kiz.

Many elders try to intimidate or humiliate you in order to feel better about themselves. Supervisors. Aunts. Mothers.

Respect is earned and some of them are undeserving.

Learn the art of knowing when to stay silent and when to speak up for yourself.

Remember when we talked about Law #9 -Win Through Actions, Not Arguments?

Set a boundary & send a reminder: you are not a child even if you’re somebody’s child. You’re an adult, a woman and would be treated no less than. Carry yourself as such.

Learn how to be “nice nasty” (i.e. a professional read)

Master eye contact

Put some bass in your voice. You sound whiny when arguing with “your man”. Practice deepening, lowering and tweaking your voice to adjust your pitch

Never hesitate to walk away in the middle of someone talking.

This post is specifically for my (darkskinned, non racially ambiguous) black women working in corporate settings with condescending Caucasians. Bullies (or narcs) test their victim’s boundaries before attacking them. They’re looking for signs of weakness.

Show them confidence instead

You need to speak up for yourself. Have that “diva” “serious” “bitch”reputation. You’ve earned respect, not cool points.

Life is washing you so you can come out clean and free of filth and debris.

Free of baggage, immaturity and more.

Don't stay stagnant.

Don't let society trap you in.

Stop trying to fit into boxes and aesthetics.

You have the right to change and evolve. You have the right to change your choices in life.

You have the right to change your path.

If we know who we are, we are limited.