathroom wall of a music venue = happy birthday to me 🥳 tix in that bio ☝️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BqjR6bMFOo4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jietp430z1p8

one year ago on my birthday i had never performed my own music. this year on my birthday i’m playing @thesatellitela, in a fully choreographed set with backup dancers that is the culmination of an extraordinarily transformative year. please come out and celebrate the human capacity for change with me - and just the luck of being born in the damn first place. this friday. doors at 8:30. i’m on at 10:30. let’s have a fucking party. (at The Satellite) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqZVHcxFsM3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hxsxm1g1z4iu