timaeusTestified [TT]

YO, I GOT STUCK IN A CLOSET ONCE. SHIT WAS MAD LEVELS OF UNCOOL.

        Shot in the dark, the only furniture you use is inspired by Both My Parents Were Surgeons and I Used to Talk to Furniture, considering I've never decorated my pad with actual tables, much less ones that could walk, scream, and/or bleed out.         Scratch that, I've never seen or heard of anyone else of sound mind doing the latter either.         Side note one, if the road is a precipice instead of a highway, it's got no business leading to hell.         Side note two, if you have the ability to navigate like any normal person, how did you end up cradled in a bough for several months outside your own volition, much less get stuck there out of fear of tumbling down the max twenty feet I'm theorizing that climb is?         Sounds like what you need more than a hand out of that tree is troubleshooting and tuning of your cognitive processes, back processes, and back-back processes. Don't want to lose the thing you brag about at least ten times for every time I mention having a body of organic tissue.         Highly improbable is an understatement, considering you didn't lead with "I need help." instead of describing the death of a fucking table.         Where's the tree?

        Ok, cool. Good talk.

        If you’re about to offer, I’m not going to refuse.         And yeah. That was a compliment.         What kinds of threats? Might be presumptuous of me, but you don’t seem like that kind of person. Makes a guy curious.

        Yeah? That makes it sound as though you two are stuck being the adults.

i want to punch whoever said “kill two birds with one stone”. how about you kill no birds asshole. how about you leave birds alone you piece of shit

        If you're about to offer, I'm not going to refuse.         And yeah. That was a compliment.         What kinds of threats? Might be presumptuous of me, but you don't seem like that kind of person. Makes a guy curious.

I’M DUMB NOT STUPID

        Uh.