★

  “you should get some rest,” a voice echoes into the room, a familiar feeling settling inside of you.

  “i will soon,” you turn around, resting one hand on your thigh, resisting the urge to expel a yawn. you had an interesting game with ryland, one where you both try to convince the other to sleep. usually in one of your scientific breakthroughs, forced awake knowing you may discover something life saving. 

  one of ryland’s hands are pressed against the top of the room’s opening, the other on his hip. he has on one of his science shirts, the sleeves of his jumpsuit wrapped around his waist. his eyebrows are raised, like he was expecting this answer, glasses falling down his nose as he stares at you over the browline. “you’ve been watching these plants like a hawk since we visited adrian. they will be there in the morning, along with all of the seeds that they packed,” he drops his hand to his side, taking a few steps into the room. 

  taking in a deep breath, you look between him and the plants. your head tilts with a small look, as if to say a gentle ‘not yet’. biting the inside of his cheek, ryland’s shoulders drop, eyebrows furrowing down at you. “just a bit longer, once the system waters them i’ll come to bed,” you reach your hand up, grabbing at his.

  your fingers interlock with his, squeezing to give him a little reassurance. “fine, but at least drink some water. you also need to take care of yourself,” ryland leans down, kissing the top of your head, thumb rubbing the back of your hand. 

  “that’s what i have you for,” you try to say it in a joking manner; however, his eyes roll quickly, annoyed by your incessant manner. 

  squeezing your hand once more, he walks backwards out the room. you can hear him say something to rocky, followed by the translator replying something about watching ryland sleep. smiling to yourself, you spin your chair back around, watching as a slow mist sprays into the greenhouse. it comes out at a steady pace until all of the plants have been sufficiently watered. 

  grabbing the pencil, you hurry to jot down the watering time. eyes glancing over to see how many liters the machine used to water them, only to write that down as well. staring back at the plants, the ship seems to come down to a calm state. there was still the typical whirring of the machinery, but everything else felt still. no loud banging or talking, only you and your plants, fresh oxygen permeating through the cracks of the greenhouse.

  resting your elbow on the desk, your chin lays in your palm. your eyes slowly begin to open and close at a slow rhythm. another yawn comes to the surface as you fold your arms on the desk, head laying down on top of them. you try to stare up at the plants, keep your focus on them, however, your eyes slowly begin to close for the night.

  your breathing and heartbeat comes to a steady flow, body entering a state of deep sleep. one that rocky instantly notices, the sound of your pen scratching against the paper bringing his attention to you. banging his carapace against his xenonite ball, rocky urges for ryland to wake up, “grace! grace! something happened with y/n! wake up!”

  the ball bangs into ryland’s cot, waking him up as he falls off the bed. “what? rocky, what is going on?” he scrambles to his feet, hand holding his head where he fell to the floor.

  “something happened!” he rolls out of the room, convinced that ryland will follow him out and to the greenhouse room.

  ryland runs across the hail mary’s flooring, the cool feeling sending goosebumps up his legs. the light was flooding out into the hallway, rocky reaching the room before ryland could even get halfway there. rocky paces in the xenonite ball, waiting for ryland to arrive and bring you to safety. 

  as ryland runs up to the room, he peers in to see you laying down against the desk. his heartbeat peaks, legs carrying him over to where you’re laying. the closer he gets, though, he can see your back still rising and falling, your breath ruffling the page you’ve been writing on. taking in a deep breath, ryland turns around to look at rocky. 

  “save y/n!” rocky scrambles around, only stopped by ryland’s hands shooting out, head shaking. 

  “shhh, they’re sleeping rocky,” he brings a finger to his lips, trying to speak softly so as not to wake you up.

  rocky finally stops pacing the hallway, his attention fully on ryland now. “y/n said sleep later,” rocky defends his worry, the loud translator echoing through the hall. 

  ryland shushes him again, shaking his head. biting the inside of his cheek, ryland ushers for rocky to follow him down the hallway, hoping his translator will be quiet enough. “sometimes humans fall asleep even if we don’t want to, because our body needs it. which is why as you say i get ‘stupid’ when i don’t sleep,” he brings one of his hands up to his face, covering a yawn.

  “grace stupid when not sleep.”

  “you’ve made that clear, rock. just head back to the cots, i’ll make sure y/n is still asleep,” ryland taps the xenonite ball, the two of them heading off in opposite directions.

  making his way to the greenhouse room, ryland peers through the opening, your body still laying against the desk. his gaze searches the room, spotting a quilt in the corner, folded up from when he last used it. quietly walking into the room, he unfolds the blanket and drapes it across your body. 

  as they approach the library, ryland stops by the doorway, back pressed against the open door as the students eagerly file in. they’re all quick to disperse, finding their favorite books or looking for new ones to pick up. pushing the doorstop out of the way, ryland closes the door behind him. most weeks he tries to make sure the library is closed off for his classroom, giving the students an opportunity to fully express themselves and ask questions. 

  walking into the library, it becomes clear that it is a labor of love. the shelves are near perfectly filed, walls are lined with posters and pop culture pieces. the doorway to a small connected computer lab is decorated with a tech aesthetic in mind. as his eyes search the room, ryland is quick to find you in your typical spot.

  you’re sitting behind a computer, the check-out table is covered in your trinkets and literature based items. your set up in the library is partly why his classroom is as chock full of science puns and decorations, the maximalist style working nicely for you. looking up from your computer, you meet his gaze before quickly looking back down at the screen with a smile on your lips.

  walking past the congregating students, he presses his knuckle to your desk, leg lightly leaning against the wood. “how are you doing, y/n?” ryland sports a wrinkle-free suit, a tie sports what you can tell to be molecular structures. 

  for a second, he wonders how he was so relaxed talking to you, his usually giddy self smoothing out (contrasted slightly by his clammy hands). “we got some book donations yesterday so i’ve just been trying to shelve them whenever it’s been slow,” you shrug your shoulders, fingers fidgeting with a pen, “and how have you been?”

  your gaze bores into his eyes, his brain short circuiting as you tilt your head slightly. there’s the smallest smile on your lips as you raise your eyebrows. “i’ve- i’ve been good. the class has been good, eager to come back to the library. if you need help with shelving them.. i am your guy,” ryland stands up straight, glancing at the full cart next to your desk.

  “that would be great ryland, thank you. but uh, you sure your students don’t need anything? they seem to be staring a little bit,” you point towards a small group gathering, biting your lip to keep you from laughing.

  turning around, ryland watches as his students point between an old print of twilight and the two of you. a few of them pretend to fawn, the back of their hands glued to their foreheads. his eyes widen at his students as his hands quickly give them a stopping motion. taking in a deep breath, he turns back around to look at you, trying to remain calm.

  “they’re, oh wow they’re insufferable,” he scratches the back of his neck, hand pointing towards the cart, “so, would you like some help?”

  your wide smile breaks through as the blood rushes to his cheeks. setting your pen down, you push your chair back, standing up as well. “yes, yeah that would be great ryland. maybe let’s just not start with the young adult section, they seem to be really engrossed in it,” you give him a quick wink, hands wrapping around the cart’s handle.

  ryland’s heart beats faster at the silent greeting, hands growing even more clammy. he walks beside you as you start in the science fiction section, mentioning different titles that he read as a student or has shared with his own students. he can feel his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he bumps his shoulder against yours. “it’s interesting learning about the dewey decimal system, you’re very well informed.”

  “thank you, it’s not every day that you find someone who is as passionate about their profession,” you place one of the books onto the shelf, hand accidentally brushing up against ryland’s.

  “sorry-“

  “it’s okay, it’s nice having you here.”

  “it’s nice to be here, maybe we can see each other outside of these biweekly library visits,” ryland mentions as you start pushing the cart again, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  stopping, you look back at him, giving him a little nod. “that would be lovely ryland. for now though, can you shelve this next one? i think you might actually be getting a hang of this.”

  “grace- ryland will be okay, i am just checking for a concussion. it’s.. well it’s a medical condition that humans can get if their brains rattle around too much,” you turn back to look at rocky, clicking the flashlight off as you set it onto a small makeshift table, “after our latest brush with death, i’d like to make sure he’s not concussed.”

  you had done a few tests already, making sure his balance and cognitive abilities were still up to par. however, the darkness of the room and the light tests were where you felt you could get the best assessment. even if he didn’t have a concussion, testing the pupils and breathing would help make sure he could make it to erid. 

  turning back to look at ryland, he’s noticeably looking a little anxious. from what he can remember, his last encounter with the team’s main doctor wasn’t pleasant (considering the whole ‘sending into space unwillingly thing’). and most patients you had on earth were adverse to doctors, so it was something you became attuned to. “are my eyes dilating correctly?” he tries to straighten his back some, only to hunch over slightly. 

  “yeah.. yeah your eyes are dilating correctly. uh, rocky, would you mind heading out for the duration of this check up? in human culture it’s common to give a doctor and patient privacy,” you tilt your head back slightly so you can see him in the corner of your eye. 

  “human culture is absurd.”

  “someone’s learned a new word,” you look back at ryland, raising an eyebrow at his sheepish smile.

  “but if important in human culture, rocky will leave. let rocky know when human culture is finished, statement.” he shakes his carapace, almost mimicking the way humans shake their heads. he quickly skitters off towards the main control room, maybe working on the next steps for the tau amoeba. 

  “he could’ve stayed in here, i would’ve been fine with it.”

  ryland shifts in his spot, runs running up and down his thighs as he lets out a deep breath. gaze flickering anywhere but your own now, he slides his shoes across the flooring, creating a rhythmic motion. “sorry, i figured it’d be better to have him out of the room so he’s not freaking you out with his questions,” you lean over to grab a stethoscope, bringing the ear pieces up to your ears.

  resting it against his top, you lean towards him, listening for a steady heartbeat. it’s quicker than a typical resting heartbeat, his bouncing leg not helping. “ryland, i’m going to try an exercise to calm your heart a little bit. i know medical doctors are a sore subject for you, so i want to make this as easy as possible. can you give me your hand?” reaching out your hand, you wait for ryland to reach out his.

  once he does, you extend his index and middle finger, placing them on your wrist. “do you feel my heartbeat?”

  “yeah… you’re definitely pumping blood right now.” he closes his eyes for a moment, listening as you start to direct him. 

  smiling to yourself, you nod. “okay, so take a few deep breathes with me and we should be able to regulate your heartbeat a little,” you take in a deep breath, followed quickly thereafter by ryland.

  you get him to try it a few more times as you place the stethoscope against his chest again. his heartbeat has slowed to a typical speed, no arrhythmia that you can hear. his hand stays fixed on yours, finally calming down at the feeling of your heartbeat. glancing up, not even a foot away from him, you can see how tau ceti is illuminating him. light fixated on his stubble and his blue eyes. 

  suddenly everything feels so close. his soft hand against your wrist, the small callouses rubbing against the back of your palm. his knees touching your thighs as he tries to sit patiently. your own heartbeat begins to quicken, hands and face feeling warm from the contact. taking in a deep breath, you move the stethoscope to another spot, goosebumps crawling up your arms.

  tilting his head, ryland watches you evade eye contact, heartbeat only growing faster. “do you need someone to help regulate your heartbeat?” he questions, knee pressing a little harder against your thigh.

  looking up to meet his gaze, you can see the small smile on his face, his eyes fixed on you over his glasses. shaking your head, you pull the stethoscope from his chest, quickly pulling them out of your ears to set them back down on the table. “what are you talking about?” you question back, freeing your hand from his grasp.

  “you just seemed a little flustered there,” he shrugs his shoulders, hands clasping in front of him.

  “and you seem to be doing alright, no major injuries, so i will go find rocky,” your eyes widen as you holding back a smile. standing up quickly, you walk backwards out of the room, knocking into the wall on your way out.