my ilya rozanov headcanon of the week is that ilya loved vine. 6 seconds of bizarre, highly relatable, low-effort nonsense where the thing that was funny about them was how literal they tended to be (see, for instance : “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah I sure hope it does—” OR “hey I’m lesbian.” “I thought you were American.” OR “whaddup I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned to read” etc etc). The fact that vine was a thing for hollanov’s entire situationship and then promptly disappears off the face of the earth at the end of 2016 is sort of the icing on the cake — when tuna melt happens he just busies himself watching his favourites lamenting how he lost both the love of his life and the pure unadulterated joy of these stupid videos all in a matter of months. then like years later shane finds a youtube video compilation of old vines and sends them to ilya like “this video is weird but i feel like you’d like it” and it’s the video of the guy losing his cookie in a glass of milk while the pan flute version of my heart will go on plays in the background
this hc has bewitched me, here are a handful of Ilya's own vines that break containment and get put in compilations
a six second video of Ilya on a stationary bike singing ABBA as loud as possible in a thick Russian accent. loop.
shirtless selfie mode, bear tattoo in frame "what the fack" camera flips around, there's a bear outside. "how did you get off my chest". loop.
the video starts in ilyas mouth, pulling out. he says "goldfish" flatly. the camera continues pulling back (theyre at a bar) and Marleau tosses a goldfish cracker and Ilya catches it. everyone around them erupts into cheers and starts jumping on him. loop.
Ilya very close to the camera in a club, plastered, "i am Patrick Swayze" cut to Ilya attempting to do the dirty dancing lift with Marleau, he runs into Marleau's arms and they fall immediately, the video ends/loops before they even hit the ground. loop.
bonus: Shane's only vine, posted by Hayden.
millennial pause. "hey I'm Shane Hollander, Hayden Pike is my best friend and is not holding me hostage at P. Sherman 42-" Hayden interrupts and the video ends. loop.











