annabel lee

I am Pansexual and out of my parents I only truly have my mom, after my parents divorced and my dad moved out , my dad became more actively hateful. He became more homophobic, misogynistic, racist and it breaks me when i’m forced to be there .He breaks me, i’ve tried so hard to make it work because I fear of ever hurting someone else’s feelings, but being around him makes me feel like i’m betraying myself . It feels like the good parts of me are slowly dying , like every bit of progress i’ve made is being crushed. My mom doesn’t wanna fight with him and make things worse , but I can’t stand to be in the environment anymore.

This place is not my home, I don't belong here, I am not welcome here, I can't be myself here . I am forced to where a mask and taught to be silent , because my voice is not important enough to be heard. I get told " i have years on you" "You don't even know what you're talking about" " you're just a teenager" . They use my age like it's supposed to be a blindfold, like a number in years makes my eyes less functioning compared to theirs. That my eyes don't see the world I'm living in. I am taught that my age means I know less, I see less, I hear less. I have been taught this , I am preached these words. Everyday I hear them here.  They say " I'm too young to truly see what's happening, to know it, to hear it. " and it just baffles me . They say their age makes them superior because they've lived through things. If they are so superior why are we still fighting the same fight that they did, if age is so valuable , if their "wisdom" is so valuable and that’s their argument, why am I living through something that should have been handled ages ago. They speak to me as if my age affects how I see, and hear the world. But last time I checked the older you get the worse those things get, you lose hearing, vision, memory. So why? why is my voice belittled because I am young. Why are we shut down so quickly, this is our world  too, we see it,  we hear it, we live it, we have a future in it. As the younger generation we are building OUR FUTURE, while they stay in the past. So here's something to think about , and it's for the older generation. You call us lazy, yet when we stand up to things, when we speak against the bad, when we fight for change, where are you ? (now of course you aren't all like this but this is directed at those of you who are. )Where are you right now? If you think of your age as such superiority then stand up, I don't care how tired you are, you have had time , so if you can't change these things, then it's our turn. Some of you tried , you stood for change, and to those of you who did, thank you. To the others. I hope you enjoy watching everything change, because we are done tolerating and normalizing things that never should have existed, We are standing up , We are screaming, We are making our voices heard, and WE WILL NO LONGER BE SILENCED!