@3rdgymbros remember the anon who promised you she’d make you a ficlet of single dad Dazai? (Idk if you remember her) I am that bitch. I’m sorry I couldn’t finish it. So I’m going to leave this to you, you can do whatever you want with it. I know this iong due. I love you.
Oh and btw, this is my first attempt on a skk drabble before my Death in the Hands of God. I couldn’t finish this one.
I was wondering if I should create an Ao3 account soon.
A mother’s hands were always soft and light.
Her arms made to carry the bundle of joy with tenderness and love.
Her heart big enough to warm and protect as the child grows up.
However, Chuuya was far from what a mother should be to her child.
His fingers scarred from the many necks he strangled life out from.
His shoulders burdened by the weight of Corruption ready to embrace his sanity at call.
His heart -if there is one, for people like him, - does not warm, his heart scalded everything around him in fiery destruction leaving nothing but ashes in its wake.
There was simply no space for his and Dazai’s offspring in their world of madness and blood.
Chuuya burned the two-lined pregnancy tests before anyone finds evidence.
Chuuya wondered, setting his third glass of Chardonnay down on the table, which method first would kill the baby inside. Alcohol poisoning or miscarriage in the midst of a fight.
Dazai didn’t know, at best, shouldn’t know about the news. The Demon Prodigy of Port Mafia having a child was utterly unspeakable -even more unthinkable of. Chuuya will spare his partner the responsibility for this accident. He doubted Dazai would want to hear about it anyway.
He stood up from the couch of his living room, taking away his wine and glass. He entered the kitchen, discarding the glass on the sink. Another dish growing with the pile of red-stained chalices. He levitated towards the highest shelf, stashing one of his favorite drinks beside his untouched collection.
He supposed he can’t have the doctor sniffing on him as he makes his first visit among the counted ones. The sooner the baby is out, the better he can perform on his job.
“You’ve been restless lately, Chuuya.”
Of course, his bastard of a partner lounged at his house like it was normal. Chuuya clenched the paper bag of medicines he bought from the drugstore.
“What are you doing here? He asked, feeling nauseous as he stands. His peaceful day-off was once again, trashed by the bandages in human form who approached him.
“Going off on solo missions, avoiding encounters…” Dazai trailed as he neared him. In a second, Chuuya was by the wall with Dazai hovering above him. The bag fell from his hand but Dazai paid no attention to its spilled contents. His look imminent on Chuuya only. As much as Chuuya was thankful for Dazai not glancing down, their close proximity bidded his stomach unwell.
“Not to mention, you wouldn’t let yourself have an opening like this.” Dazai assessed.
How Chuuya also wanted to have tables turned back too, with Dazai’s wrists supposedly locked on the wall. Not like this, where Chuuya noticed their height difference too much and the fact he was too tired from the trip on the doctor to even get out of his partner’s grasp.
The simmering ache on his digestive lurched tenfold. His turquoise eyes widen as he covers his mouth. He scrambled away from Dazai with whatever strength he had and sprinted towards the bathroom.
Chuuya clutched hard the rim of the toilet as he pukes ungracefully. The unsettling pain in his stomach eased with every retch. He panted ceaseless as the deed finished, fingers crawling to flush the vomit. The figure by the doorframe of his comfort room waited for Chuuya to regain his bearings before querying.
Chuuya turned to Dazai, whose right hand gripped on the bottle of pills he had bought earlier.
Dazai shouldn’t know but now he does, because he came at the worst time of the wrong day.
“…Twelve,” Chuuya continued, albeit the hesitation. “The child won’t live, don’t worry.”
“Hence, these meds in preparation for abortion?” There was an edge to Dazai’s voice Chuuya was shocked for. He gazed at the single red eye which was daringly scrutinizing every inch of his body. Dazai had always been unreadable for him, there was no need for him to fuss over this matter.
“The operation will be on the week after next.” Chuuya walked out of the bath, passing by Dazai who had an adorned uptight expression.
The one word flared up what energy remained from the exhausting day Chuuya had. He spun to face Dazai who had followed him into his bedroom. His hands balled into fists at his side, mustering the coherence to explain. Because shouldn’t the answer be obvious to him already?
“The child won’t survive, Dazai, you of all people should know that.”
“So you decided to kill the child on your own?” He can certainly sense Dazai’s blatant accusation on him, which was so unfair, because how dare he-
“We’ve murdered children before, innocent ones who had good families! Why is this any different?!” Chuuya’s eyes stung but no, he was not weak, he won’t cry in front of this douchebag who knocked him up.
Dazai firmly placed his hands atop Chuuya’s shoulders. That’s the only time he noted of how badly he was shaking.
“Because this child is ours, Chuuya.” Dazai murmured, Chuuya hastily pushed Dazai off at the suggestion.
“I-We can’t do this, we’re not meant to be parents. We’re murderers. We take lives, we do not preserve them.” Chuuya argued and oh, he was confused. Why was Dazai being like this? Why the interest on their child? This would be easier if Dazai just agreed with him, but the mackerel had every opportunity to fight against him.
“And so? I know someone who orphaned five children and a member of the Mafia.” Dazai reiterated. Chuuya squinted his eyes and groaned in frustration.
“You want to raise this child with a suicidal maniac and a weapon of destruction as its parents?!”
“We can give the child up for adoption!”
And with that response, Chuuya watched as Dazai’s red eye stared at him once more. There was something in his scrutiny akin to connecting stars in a constellation and with every passing silence, Chuuya dreaded. Dazai sees everything, it’s only a matter of time before his partner discovers-
“There’s more to this pregnancy you’re not telling me.”
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