Me and @punkrock-bottom yippieeee :3

Cuddle pile now? Cuddle pile now

so... we may have made something.

have YOU ever thought like this?????? i know WE hate the current plural diagnostics!!!! so! WE MADE OUR OWN!!!!!!!

it's 50 questions long, you can receive a total of 56 points!

it's unfortunately hosted through google forms for now unless we find something better...

we are not doctors, do not take your result as medical advice.

feel free to reblog with your result!

note: if you're a system and got under 60%, let us know! the 60% minimum is based solely off of, like, five non-system takers. we're working on getting a bigger sample size!

(disclaimer: this is what works for us, but everyone is different and as such may have different needs)

⭐️ Punishments, isolation, and jailing do not work. Do not use them.

⭐️ Try to understand why your headmates do the things they do. Research where that behavior comes from, try to note triggers.

⭐️ Be conscientious of each others' triggers (front triggers and other triggers). Try to learn what they are. Never share them with outsiders.

⭐️ Don't try to internalize singlet-style relationship types. You will not fit neatly into boxes of siblings, friends, partners, coworkers, roommates, or lovers. You are headmates.

⭐️ Have individual headspaces AND a collective headspace if you can. You can have houses, doorways, statues, fucking trees, whatever, in a circle in your collective headspace representing your individual headspaces. This way you are all connected, but have your own spaces. Have a collective meeting space in the middle.

⭐️ Try to make sure everyone has a name. Even if it's just "The Blue One". Unless a headmate specifically requests not to have a name, of course.

⭐️ Headmates can communicate in all sorts of ways. Not just words, but images, emotions, internal and external body language. Be open to listen.

⭐️ When looking for a headmate's "age", you are really looking for: emotional maturity, ability to understand complex topics, ability to consent to sex, ability to cope with an adult life, food preferences, communication style, and headspace appearance. It is most often not a literal age.

⭐️ If roles aren't natural, don't seek them.

⭐️ Put clear, honest communication + understanding above rules and everything else.

❤️ Regarding romance: It is a societal construct. Highly likely not to fit your collective needs. Take from it what you want. If it doesn't serve you, let it go.

We've just finished compiling 167 pages(!) of plurality-related asks into an ebook.

Featuring questions like:

Am I plural?

Am I really plural?

Is this experience normal?

Is this experience possible?

How do I figure out who's in my system?

How do I talk to my system?

How do I learn how to switch voluntarily?

How can we deal with system members that want to hurt us?

How do you handle bedtime when people won't stop talking?

How do you handle knowledge differences between system members?

How do you cope with confusion and dissociation making it hard to get things done?

How do we come out to people as plural?

And more!

Let's talk 📣

Headspaces

Did you know that there was a point in time when inner worlds were largely confined to discussions of polyfragmentation and complex MPD?

I've posted before about the experiences of older systems before the internet, and this topic falls into that same boat-- back before maladaptive daydreaming was even a named concept (Eli Somer first wrote about MaDD in 2002).

So, to anyone worried:

Not having an inner world is NORMAL

In fact, for the longest time, it was the norm.

As such, there were techniques used to HELP clients develop an inner world in an attempt to learn to communicate with their alters.

And I'd like to share one of those with you! This technique could be useful to ANYONE still struggling to speak with system members, and gives you a basis from which to build an inner world.

The Round Table Communication Exercise

When I first started my journey, I had no communication with my system. We experienced heavy emotional intrusion from each other, maybe a whisper here or there, but that was it.

My therapist taught me this technique to use during our sessions and while I was going to sleep.

Essentially, you're meditating. Find a quiet place to relax (when going to bed it perfect), close your eyes, and imagine a table.

Start simple, nothing intense. Hold the image of the table in your mind. What is it made from? How many legs does it have? What colour is it? Is there anything on it? Etch this table into your mind. Every inch of it. Commit it to memory.

And now, set chairs at the table. How many are there? Are they the same material as the table? Are they comfortable or hard? Tall backs? Arms? Can you sit in the chair and lean your forearms on the table? Is it comfortable?

Invite others to come sit with you.

Maybe they won't show up the first day, but continue to invite them, continue to imagine that table and the chairs. Note any changes that occur to the table.

Once you're comfortable with the table, familiar with it, slowly look around the room. How many walls? What colour? Is there anything on the walls? What kind of vibe is the room giving you? Is it welcoming and relaxing? If it's not, imagine yourself changing the room. Straighten pictures, paint the walls.

Continue to visit this room and invite others to come talk.

Eventually, someone came to sit at the table with me. As we sat and spoke, I could start to envision his face, his hair, his voice, his clothes, I could hear him telling me his name.

And over time, more people joined us. More chairs appeared, knickknacks were scattered around the room and across the table, doors appeared along the walls.

We created a couch and a TV, to simulate fronting and imagine our interactions together.

Because that's all an inner world is-- an imaginary recreation to represent internal interactions.

There isn't some small pocket in your brain where everyone lives, you're not born with an inner world, it doesn't come free with your first alter's Xbox. An inner world can be as simple as being able to visualize an interaction, or an entire immersive daydream city.

One of my alters is very emotionally reactive, and when he's frustrated, he "flips the table." This visualization is something everyone in the system can see, it's the same feeling each time, and the reactions of each alter can be perfectly visualized as this table flips-- exhausted groans, facepalms, shooshpaps as he's whisked away to his room through one of the doors.

When we're fighting for front, we can see ourselves sitting on the couch in front of the television, fighting over the remote, or if we're co-con we can imagine ourselves sitting together on the couch. Maybe we're cuddled and happy, or maybe we're sitting there awkwardly, a solid inch between us where we refuse to brush arms.

Over time, the couch became bigger, and more of us could sit together, everyone aware of and watching the images on the screen of our life happening in real time. We could talk to each other about choices we were making.

Eventually, we could visualize ourselves talking it out rather than fighting. We were able to slam our hands down on the table before it could be flipped.

These visualizations are our basis of communication.

This is an inner world, even if it's nothing more than a room that I created myself.

I hope this exercise can help others.