LOOK AT ALL THOSE SCROBBLES

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

im listening to some above ground normal shit youve probably heard of

"time heals all wounds" WRONG! time is ripping into me with a cheese grater

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

the libertarian fantasy of safety regulations existing due to sadistic enjoyment of government officials oppressing the innocent small business is kind of hilarious the more you think about it. I hope there is actually a guy out there who just fucking LOVES recalling unsafe food in a sicko sort of way. i'd respect him.

at some point The Character stops being a character and starts being a close personal friend

"i've got no qualms about it" meanwhile i'm over here making qualm chowder

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies