A R G E N T

1. “please, please, please ignore that mistletoe.” 2. “did you make the eggnog or did grandma do it?” 3. “this is way too strong! there are children here, you know?”  4. “will you help me get the tree from the attic? i hate it up there.” 5. “this is the first christmas without (…..). it’s weird, isn’t it?” 6. “i could use some extra hands over here.” 7. “thank you for letting me celebrate with you guys.” 8. “isn’t it weird, not celebrating with your family?” 9. “will you come sit on santa claus/mrs. claus’ lap?” 10. “have you been naughty?” 11. “you have been very nice for me, i see.” 12. “come on! give me a hint for what my present is!” 13. “i want to spend every christmas of the rest of my life with you.” 14. “this is the worst christmas party ever.” 15. “where is everyone? am i too early?” 16. “you seriously want to order in tonight? are you an idiot?” 17. “merry christmas, asshole.”  18. “try not to behave like a slut this time, alright?” 19. “um.. who’s this present for?”  20. “please don’t make me remind you of the christmas of 2009.” 21. “how do you know santa isn’t calling everyone a hoe in here? for all we know there’s an ‘e’ behind it.”  22. “i’m so jealous of you. you have the perfect family.” 23. “alright, let’s go sit around and tell each other our most embarrassing stories of last year.” 24. “i have something to announce..” 25. “this is the best christmas ever!” 

i’m interested in stargazing and rough sex

…to tell them you like them.

Times Square, NYC

❛  but officer, they were fucking with my clique.  ❜ ❛  if you lose yourself, i will find you.  ❜ ❛  true friends don’t judge each other. they judge other people. together.  ❜ ❛  oh, you’re my friend? name three of my albums.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry, but you must be at least a level four friend to unlock my tragic backstory.  ❜ ❛  fuck you but fuck me first.  ❜ ❛  you’re cute, what is your face html?  ❜ ❛  my life is one big ‘ wow, ok. ’  ❜ ❛  my life is just poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background.  ❜ ❛  i accidentally messed up my life, how do i start a new account?  ❜ ❛  my life is a joke and i’m not laughing anymore.  ❜ ❛  at myself, what the fuck are you doing.  ❜ ❛  if yahoo answers can’t solve your problem, then you’re in too deep.  ❜ ❛  this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid.  ❜ ❛  how do you get a nice body without moving.  ❜ ❛  it’s so hard when you’re in a cuddly mood and don’t have anyone to cuddle with!! this is an outrage!!  ❜ ❛  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?  ❜ ❛  you ever just ugh really hard?  ❜ ❛  i’m a really affectionate person one you get past my five layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike and loneliness.  ❜ ❛  i was confident for like two minutes one time.  ❜ ❛  all i think about is sex and what i’m going to eat next.  ❜ ❛  i have my pencils and my tears ready.  ❜ ❛  i’m that kinda person who, between two choices, will always pick the wrong one.  ❜ ❛  i avoid everyone, including the people i like.  ❜ ❛  i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember that i don’t even like me.  ❜ ❛  gosh golly! this beat is … whoo! this beat is … DANDY!  ❜ ❛  it’s hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you.  ❜ ❛  thinking about space fucks me up.  ❜ ❛  my biggest struggle in life is trying to make my eyeliner the same on both eyes.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could illegally download clothes.  ❜ ❛  heelys don’t have brakes because my swag don’t stop.  ❜ ❛  i know i make lots of jokes but i promise you, i’m a really sad person.  ❜ ❛  at least i can admit that i’m a piece of shit.  ❜ ❛  ‘ i’m not bitter ’ i say bitterly, with a bitter expression.  ❜ ❛  i’m fluent in talking shit.  ❜ ❛  it’s crazy how there are seven billion people on the planet and all of them are in love with me.  ❜ ❛  why am i better than everyone?  ❜ ❛  sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments.  ❜ ❛  I SWEAR, I AM NOT CUTE OR SWEET. DON’T CALL ME THAT. I AM EVIL. I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT. FEAR ME.  ❜ ❛  i don’t ‘ dress to impress. ’ i dress to depress. i wanna look so good that people hate themselves.  ❜ ❛  i love learning bad things about people i don’t like.  ❜ ❛  i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.  ❜ ❛  i’m just an asshole with feelings.  ❜ ❛  there’s a special place in hell reserved for me. it’s called the throne.  ❜ ❛  damn boy, are you the terms and conditions? because i don’t give a fuck about what you have to say.  ❜ ❛  damn gurl, you flappy bird? because no one likes you.  ❜ ❛  your tattoo says ‘ only god can judge me, ’ yet here i am.  ❜ ❛  i’m not even sassy, i’m just an asshole.  ❜ ❛  i’m not a bitch, i am the bitch.  ❜ ❛  i like being obsessed with things so that i am distracted from how much i hate myself.  ❜ ❛  tips on talking to me when i’m pissed off: don’t.  ❜ ❛  my fashion sense is called ‘ i am cold and pissed off. ’  ❜ ❛  maybe ‘ fuck you ’ will be our always.  ❜ ❛  i believe in hate at first sight.  ❜ ❛  you hate me? wow, so much in common already.  ❜ ❛  i’m filled with hate and useless facts.  ❜ ❛  do you ever just wear headphones so people won’t talk to you?  ❜ ❛  i’d be such a good girlfriend, you’re all missing out.  ❜ ❛  getting into a relationship may seem tempting but so was getting on the titanic ship and look what happened there.  ❜ ❛  there’s always gonna be that one person who you can’t get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try.  ❜ ❛  i ship me and money.  ❜ ❛  have you ever met someone who’s smile looks like it could make flowers grow?  ❜ ❛  how do i get over someone i never dated?  ❜ ❛  i have a very big crush on you but sadly i am only a little bug and you are a garden.  ❜ ❛  if you grab my face right before you kiss me, i’ll definitely fall in love with you.  ❜ ❛  i don’t like your clothes, take them off.  ❜ ❛  put me in the coffin with both middle fingers up.  ❜ ❛  dying is taking too long.  ❜ ❛  being cremated is my last hope of getting a hot, smoking body.  ❜ ❛  don’t joke about murder. i was murdered once and it offends me.  ❜ ❛  you can’t spell school without ‘ i want to stab myself. ’  ❜ ❛  good news, everyone: dogs.  ❜ ❛  if you think it’s impossible to fall asleep to heavy metal, then you’re completely wrong.  ❜

:’’’’’’))))))))))))

                  tragedy  is  sewn  into  your  soul  ,  darling  ,  no  matter  how  bright  your  halo  glows  ,  or  how  HIGH  your  wings  take  you  ,  you  will  always  ,  eventually  fail  .                                    previously  agonyworn  .                                           

Megan Fox as Jennifer Check in Jennifer’s Body (2009)

crystalmreed: Yours truly, Sophia Falcone. #babycuzimathug @gothamonfox

it’d also be pretty rad if a hot guy lived upstairs & maybe he was in a band & after a long night of practice he’d come out onto the fire escape for a cigarette while you’re out there looking up at the stars & reading a mystery novel & it goes on like this for a while, just sharing a few glances & head nods & then returning to your apartment but maybe one day he walks down the stairs & sits on one of steps & asks you what book you’re reading & it all kind of flourishes from there. you’re welcome. 

Send  🎢 for our muses to ride a coaster together!