Que será, será

Dear diary,

This has simultaneously been the longest and shortest year of my life.

A year full of uncontrollable belly laughter, tears of happiness, tears of pure exhaustion, sleep deprivation, worries, excitement, sadness because someone very important isn’t here anymore and happiness because someone else is. This has been a year of many challenges and a year with so much growth. More growth than any other year before I feel like. And forever the year in which we became parents. Forever the year I got to stay home and enjoy every second with my tiny baby. Forever the year I will cherish the most when I look through pictures and knowing what I know now. We were two scared little puddles of happiness and anxiety when we left the hospital and now we at least somewhat know what we’re doing (lol) and it all happened in the blink of an eye. Everyone always tells you that the time flies but you really don’t know until you know.

This has been the best year. We spent all of January waiting and preparing, don’t remember the feeling but I remember me telling everyone I was bored. February 2nd my life changed forever 🥹 water broke, pushed for 15 minutes, little dude was born healthy at 4 pm, left the hospital the next day, have not been sleeping a full night ever since. We enjoyed ALL the newborn cuddles, navigated breast feeding and healing while handling blow outs and enjoying every minute of it❤️ March was the first time we took T to where I grew up. I was healed and breastfeeding got a lot easier. April I attended a yoga class to gain my core strength back and the first class with baby. Wasn’t the biggest fan but you won’t see me quit if I paid money for it lol. May was my first time back on the tennis court for a tournament match and also the first time I lost a competitive singles match. Went through a tie break and a 2 hour match right off the bat and my core was less than thankful 🥲 never lost another one after that though. The weather got better and we spend hours and hours on the courts with T. We left the country for Belgium for the first time and I was nervous for nothing to bring him to a wedding. June he learned to roll and we took our first family of 3 vacation to the shore, bought a new Audi and enjoyed having such a chill little dude with us everywhere we went. July we went on vacation with my brother and his wife and had the best time with them. Went to the Netherlands to stay at a Center Parc and we just loved being together, just didn’t love how much it cost us haha. Also the month T got his christening and the first time we every threw and paid for a party that wasn’t for us 😄 it’s just a different type of love seeing everyone show up for your child idk we started solids and my household has not been clean ever since. August was my mom’s first birthday without her. We still celebrated together but it has not gotten any easier at all. I still miss her ever single day. Even more now that I wish she could see T thrive. September was my first birthday without my mom. Having everyone here didn’t help but we went to Dpsseldorf the very next day which kept my mind off of it. We stayed a night at the airport and took a plane at freaking 6 in the morning to fly to Barcelona. I was scared shitless to be the person with a crying baby on the plane but he was an angel and slept both ways pretty much the entire time. We had the absolute best stay on AIDA just the three of us 🥰

October my guy started standing and cruising along our furniture (what!), we went to a playground for the first time and lots of swimming. He is so much fun now to be around I never want this time to end 🥲 November the weather got colder, we were inside a lot more and dude started actually crawling and getting super fast. December we got a Christmas tree that fortunately he couldn’t care less about, celebrated our very first Christmas unfortunately not with my brother because my sil got covid 2 hours before we were supposed to leave and celebrated new years on the couch because I got mastitis and just spent 6 hours in the emergency room 🙂

2026? That does not sound like it’s a day away at all 🫣

Same procedure as every year: here is what I am hoping and wishing for in this 33rd (WHAT?) year of my life:

- [ ] T Babe: I hope we continue to have the absolute best time with our little dude 🥹 I hope we have a blast celebrating his very first birthday and celebrating all the little and big milestones. I can’t wait to go skiing with him and go on the cruise in May and see where the next year takes us ❤️ I hope he stays as easy and chill as he is lol and above all that he stays healthy

- [ ] Breastfeeding: I hope I get to quit in the first half of the year and that it comes easy for both me and him. I hope I don’t have a hard time quitting and I hope he doesn’t have a hard time sleeping without and adjusting to it

- [ ] Daycare: I hope the year brings clarity to whether I should stay home another year or not and that I do not regret the decision once it’s done. It’s been heavy on my mind.

- [ ] Health: hoping and wishing for birthing but a healthy family for both H and I, especially my brother and my in laws

- [ ] Tennis: I hope I have as much fun playing like I did the years before and get to go on at least 2 LK tournaments and that it stays easy playing and competing with T around. I hope H doesn’t lose the fun in it and gets a bit better.. lol

- [ ] Vacation: hoping for at least 2 “just us 3” vacations preferably on a cruise ship and one getaway with my brother just not as long as last time haha hoping Courtney and I figure something out as well

- [ ] Money: honestly it’s been super hard for me to adjust to that I might have to live off of H’s income in order for me to stay home so I’m hoping it becomes a little easier for me to accept a little help

That’s it fam, can’t wait to see what 2026 has in store and for my little one to take his first steps in it 😍

What a year, what a year.

Here we go with the annual look back on what I was hoping for and how that actually turned out:

Birthing this baby: Hoping and PRAYING for an easy delivery in January or February. I wish for nothing but a healthy baby boy to be here in the next couple of weeks and join our little family:) | cannot wait to finally meet him and love on him from the outside. I hope he gets here safely and that birth will be a very positive experience for me and H. I hope I don't tear honestly lol and that everything goes as smoothly and quickly as possible and Tis a healthy, easy baby haha

Honestly I overall had a very positive birthing experience :) my water broke at like 1 am, labored at home, ate a bowl of chocolate cereal, drove to the hospital easy and relaxed at like 8:30, had him at 4 pm after about 15 minutes of pushing. Hurt like shit but very worth it. Baby boy is healthy, happy and thriving and we’ve been in love ever since 🥹 did tear a good amount though lol tmi but the stitching took longer than the birth haha

Health: Hoping for my hubby to not have any panic attacks anymore. Hoping for me and baby Tto be healthy and happy and praying for my brothers and H's side of the fam to be healthy as well.

Barely any panic attacks for H!! Which is a HUGE win with a tiny baby at home which.. gives me panic attacks almost daily. Family, baby and the two of us have been healthy with just a few colds and runny noses and what not but so far this year has been a blessing health wise!

Marriage: Let us all hope and pray that we make it through the newborn stage stronger and better as a couple. I hope H helps me a lot, especially in the beginning, and that I can count on him to be there. I hope I do not resend him for going to work or not helping in the house as much and that we still get time for us as a couple.

We did! It gets easier every day! The newborn days were haaarrrrdddd especially with me having to figure out breastfeeding and us having a baby that doesn’t take a bottle which resulted in me having to be home and with him 24/7 while H got to go play tennis pretty much 3 days after delivery 🙄 but the nights got longer, the feeding progressed and I got to play a whole season of tennis eventually 🥰

Parenthood: I hope both of us absolutely LOVE it. I hope we act as a team all throughout the next year raising this little babe and keeping him alive lol I hope we laugh a lot if we do struggle and that H will be the very best daddy to T. I hope I get to breast feed and that motherhood comes naturally to me and that I have a somewhat easy time being home all the time with the little one. Manifesting a happy, chill baby and a grand old time with him.

We LOVE it!! It gets more fun the older he gets not gonna lie but it’s the absolute best. He’s such a happy and chill little dude that we just love having him around. Being home all the time is almost so nice that I’m considering staying another year with literally zero income lol we’ll see though!

Work: I hope | get to enjoy the next year at home and do not regret taking the time off.

lol @ me. What was I thinking writing this? Haven’t regretted a single day not being in that hell hole of a work place.

Friendships: Fingers crossed that me and Sab will stay friends even tho our parenting styles will most likely look different haha and hoping to make at least one new good mom friend!

Sab and I are doing amazing and just meeting with the little ones! :) nothing has changed luckily we’re just raising two new besties. A couple mom friends here and there but no good ones yet haha just people you recognize from going to all the courses and what not, that’s fine though 🤗 I’m getting more confident with going in rooms where I don’t know anyone

Vacation: Hoping for a family of 3 vay cay towards the fall when babe is a little bigger :)Also, hopefully, to have a trip to the states at least booked by the end of 2024.

We did! We went on a cruise just the three of us in Barcelona and had the ABSOLUTE best time 🥰 we booked another one right on that cruise because we had such a good time lol no trip to the states booked just yet, it might be a while too with how mobile he’s getting 🫣

Family: I hope the whole heritage thing that we have going on with my mom's money right now does not tear us siblings apart and that both my brothers will still be able to talk to each other once everything is said and done. I hope Jess gets a new partner and that Jo will be happier with his parents split up.

No new partner for J as far as we know but she’s doing really good! heritage thing is still not through and it’s an up and down process with the brothers so no news there but at least they’re talking 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh what a year it's been.

Dear Diary,

it blows my mind just how close joy and sorrow really lie next to each other (is that something you say in english? lol).

I should've known the kind of year 2024 was going to be by it starting with me getting Covid. Went to Willingen the first week back at work, partied with my team and had a grand old time, got rewarded with getting Covid the 2nd time in my life, haha. Of course RIGHT before we went on skiing vacation in Austria but since it is not the biggest deal here anymore I was able to still travel and got to ski every day anyway. We had a good time in Zillertal skiing even though the weather conditions were shitty with barely any snow but the apartment we rented was THE most luxurious one we've ever had.

H and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary in March and took a little couples trip for two nights to Den Haag. We spend too much money in the Lego store, rode the ferris wheel and couldn't believe how fast 10 years go by.

Went to my 2nd ITB and had THE best time. It was WILD partying and having diarrhea the whole night, then going back to meetings for 10 hours the next day like nothing happened. Went to IMEX as well all by myself.

Got off birth control right at the start of 2024, decided by April that condoms are not for us and that if it were to happen, it would just happen and what. do. you. know. - got pregnant the very first month we did not use protection lol. I remember the test showing 2 lines right of the bat like it was yesterday. I was so scared and so excited and everything in between. Mostly overwhelmed tho haha. And ever since I have been growing this little babe and still can't believe I am going to be a mom in a few short weeks, like WHAT! :) aaaahhhh! We found out May 29th when my period was literally one day late lol took about two weeks and I started throwing up every. single. day. I would wake up, puke my guts out and go to work. It was an... adventure.. up until week 13 haha after that it has been smooth sailing and I really got to enjoy being pregnant :) Now starting to feel sore in places I did not know existed but feeling baby T makes it worth it I guess lol

Went water skiing and loved it, played beach volleyball and loved it. Went to my very first professional tennis game to watch Jannik Sinner and loved it. H got his business kick started and even tho I was still pukey I was SO proud to see him officially receive the area - he's been killing it!

My least favorite brother and his family plus me and the hubs went on a cruise to Norway. The country and the trip was beautiful, the company not so much haha we still had a good time but sure did miss my mom and brother being there.

H and I went to Munich to see Coldplay in concert and holy crap that was AWESOME. I would go again and again and again and luckily H felt just as excited about it haha we loved Munich and even debated moving there. Sab had her baby - do not like the name but love the babes, it's still a weird feeling seeing her be a mom but this chapter in our lives is going to be WILD.

Saw the northern lights right outside our window at home. Started with the nursery and getting everything for T and now it really does start to feel real.

Unfortunately, we also had some big ass struggle which overall overshadows this year as one of the worst ones (despite getting pregnant with a perfect baby). In February H's aunt Beate passed away so suddenly that no one could believe it. We were planning on visiting her this year and then without any warning, at the age of 60 with her son getting married a few weeks later, she left this earth and all of us in shock. In March my sister in law found out - on my nieces birthday - that my brother in law had been cheating on her for the past three years which ultimately now turned in to a divorce and my nephew having the hardest time adjusting to it. You never want anyone to experience that kind of betrayal and it was so hard watching her and the kids trying to navigate their new normal. The "new normal" we (as in my brothers, hubby and me) are now trying to find as well: My mom had been in and out of the hospital a few times this year. She got a TIPS surgery for her liver and we were so, so hopeful that she would finally get better with this. First surgery was not as succesfull, which resulted in her getting a 2nd one in July which was supposed to fix everything. I told her she was going to be a grandma once more and she was SOOO excited, wanting to buy the pram and promising to come visit and watch the babe once a week as she "had the time". Unfortunately, the water in her belly did come back none the less which then resulted in her being admitted back to the hospital in November to finally figure out the reason behind it. None of us even thought about the possibility that this could be her final trip. She fell of the table during a routine check up, broke her cheek bone and everything went downhill after that. She passed away peacefully and without any pain on my baby brothers Birthday, December 10th :-( I do not have the words to say how I feel right now. It does not feel real at all. I miss her so much it hurts everything in side of me and I cannot comprehend that she will not meet baby T. She will never be forgotten and he will grow up knowing exactly who his gramma was but this feeling that I will never be able to text her again, see her again and be with her again absolutely breaks my heart and I have not fully dealt with that yet given that I am still pregnant. Being in the hospital with her every day for over three weeks while 9 months pregnant has been the hardest thing ever, but it did make my brother and me become closer than ever before and I am glad we did get to say good bye and be with her as much as possible.

This has been the hardest year to navigate, to say the least. I am sure it will take so much more time for us to fully grasp that our mom is not here anymore but we are all focused on this new little member of our fam and I am SO SURE that both my mom and dad are now watching over us, making sure we are all good :)

What we're hoping for, ay ay ay!

This year has been SO long and SO short at the same time. It feels like it was the longest year ever and at the same time it does not feel like we're 2 days away from 2025.

And what a year it's been, holy moly.

Anyway, same procedure as every year: here is what I am hoping and wishing for for this 32nd year of my life:

Birthing this baby: Hoping and PRAYING for an easy delivery in January or February. I wish for nothing but a healthy baby boy to be here in the next couple of weeks and join our little family :) I cannot wait to finally meet him and love on him from the outside. I hope he gets here safely and that birth will be a very positive experience for me and H. I hope I don't tear honestly lol and that everything goes as smoothly and quickly as possible and T is a healthy, easy baby haha

Health: Hoping for my hubby to not have any panic attacks anymore. Hoping for me and baby T to be healthy and happy and praying for my brothers and H's side of the fam to be healthy as well.

Marriage: Let us all hope and pray that we make it through the newborn stage stronger and better as a couple. I hope H helps me a lot, especially in the beginning, and that I can count on him to be there. I hope I do not resend him for going to work or not helping in the house as much and that we still get time for us as a couple.

Parenthood: I hope both of us absolutely LOVE it. I hope we act as a team all throughout the next year raising this little babe and keeping him alive lol I hope we laugh a lot if we do struggle and that H will be the very best daddy to T. I hope I get to breast feed and that motherhood comes naturally to me and that I have a somewhat easy time being home all the time with the little one. Manifesting a happy, chill baby and a grand old time with him.

Work: I hope I get to enjoy the next year at home and do not regret taking the time off.

Friendships: Fingers crossed that me and Sab will stay friends even tho our parenting styles will most likely look different haha and hoping to make at least one new good mom friend!

Vacation: Hoping for a family of 3 vay cay towards the fall when babe is a little bigger :) Also, hopefully, to have a trip to the states at least booked by the end of 2024.

Family: I hope the whole heritage thing that we have going on with my mom's money right now does not tear us siblings apart and that both my brothers will still be able to talk to each other once everything is said and done. I hope Jess gets a new partner and that Jo will be happier with his parents split up.

All in all I hope 2025 will be better than 2024 and that we will look back at it being the best year yet with our little boy, even tho we do not get to go skiing haha

Jeez Luise, 2024. What a year that I yet have to find the words for.

Let's start with the annual look back at the resolutions I made the end of last year to see how it turned out, before I go into any more detail lol.

Here's what we hoped for (spoiler alert):

above all: health. I am praying for all of us to stay healthy during this new year, especially my mom. I already know she most likely will be in the hospital again due to her belly but I want nothing more than for her to come out of it healthy and happy and for her to be able to live her life for many more years to come. I hope my husband gets rid of his panic attacks for good this year and that I will be able to get pregnant and have a healthy and perfect pregnancy be the end of the next year :)

Well... apparently we're starting with the biggest one. My momma did end up in the hospital 3 times this year. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later but by the beginning of this year, I did not think she would pass away before Christmas :( My husband did get rid of his panic attacks mostly - not for good, but definitely loads better than last year. I was able to get pregnant right away which is a crazy blessing looking back now - still pregnant and healthy and perfectly going despite everything that has been going on! Everyone else stayed healthy throughout the year but my mom's passing surely has everyone thrown off.

Wishing for hubby to kick off his energy firm and for him to make as much money for me and him not to worry about the big ass chunk he just spent on it this year haha

He did! Started his own firm in July and is going strong :) Lots and lots less worries about financials, that's for sure lol

Hoping for at least one more contract with the university for me to work as a teacher

Yes! Got a raise, even took on two courses one Semester which was wild but manageable and loved doing it - thinking about doing it full time for a few months in 2026!

Vacation with my family: Hopefully we get to organize another family cruise vacation and for all of us to go on yet another amazing trip again :)

We did get it organized and booked and went to Norway on the MSC Cruise my brother, his kids and my husband and I. My mom was unfortunately not fit enough and my prefereed brother did not want to join which dampened the experience a lot and I don't think we will do it again tbh haha

Play lots and lots of tennis and finally join a team to compete

Did! :) It was AMAZING, won every single one of my singles and improved so much. It was a lot of fun playing competitively on a team and again and cannot wait for the next season to start.

Have a grand old time skiing in Austria with lots of games and hanging out with our friends

So. much. fun.

Stop taking birth control like right at the beginning. This time for real. lol

Did! lol stopped taking it like right at the beginning of January - thought it would be more of an effect given that I had taken birth control for like 10 years straight but honestly did not feel much different

Start trying for a baby and maybe even get pregnant

Did and did!!! :)

Get promoted by the end of the year the latest

Did. Sorta. Haha

Go on a vacation just H and I and go to places we have never been to before

Oh what a year it's been.

Dear Diary,

it blows my mind that this year is already coming to an end. We started off strong with getting two wedding dates set and going wedding dress shopping right at the beginning of January. Fell in love with a dress instantly, had too much time to look at the pictures so I started regretting it haha but it was awesome trying on dresses with my two best friends and my mom. We went skiing in good old Veysonnaz right after, we had an amazing house with a jacuzzi overlooking the alps.

We celebrated our 9 year anniversay as an engaged couple and I went to my very first ITB, which was great to see but also very scary because my mom went in to surgery when I was stuck in Berlin and I worried all through my meetings. Luckily everything turned out good and she was able to fly to Spain with us a few weeks later. My entire family went on a cruise starting from Mallorca to celebrate my moms 65th birthday and we had the absolute best time just being together and travelling Europe. The silent party was so much fun and I will never forget all of us dancing and singing on the deck.

For the first time in my life I bought my own tennis racket haha. Ran 5k for work, had a pretty good Bachelorrette Party (honestly expected more but it is what it is) and we finally got married July 15th. We had perfect weather all day and I only cried a little bit lol. We went to Hamburg on a little mini honeymoon to see the Harry Potter theatre and to the ocean right after just enjoying being together and celebrating my new last name. My sister in law moved and I got to spend an entire day at the zoo with my niece. Went to my first german football league game, celebrated Sabs wedding and then, after 13 years of me travelling to her, my host sister finally got to come to Germany and spend 2,5 weeks with us right before our wedding. We travelled to Netherlands and all around Germany and we absolutely loved showing them everything and how we live our lifes here.

September 16th, 2023 we got married. We partied. We danced all night. We did shots. My brother gave a speech which made me cry for an hour straight. My dad must have LOVED seeing us that way. He was dearly missed but we danced with and for him.

Our honeymoon to the maldives finally filled that gap that I have been feeling since leaving the maldives. I honestly could go back every single year. The only thing I hated was flying through Qatar and us having to spend almost 200 bucks on a bunk bed on our last night due to our lay over being 9 hours haha. I turned 30 looking at dolphins and I was so happy. We bought a new sofa (finally) and Sab got pregnant but did not tell me for the better part of 9 weeks. This made me really sad given that she claims to be my best friend and I always thought it would be a "I think I'm pregnant" text and then testing but it is what it is.

In October our entire firm went to Rhodes and I cannot remember the last time I laughed that much, drank that much, danced that much and sang that much. It was a pure party for 3 days straight with barely any sleep and I loved it so much. It was the best trip ever and I wish we could have one like that every year.

H and I went to see my brother and his family for my nephews party and then him and the boys came to visit us and stay with us for three nights, which was awesome. Between all that, I finally managed to go back home for Thanksgiving and I am happy to finally have experienced that. I've been wanting to go back for that holiday for ever and now I know I did not miss out on anything haha We still had an amazing time together though.

Resolutions

This year FLEW by, holy moly. It's December 28th and I cannot believe we are four days away from 2024.

What. A. Year. Good Lord.

Anyway, same procedure as every year: here is what I am hoping and wishing for for this 31st year of my life:

above all: health. Because there is truly nothing more important than your family and loved ones to stay healthy. I am praying for all of us to stay healthy during this new year, especially my mom. I already know she most likely will be in the hospital again due to her belly but I want nothing more than for her to come out of it healthy and happy and for her to be able to live her life for many more years to come. I hope my husband gets rid of his panic attacks for good this year and that I will be able to get pregnant and have a healthy and perfect pregnancy be the end of the next year :)

Wishing for hubby to kick off his energy firm and for him to make as much money for me and him not to worry about the big ass chunk he just spent on it this year haha

Hoping for at least one more contract with the university for me to work as a teacher

Vacation with my family: Hopefully we get to organize another family cruise vacation and for all of us to go on yet another amazing trip again :)

Play lots and lots of tennis and finally join a team to compete

Have a grand old time skiing in Austria with lots of games and hanging out with our friends

Stop taking birth control like right at the beginning. This time for real. lol

Start trying for a baby and maybe even get pregnant

Get promoted by the end of the year the latest

Go on a vacation just H and I and go to places we have never been to before

All in all I hope we take this first half of the year to get ready for a baby - drink, work out, play tennis, go skiing, go on a vacation - and then settle down to start a family the second half of the year.

Really manifesting the best year ever again with my entire family happy and healthy by my side and overall just positive vibes surrounding us. And the patience to handle my work and the obstacles thrown at me lol.

Here's what I was hoping for, and here's what we made out of it:

- above all: health. For me, my mom, my family, my friends. I hope each and every single one of us is staying healthy. Praying for my mom to finally stop drinking and being the healthiest version of herself that she can be, so we can have the best year with lots of travel and amazing experiences :) 

Everyone stayed healthy overall, mom unfortunately did not stop drinking. She had a surgery in march which was scary but pulled out great and things looked good but unfortunately about four weeks later started falling in to the same pattern again. Nonetheless, she looks happy and healthy and that is what makes me happy.

- plan the for me most perfect wedding and try not to do what other people expect or want me to do

We had the BEST two wedding celebrations and I could not have planned it any better.

- get married in the summer and have a party in our backyard with our closest friends.

Did exactly that and loved it. We danced and sang in our backyard and finally had everyone over. It was a grand old time :)

- get married in September in the church that I grew up with and have the most amazing day afterwards. I hope we will remember it forever for all the amazing reasons and that everybody has the best time. Let’s also hope for only a little bit of stress for everyone involved lol.

Did exactly that as well. Barely any stress due to us being super chill about it.

- Lots of money haha! But really though, let’s hope for people to be nice with giving gifts so I don’t stress as much with how the heck I am going to afford all the jazz

Dude, yes. First party was free and we even made more money for going out to eat on the first honeymoon. Second party ended up being way cheaper than we anticipated. Took off a lot of stress FOR SURE.

- Honeymooooooooooon: good weather, good food, lots of alcohol, lots of what married people do and just the greatest time with just my then hubby and I

Oh my gosh. Most perfect honeymoon in my book. The maldives were just as amazing as I hoped, we had so much fun and such good weather, jumped on the trampoline in the middle of the indian ocean and saw dolphins. I can't wait to go back one day.

- Play Tennis in a team and have the best time

Played lots of tennis, no team just yet but still improved my skills and loved it even more.

- Do lots of Sports

Fell in love with beach volleyball this year and started really getting in to it, even played in a tournament and it was amazing.

- Have the best time with my entire family on the AIDA in April. I can’t wait for all of us to travel together and see the warmth areas of europe :) 

Yes. SO. MUCH. FUN. We are planning a trip for 2024 as well because everyone loved it so much.

- stop taking birth control. like for real.

Getting there lol

- celebrate my 30th birthday

Boy did I. Spend it in the maldives and booked a dolphin cruise, which was freaking cool and humbling. I loved every second of it. I don't know how any future birthday is gonna make it close to this one lol

- ask for a raise towards the end of the year

Did and it good approved, yay!

- go on 10 business trips and see the most of Germany

Hereee weee gooo again. December 28th, 4 days away from 2023. Holy crap.

This year flew by and at the same time it didn’t.

Anyway, same procedure as every year: here’s what I’m hoping for in 2023:

- above all: health. For me, my mom, my family, my friends. I hope each and every single one of us is staying healthy. Praying for my mom to finally stop drinking and being the healthiest version of herself that she can be, so we can have the best year with lots of travel and amazing experiences :) 

- plan the for me most perfect wedding and try not to do what other people expect or want me to do

- get married in the summer and have a party in our backyard with our closest friends.

- get married in September in the church that I grew up with and have the most amazing day afterwards. I hope we will remember it forever for all the amazing reasons and that everybody has the best time. Let’s also hope for only a little bit of stress for everyone involved lol.

- Lots of money haha! But really though, let’s hope for people to be nice with giving gifts so I don’t stress as much with how the heck I am going to afford all the jazz

- Honeymooooooooooon: good weather, good food, lots of alcohol, lots of what married people do and just the greatest time with just my then hubby and I

- Play Tennis in a team and have the best time

- Do lots of Sports

- Have the best time with my entire family on the AIDA in April. I can’t wait for all of us to travel together and see the warmth areas of europe :) 

- stop taking birth control. like for real.

- celebrate my 30th birthday

- ask for a raise towards the end of the year

- go on 10 business trips and see the most of Germany

I reaaaaaally wanna enjoy this year as much as possible as my last year in my 20s. Not thrilled about the big 3 but so excited for what’s about to come the next year :) Really manifesting the best year ever with my entire family happy and healthy by my side and overall just positive vibes surrounding us. And the patience to handle my work and the obstacles thrown at me lol.

What. A. Year.

I don’t even know where to begin to describe this year. We started the year off with getting the 3rd COVID Shot in order to even be able to go Skiing. Timed it just in time and what do you know.. we both got the biggest cold from it. Sold our Audi towards the end of 2021 and had no car the first 3 month which resulted in us taking a train to Austria for 13 hours lol. Nonetheless had THE best time in Zell am See finally being able to ski again. We celebrated our 8th anniversary in a fancy restaurant in what we now call our home town and got my absolute dream car a week late - my Tesla Model 3 :) Been wanting this since before the Audi and finally got it, it’s blue and it’s beautiful and there’s nothing quite like 450 PS beneath you on the Autobahn haha.

We did get to travel! WOOOHOO! After 2 years on hold we made the most of it: I took the train to see my brother and nephews and niece while my mom was there, we took a trip with H’s family for the first time ever lol (Bremen), we got the cheaptest tickets to Edingburgh and WOW what a ridiculous beautiful country Scotland is. We loved every corner of it! H’s 96 year old Grandma took us to Wales too and idk what’s up with GB but why is everything so. freaking. stunning. Took our Tessi to Denmark and the ocean in the Netherland and I finally, after 3 years, stepped ground in the United States again. Almost cried happy tears. It felt like no time has passed at all with Courtney and Em and Missy. I loved it so much! Overall made it on 11 flights! :) 

My business travels finally picked up as well! I got paid to go to Berlin in July, wanted to stay the entire weekend, Henni came, laid down, immediately tested positive and did not see anything at all of the big B and we went home, haha. Got to go to Hamburg in September and got to take my momma which was so cool to be able to pay the hotel for her! :) We went and saw Mamma Mia the Musical and had the best time and the best weather. Got to go to London again this year and what do you know.. brought Covid Home with me lol. Came home Wednesday, had the worst headache Friday and immediately tested postive. Overall it was “just” the worst headache in my entire life and so glad I made it through.

Work was.. fine. Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit. Stepped up the ladder and got promoted finally :) Love that for me and my know 11k bigger paycheck! Worked my butt off for it and tolerated some psycho crap though haha. However, Dori started at my department in June and my entire life became brighter :) I love love love having her there and seeing her again almost every day. My mood and excitement for work is sooo much better now with having someone to bitch about right there haha. Also made it in the excellence programm for next year, not quite sure what that brings but I’m excited for it.

What else? Sab and Steven got engaged which immediately blocked the engagement I was hoping for in Denmark, Henni got me a SUP for my birthday and we took it right out on the Fjord that day and it was so peaceful and fun! Such a relaxed b-day for the last one in my twenties. My brother got married to his girlfriend of 10 years and I loved dancing the entire night. We had what’s called the 9 € Ticket and I’ve never taken more trains in my life. Paid 27 Euros and travelled for over 400. My aunt unfortunately got sick and is still in the hospital :( Scared us like crazy but glad she’s finally feeling better and on the road to recovery. 

Sports were a big thing for H and I to do together this year :) We ran, we took loooots of bike rides in the summer, one day even almost 60 Kilometres, I ran 10k in the MS Marathon (woohhhho!), and I found my first love back: Tennis. Wow it’s been like what, 15 years? Now that we’re settled here I texted the tennis team and got lessons, I LOVED IT! Was a bit rusty at the start but getting really back into it now. H took a beginners course and I’ve loved being on the court together all through summer. 

Felll in love with desperate housewives, which idk why but I’ve never seen before and am now on round 2 for all 8 seasons haha. We finished our backyard and the front yard, got the fences up and got settled in the house. H is finally seeing a therapist for his panic attacks and it - fingers crossed - seems to help. We spend more time with Sab and Steven and have such a good friendship now. I love spending time with H even if we do not talk lol and spend quality time with my momma. 

And last but not least: I finally, after 8 years, 9 months and 21 days got proposed to (ARE YOU KIDDING? AAAHHH). Like many times before, I thought I was getting an engagement ring for Christmas. Checked his Amazon and Mail and there was anything BUT a ring. Got super sad again and talked to Dori all about it until my Internet was not working and I asked H to check this website to see if it was my phone or our internet, he opened it and the entire page was full of engagement ring commercials like you get when you google it. Ahhhh. Then, one day, he told me he was in MS and I went to check his location to see if he was on the way back so I could start dinner. And he was at my MOMS!!! I was freaking the f out and called Dori right away haha. I could not believe it. He asked my mom and brother for their permission are you serioussss aaahhhhg. Came home, was all sneaky about it, Sabbel called to ask if I wanted to go for a walk with her dog which was suspicious AF and I knew it right away lol. I literally would have gone in sweats and my sleep shirt if I hadnt known what was up :) Got home to candles all over the living room, towards the christmas tree and henni dressed up in his nicest shirt. He said he knew he wanted to marry me since day 1, got down on one knee and popped the question. He even filmed it all, what a perfect guy!! aaahhh! The ring is beautiful and fits like a glove and I cannot wait to marry my best friend! We facetimed everyone and they were all super excited except for my weird ass brother of course haha.

Lookback twenty twenty two

Here’s what I wished for last year around this time:

- run that Marathon! Let’s get the practice going and run it with ease in September

--> DID. IT. (!), ran it easier than I thought I would. Hated it during the run but was soo happy to cross that finish line.

- get promoted at work by July

--> Did not LOL, but got promoted for January and my new contract was worth waiting for

- get a raise (!) or at least ask for one

--> no raise but two double bonuses

- see Courtney in Washington

--> I DID!!!! :-) AND SO FREAKING HAPPY 

- go on vacation with my whole family to see my brother again

--> did go with just my momma and I and even stayed longer just by myself.

- stop taking birth control by like the end of the year

--> did not but definitely going to in the next year

- start seriously planing a pregnancy

--> lol. no. and not any time soon.

- go on at least 4 flights

--> DID! Made it on 11 actually

- have a week long vacation not doing anything in an all-incluvise resort with H

--> Did not, but did take the Tesla out to Denmark just H and I and had a super relaxing full week just the two of us.

- get. that. tesla

--> DIIIIIIIIIDDD and love IT!

- GET FREAKING ENGAGED - yes I am wishing for it again this year because what the freaking hell is he waiting for and I swear I am going to lose my shit if it does not happen in 22 :-)

--> This was me when I originally typed this on December 22nd: lol. no.

--> This is me know after Christmas: HELL YEAH!!! I got proposed to in the MOST romantic way possible and it was so worth waiting for. I loved every single second of it. Gonna do a seperate post on this so I never forget it but I cannot wait to get married to my man *crieshappytears*

- buy a new iPhone

--> had my firm pay for it and got a new iPad as well

- finish our garden in the front of the house in the first quarter because holy moly

--> almost done. but holy moly haha

- start growing gras in the backyard and plant some trees

--> DID! :) and looooooooove the big ass backyard

- start being happy with how my body looks

--> still working on it

- try new things and explore more

--> Definitely did try a lot of new things

Honestly, all I want in 2022 is for my family to stay healthy, especially my mom. I hope she manages to not drink alcohol for the entire year and that my dad watches over her and us to stay healthy and get along as good as we do. I hope we continue to be healthy and happy, I hope we all get to keep our jobs and that there will be a light at the end of this tunnel of a pandemic. I hope my relationship with H is loving and honest and that we keep growing as a couple. I hope 2022 is a year we love for so many reasons :-)

--> My momma did start the year super good with no alcohol but unfortunately something must’ve happened and she started back at it..still a lot less than what it used to be but honestly more than she should :( 

Here we go again. December 29th, 3 days away from 2022. Say what.

This year flew by and at the same time it didn’t.

Any to the way, same procedure as every year: here’s what I’m hoping for in 2022:

- run that Marathon! Let’s get the practice going and run it with ease in September

- get promoted at work by July

- get a raise (!) or at least ask for one

- see Courtney in Washington

- go on vacation with my whole family to see my brother again

- stop taking birth control by like the end of the year

- start seriously planing a pregnancy

- go on at least 4 flights 

- have a week long vacation not doing anything in an all-incluvise resort with H

- get. that. tesla

- GET FREAKING ENGAGED - yes I am wishing for it again this year because what the freaking hell is he waiting for and I swear I am going to lose my shit if it does not happen in 22 :-) 

- buy a new iPhone

- finish our garden in the front of the house in the first quartal because holy moly

- start growing gras in the backyard and plant some trees

- start being happy with how my body looks

- try new things and explore more

Alright people, here we are again at the end of the year 2021, looking back at all the jazz this year brought us:

- We finally got vaccinated with barely any side effects aside from a headache and life became a bit more normal after that

- another year without a cold and did not miss a single day at work again lol ditched the big C another year but with my almost sis in law it did hit closer to home than in 2020

- switched departments in April and honestly hated it the first couple of weeks. I didn’t think I’d still be in this department by now but here we are lol I love the work way more than my old one and the salary is great for not having to work weekends or holidays anymore :-)

- did my first ever real business trip to London 

- Back in WFH mode and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to go back to the office 5 days a week

- starting running more frequently and signed up for my first Marathon

- Merkel is no longer president and I am not sure how I feel about this

- Travelled to Amrum to see my brother and watch my baby nephew start school and all of us honestly had THE best time ever, we plan on going back every year from now on

- My baby brother got engaged (what?)

- Travelled to Norway with my mom and we had the best of all times, I will forever cherish these memories we made on the AIDA

- Moved in to our home in March and 9 months later it still has not settled in that this is our place

- H build a whole ass Garage by himself and I pretty much doubted him the entire process haha

- Started talking to Nina again and it feels real good to reconnect with her

- went to a wedding and traveled to Amsterdam and Den Haag for a weekend where I though I’d get proposed to

- started eating sushi and fell in love with it

- bought and sold our old Audi A6 that my dad bought in 1998, broke my heart but glad we could move with it and drive it for a little while

- continued to work out all through the year

- spend way more time with Sab than ever and loved it

- Had a big ass scare in April when my mom got admitted to the hospital but THANK the Lord that everything is good now, she stopped A and has been THE best version of herself ever and I love her so much and am so freaking proud of her

- Sold my beautiful Audi A5 and H and I’s first car ever 

- Made my dream of the last 5 years possible and bought a Tesla Model 3

- Got a big raise at work and finally feel appreciated in what I do 

- Worried a lot this year, mostly about money and what bills come next with this house but I feel like we’re in a good spot now 

All in all I think 2021 was a big year, my life did a 180 when I moved to my house and switched jobs all in the same week lol but my hard work and going to Uni is finally starting to pay off and I can’t wait to see where I’ll be work-wise next year.

Covid is still going on and there seems to be no end of it soon - they are working on a medication so let’s wait and see.

2021, you turned out better than expected and I am more appreciative than ever of my health, my family’s health and the one of my friends 

What’s up fellas, here we go again with yet another look back at my resolutions last year around this time and check out how much we actually accomplished

Here’s what I wrote at the end of 2020:

- Have our house ready by the end of March for us to move in, and make it a home. I hope we love it and how it all turned out. I can’t wait for the all the memories we get to make there :)

- Get my Bachelor’s degree early in the year

- Get the senior title at work in July the latest

- Switch departments at work. Finger’s crossed for a job as a Junior Operations Manager.

- continue to work out all through the year. Get closer to that sixpack.

- see Courtney in Washington

- get. a. puppy.

- not gonna hope for a proposal anymore, as it hasn’t happend the last three years I put that down as a resolution so I’m gonna hope for a healthy, loving relationship with my man and lots of amazing memories and for us to grow even stronger as a couple :)

And here’s what we made out of it

- Got my bachelor’s degree at the end of 2020, whoop whoop

- Did not get the senior title which was a blessing because before they could promote me I got an even better promotion to a new department that I did not even consider switching to 

- No a Junior OM, but a Junior PM which suites me SO much better

- did work out pretty much all year, even started running again and registert for my first marathon in 2022 (might regret this later but here we are)

- Did not see Court :( borders were closed all the way up to 11/21 and by that time the time was too close to book a flight 

- no puppy but I was definitely closer than ever to get one lol

I just got done cooking a full ass meal for a man that has literally spend the entire day on the couch watching tv. Mind you this was after I made breakfast and cleaned up afterwards with no help at all after not coming home until 3 am from work this morning. Anyway, food got done, he took one bite, said it tasted bitter and that was it. No thank you, no I’m sorry it’s just not my taste - only complaints. Love that for me.