J🐀

I know perfect doesn't exist, but sometimes in your eyes something can be perfect, so I pray every woman out there finds their perfect. 🤍🤭🤍

And yes, the guys too. I hope those of you who are awesome and cool and whatever else you can be find the most beautiful women who (I really don't know what guys want but I'll try here) loves you,holds you? Makes you happy, and does stupid stuff with you (within reason) 🫡🤭

Love y'all.

I just feel, that men, brown men, are brought up a certain way. Where everything or most things is done for them and they just have to sit and brood. (Not all, but most. I'm not generalizing here)

Like when I think of marriage, I think of love being loud. Not unicorn shit and daisies and flowers all the time, but moments, effortless. Hell I'd love a whole argument about Apple or orange juice(Apple juice tastes better)if it passes time, but I'd want presence. In the kitchen when I'm busy, in the bathroom when I'm lazily doing my skincare, annoying me when I'm clearly pissed off and want to murder anyone who looks at me.

But I'd want him to be there. A presence.

But when you think of brown boys, it's hard to picture that level of dedication? Commitment? Love? Idk. But my point is, in general, marriage is scary.

And especially in a culture that has men seen as kings and the woman, who,mind you, are supposed to be the 'queens',because kings have queens, are just the people who cook, or clean, or make tea, or says yes.

But as I said before, I'd cook, I'd clean, I'd do whatever really, but I'd want the presence. Most times, I look at the family I have, and it's like they're both..jsut strangers who sleep in a room.

Like do they know each other's favourite colour? favourite food? fears? hopes? dreems?

I mean, I'd want to know what my husband is scared of, most definitely to use it against him as a form of annoyance, but I'd still want to know. And I'd want to know his favourite colour so I can make a cake,or atleast attempt to,using that colour. And I'd wanna sit in a corner, curled up and watch reels whilst he does whatever it is he's doing.

I feel like being a presence is really all that matters. There's no need for every minute thing to be discussed, or semantics. You're busy? Cool. I'll be the side character in your life until you're not busy enough for me to be the main character. But I'll still be there.

But yeah, I don't know. I just have never found a guy, more specifically a brown guy (I'm brown so I'm probably going to marry one) who has a similar mindset.

Like we be picking up random ahh hobbies, let's paint, make a bag, embroidery, beading, hell let's watch a bird eat. Anything but study.

Which brings me to the unpopular opinion I have: it's hardly 'fair' that as a girl you have to train for marriage and you have to prepare to be a housewife and just go with the flow. Don't get me wrong, I'd cook and what not for my man, but I'd do it out of the supposed love I have for him. Not because I have to, but because I want to.

I get that men go out and do hard work and bring the money but be real, 9 out of ten 'brown households' have the mothers doing all the work whilst the men sit and talk.

Like marriage, in my opinion, is a two people thing. You go out and work, and sure, I'll cook and clean. But the way marriage is seen in our own homes just makes you loose hope.

Like personally, I have never seen a single person in my family enjoy just being married. I haven't seen quiet affection. Like forget hugs from the back, seeing a hug is rare in itself. And I can't help but wonder, if I plan on breaking a cycle, how am I supposed to do that when culture is so set on a set of unspoken rules.

"I hate this game"

"Call of duty hates me"

Like you swear so colourfully,

Meet people who make you laugh uncontrollably,