a visual miscellaneum

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

Fruits and vegetables, before and after human intervention. 

GMO’s are simply the process of inducing these mutations reliably.

People hear “Lettuce being modified with scorpion DNA” and think that we’re now eating scorpions.  But, in reality, they’re taking a tiny bit of scorpion DNA and splicing it into the plant.  Why?  So the plant will produce poison that is not harmful to humans but will deter insects, reducing the use of pesticide, which CAN be harmful to humans and the environment.

GMOs are producing rice that can survive flooding, which makes rice more reliable yields and will prevent food shortages in poor nations that rely on said crops for staple food.

• clean ya room (just do it). also, check those pinterest boards you save for “one day” and actually go through them and draw some inspiration, even if you just end up rearranging the books on your bookshelf or put some flowers from your garden in a mason jar on your desk. this is your home, make it feel like it is.

• do your laundry (also, don’t forget your bed sheets). if you’re in the mood, look at next week’s weather forecast and think about what you’re going to wear. go through your drawers, check the back of your closet. that hat you bought some time ago and forgot about because you didn’t dare to wear it? well… new week, new you, right? 

• call a friend/family member you haven’t talked to in a while, tell them you miss them. tell them you love them. remember and appreciate that they are a part of your life even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time.

• draw, paint, journal, write or make some music. something you know you love doing but “never find the time”. sunday is “finding-the-time day”. if you’re not feeling creative, read a book or watch your favorite show. or watch a new show. a scary show. a funny show. laugh as loud as you want. listen to music. listen to your favorite songs, or listen to new songs. even a new genre if you dare. turn the volume all the way up. take a second to consciously feel the music. you can always get up and dance. or sing. or both.

• the great, but still really effective classic: take a bath or a really long shower. if you have this special face or hair mask you’re saving up for a special occasion: congrats, you’re the special occasion today. use it. also, body lotion. we all know you’re going to be running late during the week and skip it one too many times. make yourself feel like the goddess you are. 

• sit in silence for a few moments. listen to your breath. listen to your heartbeat. for the love of god PLEASE listen to your thoughts for once in your life. don’t make them feel like they are wrong. or bothersome. they too just want to be heard once in a while. what are they trying to tell you? what could be soothing for them? be compassionate to yourself. it’s okay. you are okay. you are okay.

• think about things you can be grateful for next week. even if you feel like your life sucks atm, think about the small things you take for granted in a different way. for example: “next week, i will have access to clean water. CLEAN. WATER. 844 million people don’t have that.” or “next week, my legs will take me wherever i want to go. not everybody has two fully functioning legs, so i’m lucky in that way.” you’re allowed to feel bad about your life, but you’re also allowed to feel good about things. 

• if you’ve stayed home most of the week, go out. go for a walk. go swimming. go to a party or dinner with friends. even if you feel like you don’t need to see the outside world, chances are you’ll feel great after you do. if you feel like you’ve been running around all week, maybe you’d like to stay home today. put on your ugliest sweater, comfiest leggings, and fluffiest socks and curl up under a thousand blankets. you a sloth today and it’s okay. 

• eat. i mean honestly: eat THE THING. i don’t care if you’re on a diet. if there’s something you’ve been craving all week that has turned you into the veiny-neck-dude meme just trying to resist it: EAT IT. you deserve it. not because you worked out or ate salads or did well in school, but just because you’re a human and you love to eat and life is short and you should be allowed to eat yummy things. it’s okay. you won’t gain 5 pounds or lose your brain cells no matter how unhealthy it is, i promise.

• plan plan plan yo week. it doesn’t matter if you use a planner, bullet journal, the calendar on your phone or the notes app: write everything down you have going on next week. appointments. events. coffee-dates. when are you going to the gym? what are you going to eat? (meal prep if necessary) also, create reminders on your phone for everything. “i won’t forget it!” is a sweet thought, but oh honey you will. schedule reminders for every event. let your phone remind you that you need to buy toilet paper when the store is nearby. schedule daily reminders for your medications. (once you’ve done this it honestly feels like you just cleaned out 38GB of your brain, you simply don’t have to worry about that anymore, space for more important info, like your new favorite pun to annoy everyone with)

“Science is a testament to the banality of Entropy.” He murmured, handing me the apple. The apple was now whole and rotten. “The universe is a Goddess that no man can date for long. All will be forgotten, you and all others.”

He handed me the apple again. It was half-eaten and fresh again.

“You don’t have to go to Heaven to win a war. So don’t be evil; be a fool and nothing more.”