Apples Held By Apple Kings

Nate broke up with me after 10 days of totally ghosting me. His gf of 2 years, not a tinder hook up. I was crushed, frightened, alone and confused. Couldn’t eat or sleep or focus for 10 days then he came over and broke up with me. Said he didn’t love me anymore and he’s sorry he “handled telling me so poorly” So we broke up. I asked him a few times to meet up after to get closure, he’d say yes then cancel. Then eventually told me to stop making this into a big deal, if I need closure I’d find it. After a few days of loathing I kinda went a little crazy and made out with his friend. Super shitty but defo not vindictive, it was just someone else to feel something with after being totally broken. Didn’t yell Nate bc he’d lose it for sure. But since then Nate’s been trying to casually hang and fuck and tell me he misses me and how much he still loves me. All while avoiding having a “closure” talk. Friday Night he finally found out I kissed his friend and got super upset. Called me a skank and untrustworthy and was really mean. Then he tried once more to talk, I was busy, then he blocked me from everything. Who’s more in the wrong? Why doesn’t he understand how much he hurt me? Why would he break up with me but continuously tell me he misses me and he loves me? I feel so broken and guilty and unresolved and now I can’t do anything about it…