I do think some people are too hard on Pure Vanilla Cookie for not understanding White Lily Cookie or being able to help her more.
Yes, one of the big points in the most recent chapter is that White Lily Cookie was failed badly (and so was shadow milk cookie, he cannot be separated from the narrative or themes of this chapter, but this post specifically is about white lily cookie) for her entire life. The things she suffered, the harm she caused, the mental state that drove her to her death, none of these were inevitable. White Lily Cookie could have been helped so much more, and she was not. That is an injustice to her.
The point being made here, though, is not that Pure Vanilla Cookie specifically was responsible for single handedly 'saving' White Lily Cookie, or that he is in any way 'to blame', either for the things that happened to her, or for the things she did.
Pure Vanilla Cookie, for much of their friendship, was a child. It is a horrible kind of pressure to put on a child, to expect them to be able to recognize and resolve signs of mental illness in their friend all on their own. Of course, perhaps he could have- should have- done more once they were adults, but White Lily Cookie was always good at self isolating.
I think the actual crux of the issue here is systemic failure. The fact that a little girl can be so alone and misunderstood- even surrounded by peers and teachers- that she'd put herself in horrible danger just trying to reach someone like her, who might finally see her.
This is not the fault of one individual person, especially not the one person in White Lily Cookie's life who brought her any sort of solace (lets not forget many of her final words were dedicated to telling pure vanilla cookie how much he did help her and bring joy to her life despite everything), this is a broader social systemic failure regarding a lack of education on mental illness & neurodivergence or support networks for the mentally ill & neurodivergent.
Of course, that's not to say individuals can't do anything, or that Pure Vanilla Cookie specifically couldn't have, in some world, done more. It's a good thing that he's now thinking of ways to better recognize when people need help and give them what they need.
But no, I don't think White Lily Cookie hurt herself and others because Pure Vanilla Cookie specifically 'failed' to love her enough. I don't think we're supposed to take his grief driven survivors guilt entirely as fact.
I think Pure Vanilla Cookie helped White Lily Cookie more than he knew in a world that wasn't built for people like her, and I think the fact that he's so determined to do more now that he knows how bad it was only proves more how much he loved her.
