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Magnus: Did you know every 1 out of 3 hoes are mad?

Alec: I'm not mad.

Magnus: I'm not mad either.

Magnus & Alec: [look at Lorenzo]

Lorenzo: What?

#literally what happened at that party at Lorenzo's #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

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Magnus: Yes, I looked both ways before crossing the street.

Alec: -

Magnus: Both sexy and beautiful.

Alec: YOU ALMOST GOT HIT BY A BUS!

#Magnus isn't wrong #he is always sexy and beautiful #malec #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect malec quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Drunk!Alec: Magnus, say you love me.

Magnus: You love me.

Drunk!Alec: No, I meant-

Magnus: So you don't love me?

Drunk!Alec: Of course I love you!

Magnus: Then what's the problem?

Drunk!Alec: Ugh. Just forget it!

Magnus, smiling and kissing Alec: I love you, Alexander.

#wrote too many drunk!Magnus chats so here's one with just drunk!Alec #Alec is a mushy & clingy drunk and that's canon #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Izzy: My brother is not exactly warm and fuzzy.

Alec: Magnus, stay in bed and cuddle with me. It's too early!

_______

Clary: Alec is the most law-abiding Shadowhunter.

Alec: Magnus can stay at the Institute as long as he wants. Also, Imma go to Lorenzo's mansion to put on an elaborated facade so that Magnus can snoop around.

_______

Jace: Alec is a man with immense self-restraint.

Alec: Magnus, let's stop training and go have sex instead because I'm so turned on by how strong you are.

______

Simon: Alec doesn't know how to let loose.

Alec: I'd like a gin martini, stirred not shaken and with extra olives. Magnus, let's get drunk and dance around in our living room.

#that's the Magnus effect baby #Magnus doesn't change Alec #Magnus helps Alec feel comfortable to be his true self - the one he had to repress before meeting Magnus #that's true love #come soulmate shiz #malec #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect malec quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Magnus: -and then I knocked him out and sent him through a portal.

Alec: ok wig.

Magnus: I thought you'd be impressed.

Alec: I am!

Magnus: But you said "ok wig", not "omg wig" as if you weren't excited. Like, meh ok my wig fell off.

Alec: ... I'm trying my best, Magnus!

#Simon: Magnus is right.#can you imagine Magnus teaching Alec's the memes and internet slangs #and like a wonderful husband alec tries to learn them all #tho sometimes he'd get them messed up lol #mal #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect malec quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

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[How it could have gone after Magnus woke up from his coma]

Magnus: I love sleepovers.

Alec: This isn't a sleepover. You're in the clinic.

Magnus: Then why do I have this nightgown on?

Alec: That's a hospital gown.

#Alec: Magnus you almost died #Magnus: I was in a slumber!#I know it was a serious moment and Magnus was in serious danger but imagine how funny this would have gone #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Jace: Magnus has powerful magic but I don't think he's physically strong.

Magnus: [silently stands up, walks over to Alec and picks him up bridal style effortlessly while maintaining eye-contact with Jace]

Alec: Don't ever insult my husband like that again!

#that's impressive because Alec is a giant #imagine Alec flipping Jace off while being carried by Magnus #I mean we have all seen what Magnus got going on under all those fancy clothes #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Alec, pointing at Magnus' jacket: That jacket looks good on you.

Magnus, winking: YOU look good on me, babe.

Alec, blushing: Just say "thanks" when I compliment you.

#Alec's lying he loves it when his husband flirts with him #which is all the damn time #Magnus can't help himself #even though his flirting is borderline inappropriate #he does it just to see Alec blush and gets embarrassed #idiotic husbands #malec #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect malec quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Magnus: Madzie say shit today. Who taught her that?

Alec: Not me. I say fuck.

#Magnus: I-#Alec is such a great role model #pretty sure Alec swears all the time how can he not when he has to put up with all the bs from the Clave and other shadowhunters?#malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhutners #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Everyone: We are going to meet with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

Alec: Hope this doesn't awaken anything in me.

[After meeting Magnus]

Alec: Oh no. Something has been awoken.

#is this not the canon???#this is exactly what happened lol #Alec didn't even know he was meeting his future husband for the first time #Magnus saying 'you unlocked something in me' which is basically the same thing #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

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Alec: Jace, do you wanna find out your clown name?

Jace: My 'clown' name?

Alec: Yeah. It's your first name and your last name.

Simon: *gives Alec a high-five under the table*

#boom roasted #we were ROBBED of the friendship that Alec and Simon could have had #Simon teaching Alec the language of the youth and Alec uses it unironically #imagine how funny they would have been as bffs #Alec Lightwood #Simon Lewis #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack

Alec: I love you. Now say it back.

Magnus: It back.

Alec: ...

Magnus: ...

Alec: ...

Magnus: NO, DON'T CRY! I'M KIDDING!

#Alec: that's not funny Magnus!!!!#awwww Alec you know Magnus loves you back #Magnus you little shit #Magnus is just teasing Alec a little bit #the Lightwood-Bane husbands #malec #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect malec quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters chat #shadowhunters crack #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Alec: We just had breakfast. Why are you making pancakes?

Magnus: The pancakes are for the cats.

Alec: Why are you making pancakes for the cats?

Magnus: Because the cats can't make pancakes themselves.

#duh Alec #obviously #Alec: .... alright that's fair. carry on.#sometimes I think about Magnus feeding stray cats because he's the purest and sweetest man that has ever graced this earth #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood

Alec: Have I told you how much I love you?

Magnus: You might have but feel free to remind me.

Alec: Well, I love-

Izzy: Enough! You have reminded him 14 times during dinner alone! He remembers! We all remember!

#we all know Izzy has been a malec shipper since day 1 but sometimes these two idiots are too much #Alec just can't stop announcing his love for Magnus #and Magnus can't stop letting him do it #malec #incorrect malec quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #izzy lightwood

Question: Do you find it weird in fanfiction that Alec is constantly depicted as not standing up for himself when he gets unwanted advances, but in the show (especially season 1) Alec could give no shits about telling people to fuck off if they were annoying him

I kinda do. I mean like yeah, Alec used to repress his feelings and didn’t talk about his own needs and desires. And that could potentially make him come off like a timid push-over. But I think that’s a false impression because Alec does not take any shit from anyone. Telling people to fuck off is something he’s very good at actually.

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anothermalecblog

Sorry for the lack of posts. It’s been kinda busy but I should be able to post more regularly now ^^ hope y’all are doing well.

very-dead-skull-deactivated2020

don’t worry I stopped writing one of my favourite stories because I tried to bake cookies last weekend, your reason can’t be worse

anothermalecblog

thanks for trying to make me feel better about it. also baking cookies is a valid reason :)

Simon: I hate it when people say Jace and I are “idiots to lovers”.

Clary: Why?

Simon: We became lovers but we never stopped being idiots.

#he... got a point #they're idiots to idiots in love #jimon bc everyone is gay on this blog lol #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters crack #shadowhunters chat #Simon Lewis #clary fairchild

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