Antisocial Autistic

you’re in a public place and everything is just too much to handle so you’re like

Where I used to be “quirky” I was now “weird” and “not acting right”. Friends who previously used to turn to me for guidance and help for almost anything now began to treat me like a child and baby me to the point where it was actually said that I couldn’t be left alone to do anything by myself. I was no longer allowed to make decisions and things I had done before like stimming were now immediately shut down and stopped.

These were all things done by people my own age. People who I’d known for years and who I considered to be close friends. The second I mentioned I had an official diagnosis, everything changed. And it hurt. It hurt because the diagnosis that I hoped would help me actually made things so much worse.

People around me were made aware of my autism. But they didn’t accept it. To them it made me different. I was “other”.

I’d much rather be accepted than have people be aware of me. And now, as I see more and more posts on social media about autism awareness month, I can’t help but wonder what it is people want to be aware of. I can’t help wonder if they want to know who’s autistic simply so they can mark them out and make sure to treat them differently.

going to bathroom 2 hours after deciding to go to bathroom

staying awake all night for literally no reason

being on the ground