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@aphroditescove

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i don’t understand how anything works i just walk through life terrified
yeah
Accidentally put my whole fucking heart into something that wasnt fucking meant for me again fucking hell
they injected me with mental illness when i was a baby because they didn't like that i radiated moonlight and had stars inside my eyes. they were jealous of me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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forgive the version of you that didn’t know any better
forgive the version of yourself that knew better but did it anyway. forgive every version of yourself. we are constantly learning from our mistakes.
forgive the version of you that didn’t know what to do and could not have foreseen what the right choice was, if there even was one. forgive the version of you that made a choice and regretted it.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up.”
— Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum
Rosa Chacel, from a diary entry featured in Diario, originally published in 1993
Nikolay Punin, from a diary entry featured in The Diaries of Nikolay Punin: 1904 - 1953
From my diary, October 24th

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume 2: 1934-1939
Florence Welch will literally write albums upon albums of music about how she's always felt ostracised from femininity, that it feels for her like a performance she can't escape, and even give a whole interview about her upcoming album being inspired by how a pregnancy almost killed her and how coming to terms with this made her feel alienated from her body and gender..... And STILL the majority of her mainstream fans will still talk about her work like "omg yes divine feminine womanhood queen of fairy girls uwu". I really hate how so many ppl just don't actually listen to music or care about what it's about. The "fairy-ification" of artists like Florence Welch, Hoizer, Fiona Apple, Mitski, Tamino, Kate Bush, etc, all of whom create music that's rooted in specific social and cultural themes, but the complexity and artistic intention is often totally flattened into !!uwu fairy girlhood in the woods vibes!!! Truly hate this brain switched off vibes based era of music engagement.
When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish.
I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond.
Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.
I think this might be the best post of yours I’ve ever read
insulting on behalf of the MANY clown husbandry posts i have gifted to you over the years
7 hours ago????? And they’re already dead?????
Catherynne M. Valente, from her novel titled "The Melancholy of a Mechagirl," originally published in 2023
L. V., excerpts from the epilogue

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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'Girls in white dresses', 2023
Our vicious fantasies of revenge 🥀⚰️
whoops lost myself for about eight years there