A Krampus Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house A presence of evil seeped in from without The stockings that hung by the chimney with care Would never be touched, in the morning still bare The children were restless while prey in their beds As visions of murder and death filled their heads And mama and I herbal tea in our cups Just settled down when the beast fell upon us
In through the window glass flew as it shattered Heavy black chains hit the floor with a clatter The body that followed was massively built Slow and deliberate his head at a tilt
Ivory white horns spiraled up towards the moon Fangs dripping wet to be sunk in flesh soon Obsidian eyes fixed us with a stare Claws sharp as daggers skin covered with hair
A basket of wicker and rod made of birch Each for the children deserving much worse Was slung on his back though forgotten for now Before us stood Krampus, from the waist he then bowed
No introduction we knew without asking Atonement for sins would be everlasting Horns freshly sharpened, a growl could be heard As Krampus charged forward his wrath we incurred
Cloven hooves drove until tips pierced the skin Impaling the woman again and again Punishment served I saw only a flash Claws tear at her throat blood fall with a splash
Unable to move, I was chained without knowing Krampus then turned to me teeth were all showing A long cherry tongue escaped from his lips Forked it shot out and struck like a whip
Tasting his dinner, Krampus tucked in with glee Savoring Papa ‘till the hour struck three Vapor trails followed from the bedroom he lit Gone before sunrise, no chance of remit
He made not a sound but went straight to his work Pulling the first boy from his bed with a jerk Head down in the basket feet dangling astray No mommy or daddy to come save the day
Onto the next one not a minute to spare St. Nick would be waiting with scowl and a glare Little Vanessa tucked tight under covers Ripped from the blankets thrown in with her brother
Krampus turned sideways and spat with disgust Misbehaved children to Hell is a must Back down the hallway out the window he leapt St. Nicholas watching eyed dawn as it crept
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle And away St. Nick flew like the down of a thistle “To home!” Krampus cried with bellowing thunder Sans reindeer sans sleigh just earth torn asunder
Dragging the heathens to his devilish pit Fire reflected and danced off the spit Sizzling fat still burned from the others As Krampus returned fresh meat for his supper
None heard him exclaim as screams filled the night air “Parent your children the rod do not spare Or come Christmas Eve when the sun sets below And darkness descends in a withering snow My basket I’ll shoulder with birch in my hand Frozen flakes flying I’ll scour the land Seeking the indolent insolent impudent youth Fosters who failed them, I’ll slaughter them too Bodies found rotting meat flayed from the bone Nothing but death when I visit your home So heed what I say show kindness to all If not Christmas day, your bloodline shall fall!”
