april pollock

I loosely say learned, because frankly, I think the better word is “realized” or “learned after getting spanked”, etc.

Also, if you look at this list and go, yeah yeah I learned that when I was like 18...don’t judge my journey! It takes me a while to come around. But when I “get it”, it’s deep, and I want to share with others.

1. I’m obsessed with the enneagram, and I want you to be too. Take the test here and let me know your results! It’s pretty much my favorite topic. Especially the types in marriages. I’m an 8, and Troy is a 1 - so we love chatting with our other 8/1 couple friends. Shouts to Chris and Whitney, and Larry and Kelly! It has helped me understand, lead, and love people I care about so much better. A must!

2. I’m not always right. Shocker. Yes, I still think I am most of the time. I probably still am most of the time. But that is not the point. The point is, I’ve learned there are better ways than mine. Collaboration creates buy-in from others and then the executions of whatever (a party, project, life in general) have so much more life and joy in it. Pastor Jodi taught me to say “you might be right” whenever I want to force my way - and it’s a game changer. 

3. I don’t have to say anything to win. I don’t have to respond to show people my side. I don’t have to reveal my thoughts, convictions, or beliefs. I can, indeed, actually hear or observe something I don’t agree with, and like, just be silent, and walk away, or...just...keep...scrolling. If one of my friends posts something I don’t agree with, I don’t have to be mad at them! I don’t have to divide, convince, conquer. Trust me, my blood still boils when injustice enters my vicinity, but I’m learning to be more gracious instead of chopping heads off (with my words, and RBF). 

4. Becoming obsessed with feedback. So scary at first. Oh man. Wow. Feedback can cut you. But only if you let it. Feedback is the only way to healthy teams, healthy families, healthy lives. You simply don’t know what you don’t know. When you apply feedback from people you trust and care about, you create even more trust, safe spaces, and people gain respect for you. No one likes the “my way or the highway” people. Pastor Craig Groeschel has an amazing podcast on this that you should watch, it’s so much better than how I’m articulating it. Basically, ask for feedback all the time. The more secure you are in your identity, strengths, and weaknesses, the less it will hurt and the less personal you’ll take it. 

5. YOLO. But not in the way you think I mean. I mean, something snapped in me this year. Like, April, YOU *clap* ONLY * clap* LIVE *clap* ONCE *clap*. My eyes were opened and I switched from being earth minded to kingdom minded. Maybe it’s because I grew up poor, but seriously age 0-30 all I wanted was stuff. Stuff stuff stuff. Show show show. Look at all my success. Then, I think with wedding planning, and thinking about being a mom one day...I just came to a place of legacy thinking. We attend a great church that believes in this, but this year, it became mine. I’m all in, I drank the koolade. Now, every decision I (soon to be we) make, I think, how does this affect God’s kingdom? It’s pretty much all I think about right now. Probably because I’m reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn and having the best dreams ever. I fall asleep thinking about eternity, and then wake up energized ready to make the biggest kingdom impact I possibly can in this season. It changes everything. How I lead, love, give, serve...

6. Oh man. I’m so in love with Troy. I’ve learned so much about him this year. He is such an amazing man, it’s unbelievable he’s choosing me. I’ve learned he’s better than me in virtually every area of life (except story telling). This used to crush me. I wanted to win at something! Ugh, always in his shadow. Competing. Being jealous. Some days I still compete. Sometimes, I still feel left out. Sometimes I’m still jealous. But on good days, I get it. I lean into the incredible guy I get to live with, and learn from for the rest of my life. The best days are when I straight up copy all his tips, tricks, and habits and become a better woman day by day. He’s taught me basically everything I know. He’s pulled greatness out of me that I didn’t know I had. He’s showed me how to love like Jesus, how to care, how to be selfless, how to do the hard things (the right things), how to allow God to vindicate, how to use your words to bring life, how to show people you care, how to honor, how to be generous when you want to be stingy, how to run to the back of the line over and over and over and over and how God always makes sure your cup is full when you continue to pour it out. 

I’m sure I’ve learned more, but I’m out of time to post before my birthday. Here’s to year 31!

In full Kylie Jenner fashion, I've realized some things as I turn 30... 

I've realized that being humble is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

I've realized that leadership sucks. Or rather, it's much different than I thought it was. Leading is serving. Taking the heat. Uplifting others. Teaching. Guiding. Listening.

I've realized that although being around others beneath you makes you feel smarter & better, it doesn't actually make you smarter or better.

I've realized the value of listening.

I've realized that I will always be teetering on the cusp of walking out my passions & strengths in confidence & releasing control of the driver's seat to God.

I've realized that a lot of prayer is listening. This goes back to the value of listening.

I've realized that being generous is one of the best things I can do for my health. Being generous in gesture, with my finances, with my words.

I've realized I am a happier person when I give what I want rather than complaining about what I don't have.

I've realized the core of my self-shame was hating attributes I have, that got me into trouble. When I flipped my perspective on them and decided to use my "powers" (gifts) for good & not harm, it opened up the door for improvement! I can confidently say that I love my loud, passionate, competitive, inclusive, driven, confrontational, extroverted personality. Not because all those attributes are positives 100% of the time and people just have to "deal with it", but because God gave me gifts and talents that I get to steward and perfect to glorify Him.

I've realized that I can either show up with my emptiness expecting others to fill me up, or I can show up in God's fullness & give to others. Every time, the choice is mine.

I've realized that wisdom is priceless & I need to spend way more time talking to those ahead of me on this journey & learn from them. Yes, the former know-it-all just said that.

I've realized that I don't deserve anything. Not the breath in my lungs, my limbs, my brain, my job, my friends, my family, etc. Everything in my life is there only by the grace of God & by his mercy, favor, & blessings. I need to thank my Creator more.

I've realized that I totally have time for my priorities. So, if there's something "I don't have time for", it's not a priority. Again, my problem to fix.

I've realized how cleansing a good apology & forgiveness is for me. Trust me, it's mostly me doing the apologizing.

I've realized self-deprecation is stupid & I'm done with it.

I've realized that literally everything is my favorite, & that's okay. Ranking things is impossible for me!

I've realized that no season is wasted in this life. Not my childhood, being home-schooled, swimming, divorce, abuse, single-hood, dating, bad choices, good choices, etc. Everything is part of my story. Every season teaches me something different. Therefore I don't have to rush through them. I can enjoy right where I am at. Wow, how freeing is that for a planner?

I've realized that I have the most meaningful moments, authentic encounters, & broader appreciation for the "little miracles" when I unplug from my phone.

I've realized TD Jakes is the OG triple OG  

I've realized that the world is really special around 6 am. It's quiet, peaceful, and still. I think it's God's preferred time to speak. Thanks Troy for inspiring me to get up early.

I’ve realized how blessed I am to be loved by Troy, & how important marrying up & marrying well is.