nostalgia and screaming

can someone please please please please send me a grilled cheese in the maill I'm so hungry my address is 100 ocean

Fish don't you know better than to dox yourself on the Internet

Stephen King’s Fujo

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

who died and made you the giant rat that makes all of the rules??

i have no memory of making this post

Making a beautiful teeth-themed necklace to wear to my tooth extraction so that the oral surgeon falls hopelessly in unrequited love with me and dies of a broken heart as deliberate punishment for the American Dental Association regularly lobbying against dental care being included in primary insurance. #directaction