annaamelie

(crude humor warning)

Ana: Oh come on, punching that girl in the face showed some real initiative! That's the kind of attitude that the youth of today need! Always with the texting and the Instagrams, it's like none of them have any balls anymore!

Ashe: Yeah, you think you can bitch me out? I am the queen of bitch! You look up bitch up in the dictionary and you're gonna see my fucking face!

Baptiste: You gonna come in this doghouse, you're gonna get bit.

Bastion: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...

Brigitte: Well, I mean, it's funny, but it's not Cat Dressed as a Shark Riding a Roomba Chasing a Duck funny.

D.Va: I mean, are we supposed to believe that it's his colored beak that gives him the power to turn the fruit into loops?

Doomfist: It's like a stew. If you use too much salt and pepper, when you taste it, you're not gonna like it. Curses have to be looked at like spices. You never want to use too much or they lose their impact. You've got to pick your spots. The less you curse, the more powerful the words can be. (on phone) Tell me something good, Frank. Well then you tell those little f cking b tchy c nts that if they don't get their f cking sh t together, I will personally b tch slap each one of those p ssies up and down f cking Wall Street. If this f cking deal goes f cking f ckity f ck sh t, I will happily knuckle-f ck every last one of those p ssy-ass b tches, rings on! And you know my rings, Frank. You f cking hear me? Good! Now get it done, you f ck. You b tch. You little b tchy f ck b tch! (off phone) So like I was saying, the key is moderation.

Echo: Now, remember! Confidence! You are a sexy bitch!

Genji: (probably sarcastically) I’ll die before that pig-tailed labradoodle ruins the legacy that you worked so hard to build

Hanzo: (sighs and sits down) Every single one of you is a wrinkle in my face.

Junkrat: Here's my rule for eating crayons: red before blue, very happy poo, blue before red, you're gonna have to go to the emergency room.

Lucio: Now are you ready for me to blow your mind? Kickball is just baseball but with your feet!

McCree: Alright, alright, somebody's ass isn't being a team player. *bonus* Aw, you fuckin’ traitor.

Mei: I would like a Dora the Explorer with gumball eyes, please, and those little poppers that you throw on the ground to scare away little kids with?

Mercy: Relax? I'm sorry doc, but I don't live in a goddamn mentos commercial!

Moira: Well if ignorance is bliss, you must be one very happy fucking idiot.

Orisa: I think we should probably be paying attention to what's being said back here, because it sounds like someone's confessing to several very serious felonies.

Pharah: Here I was trying to be the bigger person. And there you were, being, well, the degenerate trashbag slut that you've always been.

Reaper: How many times have I told you that I am not allowed to let you out of my sight? So you know, don’t tell anybody.

Reinhardt: I won! But I lost! But I won!

Roadhog: Okay, so just to be sure, we're a no on car fires, correct?

Sigma: Do you guys ever talk about anything other than, like, revenge? I just saw this video of a kid online who could light up a lightbulb by sticking it in his mouth. I mean, what's going on there, right?

Soldier 76: Oh, I'm sorry, do you not want to be here? Would you rather be at home with a nice glass of red WINE, sitting next to your pet WEIMaraner while you guys WIND down your day by catching up on old episodes of Mad Men, created by Matthew WEINer? Is that what you'd like?

Sombra: Tú es un bitcho.

Symmetra: (laughs) I'm sorry, do you know who the fuck you're talking to?

Torbjorn: ... It doesn't matter where you go, there's always gonna be bitches and assholes in your life. So the only thing you can do is surround yourself with the few bitches and assholes you can actually stand being around. And for me, that's you guys.

Tracer: I’m in the Matrix! (screams)

Widowmaker: Listen, I am buying this bottle of wine. Now you can sell it to me or I can sell your organs on the black market! So far tonight, your little power trip has cost me twenty-five minutes that I could've spent eating a delicious chicken fried prime rib dinner! So, while I hold your fragile little life in my stainless steel fingertips, I ask you cashier, do you need my ID? Do you?

Winston: Alright, sorry, geez, just trying to build some team morale.

Wrecking Ball: Yeah, lookin' good! Who's the best? You're the best! You've had all year long to prepare for this day, are you ready? You're goddamn right I'm ready! Gobble gobble, motherfucker. Gobble, gobble.

Zarya: So then he was like, "Give me a lap!" And then I was all like, "Hey coach, why don't you give me a lap?" And then he was all like, "You know what? I respect you."

Zenyatta: The only true happiness comes in death.

Bonus interaction between D.Va and Widowmaker