arky-odd

honestly the funniest thing about the lord of the rings is how gandalf is literally a minor god sent to middle-earth by The Big Man Himself and yet literally nobody apart from the elves seems to recognise this or take him seriously

like yeah gandalf is pretty grumpy most of the time but how would YOU feel if you were the fantasy equivalent of an angel and a bunch of people who only come up to your knee were just like “oh fuck it’s that spooky old wizard” every time you showed up for a friend’s birthday party

enjoy the short term!!! sometimes ur not gonna be friends for 46 years and that’s ok, just enjoy the drive!!! some people aren’t gonna have a significant impact in ur life but not every show is a TedTalk, sometimes u needs some Real Housewives!!’ loosen up, the universe is rearing to explode and if that bix isn’t permanent herself, you’ve got nothing to lose! forever is an illusion

old people who are rude as hell for no reason are the bane of my existence…. like mildred you’re 83 and you still haven’t learned the value of kindness??? whack.

It’s surprising that there are no conspiracy theories about the moon being flat, since we only see half of it.

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

I will never forget the time I asked a little girl how old she was and she said “6 but I’ve been alive like 30 years”

ooh this is a good three sentences