A TOMATO FEAST IS ALMOST UPON US !!!!!!!!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

izzy's playlists!

Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor

ellievsbear
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

#extradirty
h

PR's Tumblrdome
d e v o n
sheepfilms
todays bird

Game of Thrones Daily
NASA

seen from Netherlands

seen from T1

seen from United Kingdom
seen from France
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Poland
seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from Israel

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Italy
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Italy
seen from Australia

seen from United States
@annimalprint
A TOMATO FEAST IS ALMOST UPON US !!!!!!!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
can't wait for these babies to be ready
Hey there dear
I was wondering if you could rec me any cherik professors AU?
Thank uuuuuâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
First of all, I'm so sorry how long this took me. RL has been quite hectic but I finally managed to make a fic rec list for you. Unfortunately, the fandom doesn't have many fics where Erik and Charles are both professors. Charles is usually just the professor and Erik isn't which is a shame because there's so much potential there. Usually college/university AUs are with them as students and not as professional academics. Oh well, if anyone is having trouble finding ideas I would seriously suggest looking into Professor AUs. Anyway, here's my list.
Cherik Professors AU fic recs
An Ideal Grace â afrocurl, nekosmuse
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google.
Loveâs Own Crown â afrocurl, nekosmuse
Summary: Sequel to An Ideal Grace, in which Charles and Erik navigate the complexities of their new relationship while battling external forces that seem determined to keep them apart. Fortunately they have one thing on their side: Love.
Tuesdays With Charles â Brenda
Summary: Erik's just looking for a quiet place to grade papers. What he finds in the Novel-Tea Tea Shop is so much more than he ever dared to dream.
Special Topics in Mutant Studies
Summary: The trouble with Charles Xavier isnât just that he teaches genetics and holds terrible views about mutant rightsâitâs also becoming increasingly clear that everyone but Erik seems to love him.
The Better Men â Turtletotem
Summary: "I do believe the two of you were in the same year as boys, were you not?" Headmaster Shaw said. "Charles is the most competent deputy any headmaster could ask for, Erik, and he's been doing this for yearsâŚ" He trailed off, as if finally noticing something odd in the way his Potions and Divination masters were staring at each other.
"Of course," Charles said quickly, his voice only a little hoarse, and stuck out his hand. "Welcome back to Hogwarts, Erik."
The Wrong Impression â Rosawyn
Summary: Charles is trying to balance the responsibilities of his career with his responsibilities as a single father to a tiny baby. It's not something he ever thought he'd have to do, and it's not as easy as those women on the internet make it look! He does't have much of a social life (unless talking to his sister on the phone and attending a parents' class where he's the only guy count), and he doesn't even have time to think of dating. He's just trying to keep his job - and keep his son fed and healthy.
Majesty At My Doorstep â emperors_girl
Summary: Alex is not the kind of kid who lives in houses with white picket fences. Alex is the kind of kid whoâs had seven placements in five years. He was never, ever going to be able to stay.
My Heart Beats so Unruly â emperors_girl
Summary: Hank isnât unintelligent. He knows he could be accused of having a particular preference in the type of person he finds attractive. He likes blondes with pretty eyes. Unfortunately, blondes with pretty eyes rarely like Hank back.
Or: Hank is enamored and a bit confused, and Alex is a lying liar who lies.
Sequel to Majesty At My Doorstep
Note: Both Erik and Charles are professors in this series, but the later story is very focused on Alex/Hank. Also, itâs Mpreg if you donât like that then I might skip this one.
Continuing Education â aesc, spicedpiano
Summary: To his students, Erik Lehnsherr is despotic and terrifying. To his department head, heâs the brilliant young researcher who abandoned his prestigious job overnight, moving across the country to join MITâs faculty. But to Charles Xavier, he is a contradiction. As Erik and Charles settle into their new roles as colleagues, their professional rivalry starts to spill over into the personal.
Note: This fic has been removed from ao3 but I do have a copy if anyoneâs interested. I always mention this one because itâs one of my favorite cherik fics and theyâre both professors.
I love your fic recs! Do you have any with Protective!Erik?
Protective! Erik is one of my favourite tropes so I have a TON of fics to share with you. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Protective! Erik fic recs
Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours â madneto, Pangea
Summary: Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked personâwho goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead languageâbrings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.
Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.
In Sound and Silence â endingthemes
Summary: Erik is assigned to care for the special patient in room 301.
How Not To Meet Your Future Boyfriend â ikeracity
Summary: Erik punches Charles in the face the first time they meet. There isn't anywhere their relationship can go from there but up.
Forgotten â FuryRed
Summary: Charles is having a really bad day. Not only has he woken up in the middle of the afternoon with no idea where he is or how he got there, but when he returns home heâs confronted by a stranger with intense eyes, who insists that he knows Charles rather more intimately than Charles remembersâŚ
Thou Shalt Not Eat Stones â valancysnaith
Summary: Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate.
âThey have Charles, Erik,â she said.
The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.
Demoted â JayPendragon
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadnât been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel â if he doesnât die of boredom first. One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.
Warning: Sensitive material, domestic abuse and dubious consent
Watch Your Back â swoopswoop
Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.
If We Met Differently â swoopswoop
Summary: Erik wasn't the only mutant 'taken in' by Shaw, Erik learns this the hard way when a new mutant is dropped into his cell. They manage to escape together, but things aren't all roses after that. Erik has a score to settle and needs to make sure Charles is safe.
The Color of Love (Character Swap Remix) â BadLuckBlueEyes
Summary: Nobody sees in color until they meet their soulmates. When your soulmate dies, your vision returns to black and white. What happens when your soulmate only dies for a few minutes?
Omega Online â miss_aphelion
Summary: Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alphaâso in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time.
Cannot be Contained in Words â wallhaditcoming (uvcatastrophe)Â
Summary: Crime syndicate head Erik Lehnsherr travels to London on business, where he meets oxford student Charles Xavier. Their liaison spawns into a years long transatlantic affair, kept apart by Erik's work and Charles' studies,which Erik chronicles in photographs. When distance ceases to be an issue after four long years, the overlap between Charles' past and Erik's work create a whole new set of complications.
A Pertinent Reminder â ikeracity, Pangea
Summary: Sometimes it's easy to forget that getting involved in Erik's mob business isn't all fine dining and sex on yachts. There's nothing like taking a couple of bullets to remind Charles of the reality.
Part 3 of the Associates series
A Dangerous Game â ikeracity, pangea
Summary: When a familiar enemy of Erik's returns to the city for some old-fashioned revenge, Charles is sucked deeper into the world of the mob than ever before.
Part 6 of the Associates series
You donât choose the thug life (except when you do) â Anonymous
Summary: Charles is kidnapped and discovers that Erik, the Alpha he has been dating for the past few months and is head-over-heels for, is not just a wealthy businessman but actually the head of a syndicate.
He is rather unhappy about this discovery and Erik gets an earful for lying to him. Then Charles is kidnapped again and really, he hopes mating Erik won't result in weekly kidnapping because he has a thesis to finish and papers to grade.
Marrying a Mob â Ook
Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".
Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.
Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.
Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.
Rumor Has It â blueink3
Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"
"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."
Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.
Forward Momentum â AsYouWish
Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.
Runs in the Family â Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)
Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.
But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.
"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.
Featuring mpreg!Charles in a Kiss The Cook apron, overprotective!Erik in wet black leather, and baked goods. Lots and lots of baked goods.
Round the Corner Waiting â swoopswoop
Summary: When things go so spectacularly wrong during a relationship, Charles - now a single dad - almost makes a big mistake, only to be stopped by a mysterious man who just might turn his life back around.
Hide Your Fires â swoopswoop
Summary: As the sole heir, Prince Charles, had no problem with the roles and responsibility that would come with ruling a kingdom. Though he was the only one who did not see a problem. After years of being shuttled back and forth between kingdoms, his Regent hoping he would find a match more suitable to being King, he is finally sent to Genosha. Though the path has never been less clear than the one to a foreign kingdom with no ties to his native land.
Shawâs Captive â swoopswoop
Summary: Magneto killed Shaw, it had to be done for the sake of mutant-kind but what he wasn't expecting to find hidden deep with Shaw's complex was a man held captive, obviously tortured, that somehow made Magneto turn into Erik.
Erik now has a potential human in his citadel as he continues the war with the human's.
Mindâs Eye Blind â SperareÂ
Summary: As far as Erik is concerned, if you want to scare a person into talking, you have to present him with something more compelling than what he stands to lose...
And there is nothing in the world more compelling than Charles.
Chipped â RosawynÂ
Summary: Magneto's fledgling Brotherhood find Charles Xavier in a mutations research lab as an apparently willing subject for an experimental suppression device.
Okay, I Feel Better Now â Harleydoll
Summary: The AU in which Erik is sent to a mental health facility after being convicted for Shaw's murder and pleads insanity, and Charles is his paranoid schizophrenic of a roommate. Powers, Hellfire conspiracies, protective!Erik, and of course the inevitable angst.
Five Nights in Nuremberg â FuryRed
Summary: When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years he knows that heâs going to need help to avoid being recaptured.
What he doesnât expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesnât speak a single word of EnglishâŚ
Five Bullet Points â Sperare
Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.
Charles was never supposed to be there with him.
Notes: Unfinished but an excellent read. Highly recommend it.
Stolen â ishipitsobad
Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.
So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.
My Barbaric Darling â baehj2915
Summary: Erik is revivified caveman. Charles is the anthropologist(?) taking care of him. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. Romcom misunderstandings and prehistoric wooing ensues.
Swimming with Sharks â Not_You
Summary: Erik used to be a shark. Now he's not, and has to figure out how to be a good human father to his twins. Charles is willing to help.
Eucalyptus leaf of my soul - kageillusionz, ourgirlfriday
Summary: Zookeeper Raven at Taronga Zoo keeps having ideas on how to capitalize on interest in the zoo mascots, Koala Charles and Drop Bear Erik (the only drop bear in captivity!), who have captured the hearts and minds of the public. First it was to introduce prospective mates (Itâll generate attention, Hank. People are perverts. Theyâd love to see koala porn.). This idea was not effective the first through fifth attempts, as Erik and Charles seemed to show at best polite interest in the newcomer before resuming whatever marsupial debate they had going. However, the resulting lesbian koala orgies did indeed generate interest. Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Koala program, which was successful, as the public showed great interest in hugging Charles, and Charles seemed to enjoy being hugged.
Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Drop Bear program, and Hank, not for the first time, wished he had a flask handy.
Notes: Yes, theyâre Koalas, yes theyâre adorable, and yes, Erik is super protective even as a Drop Bear.
valorant agents as cats part one.
đđđđ đđ đđđđđđ đđ đŚđđ˘ đ đđŁđ.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I literally clipped this because corpseâs laugh is truly pure serotonin
He legit says that as one of his voicelines and Iâve been thinking about it ever since u~u
this is just wild
[ID: 2 tweets by @ thought_grime reading:
I will never forget the guy who came into my work this past December with nomask on saying "can somebody please tell me what's going on!!??" We gave him a mask, learned that he had been living off the grid for a while, and had not yet learned that there was a global pandemic.
he was so sweet and so confused and he said he only came to town because he ran out of oats
end ID]
Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.
Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes
Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God
He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference wouldâve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.
Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
apparently this is a thing in Japan too, and it gets translated as âMundane Halloween.â There are so photos online and theyâre all so good?????
âPerson going to work on a windy day"
âWoman whoâs having her bang cut but the hairdresser is nowhere to be found"
"Zookeeper in charge of the pandas"
Here are two more:
"Not pregnant lady when someone yield seat to her on subway"
And my favorite
"Person on thermal infrared camera"
Might share more tomorrow.
Influencers taking selfies at a gym
Starbucks barista working her ass off on Halloween but gotta keep up that smile
Person who sits on wet paint
Person who's still loading
Boyfriend carrying girlfriend's shopping bags
I love these so much
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put âyou absoluteâ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add âedâ to any object and itâs sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled
Meanwhile, âutterâ works for the first (e.g., âyou utter floorboardâ) but somehow âutterlyâ doesnât seem to work as well for the second (âI was utterly floorboardedâ).
Utterly doesnât work for drunk because itâs the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.
⌠huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to âflooredâ, and yet âI was utterly coat hangeredâ does seem to convey something similar.
I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.
Completely makes the phrase mean âsuper tiredâ.
âGod, itâs been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.â
Something is
Something is wrong with our language
Is it a glitch or a feature?
Feature
this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldnât go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that thereâs a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.
I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this
This post is always fun. My contribution: âmore than a littleâ makes it mean angry.
âDid heâŚ?â
âYeah. And Iâm more than a little coat-hangered about it.â
Roy: You canât outrun your problems but you can jog slightly in front of them and pretend you canât hear them because you have your headphones on.
Valorant Agents As That 70s Show Quotes
credits to @that70soscontext on twitter for the images.
Brimstone :
Viper :
Omen :
Killjoy :
Cypher :
Sova :
Sage :
Phoenix and Yoru :
Jett :
Skye :
Mmmm so I know im not that good at drawing or painting, but I do enjoy it. So I thought it'd be nice to share. (^-^)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
wow I didnât know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered
OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl whoâs probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says âOne of those!â. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says âOne of those!â. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like âYOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG ITâS ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALLâ. The little boy looked at his mom and said âBut I want the same as ______ (whatever the sisterâs name was)â. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. âHe can have the white egg.â
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys donât cry.
And this is why we shouldnât gender fucking chocolate eggs.
This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I donât know at what point they decided to make âgirlâsâ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it.
Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sonsâ masculinity. Iâve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers.
I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. Theyâre all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, âOh, well since itâs a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, heâs a boy, you know.â
Confetti.
The fucking confetti.
It barely covered 5% of the image.
Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her sonâs cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choiceâThe Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, âOh no no, we canât have that. Letâs do another one.â Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didnât know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, âOh, itâs just that heâs a boy, you know? We canât have a girl superhero on his cake.â
I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, âItâs just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really donât want him to end up⌠well, you know.â
This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, youâre limiting them and youâre teaching them that girls or âgirly thingsâ are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that youâre teaching the same thing to your kids.
So this woman did not want her son to turn out âyou knowâ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I donât think she thought that one through too wellâŚ
in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and âboy toysâ. I asked if heâd do the same if he had a son and he said âOf course Iâd buy my son sports equipmentâ. I clarified âNo, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girlsâ. He turned around and didnât answer.
Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society
Fuck everything.
My father was one of these parents (along with several other harmful issues!), and even though I know, for an absolute fact, that his world views and ways are entirely wrong, this shit he tried to ingrain into me still effects me to this day. Parents, donât ruin your fucking kids by treating them like this.