April

You matter

She is standing right in front of you, but so far away at the same time. Sometimes she just needs someone to reach out to her and bring her back.

There are some wounds that time just cannot heal. Something broken that just cannot be mended.

It shouldn't matter, you should be over it by now. But the truth is, you're not going to just get over it. You were robbed, you were cheated, you weren't granted the life you should have had. There is a constant longing inside you, deep inside you. It's not a longing for someone, but rather the idea of that someone. You replay in your head the times you didn't see the face in the crowd. The times promises were made, then quickly broken. All the times you waited for the words "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" and they never once were spoken to you. But, you tell yourself it's okay. You smile and say you're better off. Which is true, you don't need him per say, but you did need that figure in your life. Everybody does.

You look for his face in the crowd. You look to see if he showed up. You don’t know why you continue to scan the room, he’s never there. You’re only fooling yourself.

Sometimes the noises in our heads block out what’s really important for us to hear.