parev

Like I literally haven’t gone more than 3 days without binging since the beginning of July

It’s like not even emotional binging or even like compulsive its me being insatiably hungry and then I eat so much my stomach hurts

But I’m definitely overeating... like a shit ton..., Like I assume I’m burning ~2500? calories in a day (biking, standing for 8 hours, walking, passing the fuck out) but i’m surely eating a LOT more than that. so maybe I just need to have foods I can eat like a metric fuckton of without ingesting too many more calories. 

like todays intake:

- spinach, vanilla plant protein, mango/strawberry smoothie

- chocolate croissant

- chocolate almond milk (so fucking good one of the barista makes it for me after m shift i cry every time)

- kale, quinoa, chickpeas, hummus, mushroom onion salad thingy

- 1 whole mango

- 1 pint of blackberries

- an entire spinach borek (like a whole fucking spiral... from the balkan place)

- 4? bowls of bran with peanut butter and coconut, almond milk

like this is an incredibly large amount of food. I've gained about 5 ish pounds since being home (though my weight has fluctuated from 129 to 136 depending on the time of day/if i’ve pooped/etc,) though honestly i’m eating so fucking much, so often i’m surprised it’s not MORE

my belly is definitely poofier, i attribute this to eating more sugar than i do at school (at school i would not eat muffins, chocolate milk, pastries, etc. all that often but here I do because of my job LMAO)

i saw the pic of me and my coworkers/friends (if you have me on fb you know the one) and i was like, fuck, i look fat? but i think it’s just the ANGLE because in other pics i’ve taken i don’t look like that haha. but i’m definitely “BIGGER” than i was, but i don’t feel FAT, like i’m weighing about what i did around april, but i was also lifting a lot then so maybe i had more muscle?

anyways bodies are SO weird

- today he viewed my snap story (okay he’s really young and all of my coworkers have him on snap too lol) before my Fuck Boy did LMAO

- after work today, my other boss asked me “You’re leaving soon, right?” and then “Do you think [Crush Boss] is doing a good job leading the meetings?”