He's just a jerk dog living in a jerk world

The 90lb jerkdog was limping so bad the other night that he was in pain if we touched him. Took him to the vet, shows no signs or symptoms.

Jerk dog steals stale loaves of bread off the counter, eats the whole things, and then leave the crumbs all over the house for later.

Oliver likes to brush his teeth with us in the morning. He sits on the rub until one of us puts our face to him so he can lick some toothpaste. 

We just moved into a new house; jerk dog needed the light on because he’s a scaredy cat. 

This morning my dog decided to sit shotgun while I was trying to get a ride to the bus stop. He refused to move for 5 minutes. 

Today he decided that leaving a decaying bird’s head on the bedroom floor was a good idea.