i still wonder what its like to be loved. no second guessing, no reassurances, no pain. just pure, healthy, unquestionable love. 

I think I’m getting better and then everything gets bad again. 

I was made to be ghosted and abandoned, nothing more.

My trauma didn’t make me soft. It made me distant. Angry. Distrustful. Bitter. Never soft. What they did was never soft.

I wish I was pretty, or something. I wish I was something. Anything. I wish I wasn’t so useless and untalented, wish I was more than just an enormous waste of space and a burden. Also wish I wasn’t so fucked up.

How do i stop waiting for things that are never going to happen

I’m a background character in everyone’s life. I’m not important to anyone. I don’t even matter.

I literally have nothing to offer

You know what sucks, not having anyone in your life that you can turn around to and say, can you come over, I need someone

i wish i could go back in time and tell my younger self “hey just kill yourself now. there’s no hope and the future is worthless”.