moralizer

This is my Best attempt at deciphering what the fuck he wrote. there are still Blanks and it is not 100%

It’s too late for my conscious mind to accept it as being a shotgun, ‘D; “conscious -What? There’s nothing to think about. Just aim back and shoot! “ B: Don’t make assumptions about what a physically handicapped person is capable of doing.”

Group getting into convertible, frame inside. One says , “Where’s the roof in this thing? “. and the driver says “ WTH? We’re in a convertible, moron. There is no roof.” (roof extending (?) upwards in interior frame, (?) (?), the car was a regular convertible.

video of baby lanza

and i remembered the photos he took of himself on july 18th 2010, where he was holding a gun to his head. he references these photos later on in a message to somebody, likely meaning to say “why did i not die on july 18th?” which opens the idea that there could have been something he realized he could do, before he dies, that is .. and i think we all have the same idea in mind. now, if this is the case i do not believe he told this person whom the message was to the entirety of if, but that’s not what this is about.

i believe if that was what was going on, then adam shut his own plan down somewhere between late 2010 and early 2011, and this was because in his mind it would be ‘accomplishing something’ which would go against his views on life itself

going to his audio recordings from september 2011, he speaks about not having the discipline to kill himself, and not wanting to put a name to himself / accomplish anything specific before he does it, and something he said caught my eye

i’ve seen people here and there on reddit, and on the early days after the massacre suspect that he did it to force himself into killing himself, and i didn’t see why exactly that would be the case until now. he mentioned that his life was too comfortable to force himself into doing so - then proceeded to say that was the way he’d die, he was going to (…) going to WHAT? and he never explained. it was clearly something he withheld from the audience, and given his audience was occasionally one person it had to have been something he couldn’t say ever, this guy spoke about pedophilia on his channel so i would imagine it to be something drastic. he followed it by saying “either that or ill develop the discipline” (discipline to kill himself)

either WHAT