live ardently

I know marvel is like kids movies but I think a rated R (for violence) winterwidow thriller/romance movie would heal me. everything is delivered through flashbacks a la memento (nolan 2000) in between the ptsd, memory wipes, and blackouts from overtraining. winter soldier beating her up in the red room then insisting on being the one to gently patch her back up in the barracks. lowkey toxic codependency. nat whispers about her dreams of escaping together in dark corners where the security cameras don't reach. bucky doesnt say anything. he knows that the Soviets value him too much. maybe nat could get out alone, but if he goes, they will stop at nothing to kill them both. besides, neither has seen or remembered the outside world long enough to know what freedom would look like. nat defects without telling him, taking down the red room with her, but the Soviets keep their hands tight on their prized winter soldier, who is put back under ice for safekeeping.

Sweet dreams

special defense