“Shit     didn’t know it was you, Anna.”
“Then I’d suggest being more careful in the future.”
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@annamarixcacciatore
“Shit     didn’t know it was you, Anna.”
“Then I’d suggest being more careful in the future.”

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“Oka, fine. You want to run yourself into the ground and pretend everything’s fine be my guest.”Â
“I’ll do exactly that. I’m not going to run myself into the ground, I am fine.”
“Loud family, I take it? That can be nice though, always being around people who care about you.” Sawyer smiled, looking around at the cityscape. “Some people think the sounds of the city are annoying but they get scared by the silence. Feels ominous to some people.” Turning back to the woman, smile on her lips, Sawyer tilted her head to the side. “Have you been here long?”
“You could call it that. More just like a busy household, always had visitors, dinner parties. Somewhat of a social butterfly, I could say.” Anna smirked slightly, knowing her words were far from the truth, but what did it matter in the long run? “Oh, no, I didn’t say I was scared. Just not used to it.” She replied, shrugging slightly. “In New York? Years.”
“You need to lay off, okay? Before I break every bone in your fucking body.”
“I’d watch your mouth, if I was you.”

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“Alright, well, whenever you want me to slice off a few hands, let me know.”
“Like I said, I don’t like sending in associates.” Alex grinned wickedly, nodding at her words. She liked Grace sure, but fuck she needed to get some goddamn release. She could only stay quiet for so long before she felt like she was going mad. “Say no more. Whatever she knows, I’ll beat get it out of her.”
“I will.”
“No, and we wouldn’t send in an associate to deal with her. At least, not at this point. I want a full update as soon as you’re done.”
“Anna, you can’t be everywhere at once. It’s not possible. He’d want you to run the business, not run yourself into the ground for the sake of it.”Â
“I know you’re not fine. You really don’t have to pretend for my benefit, Anna, maybe for the others, but not me.”Â
“I can try! No, he’d want me to do what he did - and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“I am fine.”
“If that’s true, maybe we should send a louder message.”
“If you’re sure. I have a few toys that I’m dying to put to good use.” She smirked at her words, shrugging. “I’m not sure. Gracie’s gone very quiet on that front. Want me to check in on her?” She asked, quirking a brow. Her check ins were very rarely pleasant for the associate involved, but they were oh so much fun for Alex.Â
“Maybe, but not just quite yet.”
“Well, just save them for now. She’s gone quiet?” Anna asked, arching an eyebrow. She paused for a moment, considering. “I think you might just need to check in on her.”
“Anna, I know it’s easy to blame yourself, but it’s not your fault. Unless you were the one to give away the information, which I know you weren’t, you couldn’t have done anything. Giovanni wouldn’t want you to run yourself into the ground, Anna.”
“You’re not fine, Anna. You haven’t been fine for a while, don’t think I don’t notice that you’re not okay.”
“Of course I wasn’t! It’s still my fucking fault, I should have been looking out for him. For everyone. He wouldn’t? I’m doing exactly what he would have wanted me to do!”
“I am fine. You don’t know me, I’m fine.”
“Anna if you’d have been there neither of you would have been here now. Nothing could change the fact they knew where he was. Honestly, the only way to stop it full stop would have been to stop the information getting out in the first place. If you’d’ have been there neither of you would be stood here now. You’d have left it all up to them. Something that’s going to happen anyway if you don’t take some time to breath every now and again.”
“Anna, listen to me, nothing bad will happen. Just take some time, go to Cloud Nine, that’s your territory anyway, even if it is under the owners nose. It could just be a way to work, and have a little time to relax.”Â
“Maybe it would have been better that way! Maybe we should have both gone, then it wouldn’t be like this - but it would never have happened that way and you know it! If I’d been with him, we’d have had security. He may not... He-- He may not have loved me, but he wasn’t stupid enough not to protect me. We’d never have gotten shot at, because we’d never have been alone enough to become targets! I don’t want to have time to breathe, I need to put every last part of energy into this! For him, for Gio!”
“I don’t believe you. No. I’m not going to go, I... I’m fine, Diayu. I’m fine.”

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“Anna, there was no way you could have known it was going to happen. None of it was your fault. It was them and only them. I know it’s difficult, Anna, but you are strong enough, and you’re not alone.”Â
“Anna, I promise you that nothing is going to happen to anyone if you take even an hour off. You’ll run yourself into the ground if you don’t take breaks every now and again.  They’ve lost Giovanni, Anna, they can’t lose you too.”Â
“I should have known! He shouldn’t have been out on his own like that, with no security, with nothing! I should have at least been with him then-- then it would have been me, and nobody would be in this position. He’d be okay, everything would still be fine.”
“I’m not going to do it, Diayu. I’m not taking any time off, I can’t. Not now, not ever.”
“Anna… That wasn’t your fault. That was theirs, and you are going to make them pay. But you run yourself into the ground they’ll get to you first. Then who’s going to protect them?”Â
“Anna, I promise you I can look after them for one day. If anyone even touches a hair on their heads you do what you need to do to me. Whatever you think that may be.”Â
“It wasn’t my fault? How was it not my fault? There are so many things I could have done differently that night, so many things I should have done and then -- then he’d still be here. He’d still be doing this, and we’d all be fine. I don’t know how to do it without him, Dia.”
“It’s not that I don’t think you can, or that I don’t trust you. I just can’t do it. Not even for a day, not even for a minute. I can’t.”
“Anna… Come on, I promise the world isn’t going to fall apart if you spend the day at the spa. Honestly, I recommend it. As your Consigliere, and as your friend.”Â
“How do you know that? The last time I took a step back, the last time I let my eye off the ball they-- they-- they fucking shot him, Dia. What if it’s Alex this time? Or Paul? Or Daniel? I can’t do that to them.”
“Okay, not take a step back. But at least take a day off, go to a spa or something. Don’t run yourself into the ground.”Â
“I don’t... I don’t know how to do that. Take a day off? When have I ever taken a day off? I can’t, Dia...”
                             so hum hallelujah                              just o f f the key of reason                              i thought i loved you                              it was just how you looked                              in the l i g h t

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my dear find what you love and let it k i l l you let it drain you of your all let it cling onto your back and w e i g h you down into eventual { nothingness } let it k i l l you and let it d e v o u r your remains for all things will kill you, slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a { lover }
                         – charles bukowski
❝when is a monster { NOT } a monster?                  oh, when you l o v e it. ❞