Anya Bear

This is where I’d live if i was a mermaid

I wanna start eating healthier, wear loose sweaters, do more art, care less talk less and listen to music most of the time

concept: walking around your own apartment in nothing but shorts and a lacey bralette, drinking coffe, a face mask on.

i like to pretend i’m a heartless apathetic b*tch but in reality i’m a baby who cares a fucking lot and emotionally invests myself in everything and is hurt 98.3% of the time

When I say girlhood I mean to bleach and bind and braid. I mean that soft gape-mouthed mirror face. I mean the slight, tight discomfort of hair scraped into a ponytail lifting the skin of the forehead. I mean pleasure-pain. I mean knowing how to hurt. I mean the fixed quality of attention bestowed by your best friend as she grips your chin to apply your lipstick, half-sensual half-ritual all hush, like communion. Sad as Sunday night television. I mean following those flow-charts in teen magazines that tell you which movie star you’re going to marry, looking for clues about the unknown quantity of yourself. I mean the sense of waiting for upheaval. I mean having an itchy soul. I mean girls are cruellest to themselves. I mean a fire in a dollhouse. 

*crushes my emotions with my bare hands* as I was saying,