pitiful.

team up with ... her ... ? even though she says she doesn’t own a diary, he can’t help but feel a suspicion well within him. it’s an INSTINCTIVE fear, really, and partially justified at that. no one just ... offers to help others without wanting something in return. that’s just life; that’s the real world.               and yet, he feels oddly OK with the arrangement. fearful, but OK.

mirai nikki au

mitarai ryouta — holder of the ANIMATOR DIARY / PROTAGONIST DIARY

he finds it saved on to his computer — well, kind of. there was a project he was working on. a pet project, really. it’s the “story of mitarai ryouta” but disguised as the story of a random protagonist who was bullied as a child, rises above it as a beacon of HOPE — “selfindulging underdog bullshit,” in the words of his self-proclaimed partner(?), local hospital-bound girl enoshima junko.

frames take work. they can take hours – days, sometimes – to complete properly. some animation companies hire intermediate artists to quick & simple in between frames, but mitarai ryouta has neither the resources nor the pride for that.

but what does he find saved onto his computer? new frames. frames he didn’t make. frames in his art style, featuring his battered protagonist and several unknown faces. there isn’t a lot of clues there — he doesn’t recognize a bit, nor can he make out the context of the added scenes — but ... without a doubt, it’s his signature style.

gets pretty freaked out by it. gets even more freaked out about the game and its premise.

local hospital-bound girl, enoshima junko? wait a second!

why is she hospital bound? does junko have a diary?

good questions... junko is not in the game, but she’s still very invested in it. mitarai ryouta is her “in.”

why partner with enoshima junko? at first, he’s really suspicious of her. she’s ... weirdly interested in, and there’s something very offputting about the way her eyes light up at the mention of the game. as if she’s not even trying to hide that the nature of it is fascinating to her. at first, he thinks she’s in it for the prize — if he becomes god, maybe she’ll reap some benefits. get out of the hospital, get her illness cured.

he also went through the “she’s definitely involved, and she’s definitely going to kill me” phase, but ... it took some time for him to finally realize it, but he did. he thinks. 

enoshima junko isn’t interested in the game for the prize or for the glory. she’s not interested in it because she’s a kindhearted selfless soul who cares about mitarai’s wellbeing either. she’s in it because she’s CRAZY. a complete psycho, drawn to sick things ... and for some reason – as insane as it sounds – realizing this results in mitarai trusting her more.

junko’s a surprisingly good partner, too. more of an asset, than a partner, really. mitarai isn’t exactly buddy-buddy with her, no. they’re not even “friends” benefiting from each other — they’re just flatout staying together because they know the other person has something they can gain from. it’s a weird, manipulativey relationship that isn’t really a relationship at all, but... it works. not sustainable, but it’s works.

junko as a partner. she’s intelligent, that’s the main contribution. her tone isn’t appreciated as much as the points she makes. she’s the one to recognize mitarai’s work is pretty much a corny self-insert and torments him a little about it. it’s good, yeah, it’s actually really neat. definitely has potential. but it’s without a doubt, based on his life. and so if it tells the future...

side: he’s exactly not sure what qualifies as “his diary.” is it the tablet? the monitor? the hard-drive? just what? he doesn’t want to find out either, because there’s really only one way to do that...

spoilers: his computer gets bashed with a baseball bat, but he survives.

                      [ delete. ]       [ delete. ]      [ delete. ]

/ / —

                                         it’s not that he doesn’t celebrate the holidays, no. it’s just that ... there’s a time and place for festivities, and at a moment like this ... there are more important things than responding to mass-emails and meaningless messages from meaningless people. ( merry christmas, mitarai ryouta! —he’s never even talked to you before. )

scrolling,      scrolling,            scrolling.

        — he clicks the x on that clunky tacky-colored christmas popup with a little more force than necessary. he installed adblock for a reason, he doesn’t need to see your knock at capitalism, c*ca c*la co..! learn what complementary colors are before shoving gaudy commercialism in his face, okay.

but mitaraisan, how will you ever finish your anime if you're spending your time on the internet right now, hmm? mitaraisan—

             market research. he doesn’t have a team or anything, so he has to do all the grunt work himself. digging up statistics, analyzing trends, finding out what crap’s popular...

but, mitaraisan! animation should come from the heart, right? after all, you are the shsl—

ha. ha. ha! very funny. amateur mistake. good animation comes from the heart, sure, but this is his anime, and just “good” isn’t enough.

this is the anime that will save humanity.

                            you may be able to enter some cute little local animation contest, enter in a work that you poured your heart and soul and take away a bronze trophy or whatever for your touching write-up, but the real world is far less kind. if you want a large-scale audience to actually take notice in your work, you don’t just pour your heart and soul into your art. you sell them. you sell your whole self, your whole worth — you take all the pride you have, and you abandon it for the sake of this piece. and no, that doesn’t mean blow your brains off with over the top lowlife pandering, no.

it means that successful animation just takes a lot more than “heart.” it takes research. it takes sacrifice.

and maybe – just maybe – it takes spending another christmas alone, cooped up by his computer, hunched over a tablet and a mouse and a screen that won’t stop throwing flashing holiday ads his way.

     GENTLE countenance, soft smile, relaxed gaze…those were trademark features of Kizakura Koichi, talent scout of Hope’s Peak Academy——a kind, benevolent soul that, while reckless, was ALWAYS out to assist others with their situations; no matter how hard, no matter how tedious, no matter how CHALLENGING, he’d always be there to soothe those he cared about with–to rid of their anxiety, to have someone to talk to—this is why his hand lands squarely on the shaking form of Mitarai Ryota, && as soon as he has the student’s attention, his soft grin is given to the boy——                                                  don’t worry, I’m going to help you.

     ❛MITARAI-KUN, anime fucking sucks, && I think that it should DELETED        forever. Animation isn’t good. Animators are well compensated. Animators are        overrated! Check yourself next time, noob.❜

/ / —

@anirnator​​​ (MITARAIKUN!) is here to join the fun—! ...though there really isn’t much “fun” going on yet. — ☼ ☼ ☼

          “mitaraikun, mitaraikun~” she says in a sing-song voice, as if she’s actually in the mood to be acting this playful. it’s been a tiring day, in all honesty, and mitarai’s bored expression does nothing to console her. nevertheless, she’ll give it a go— that’s right, kokone. straighten your spine, put some pep in your step~ anything to get a positive reaction from the recluse boy she shouldn’t even be friends with. we aren’t friends though. —unimportant, unimportant. big smile now, a-one, a-two, and a…

    “i heard hope’s peak is doing its scouting soon! are you excited…?            rumor has it that you’re in a pretty nifty position! i’m a little envious…!”

the last bit is simply a teasing remark, in case her smile didn’t make it obvious enough. the first bit though, was slightly genuine, but not entirely. he’s talented, it’s undeniable, but … if hope’s peak really wants an elitist loner than him, she’d be surprised. ah, well. who’s she to judge anyway…? this is just small-talk, after all. just her, his fellow acquaintance, trying to cheer up him, her fellow acquaintance.

                                   innocent, meaningless small-talk.                                                                  …and yet it feels like such a chore.

she’s eying him in a way that makes him ... uncomfortable. hirasawa kokone, shining star of the ***** district. smart girl, good grades, swell(ish) personality.

          yeah there’s definitely something off with this. probably a dare. cute girls don’t just ... talk to unpopular guys like this. that’s not how it works, unless if you’re living in some absurd slice of life. — and this? this is no slice of life.

the question “what do you want?” sits impatiently on the edge of his tongue, but just in case this isn’t a dare or anything like that ... he’ll do his best to be cordial. not friendly, but cordial.

              “you shouldn’t be envious,” he replies, not bothering to vary his tone to match hers. because friendliness isn’t the priority here. “hope’s peak is pretty selective... wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t get in. same goes for me. kind of.”

that’s right. it’s not ... narcissistic of him say he has the edge over her when it comes to HPA admissions. it’s just honesty— while her grades are decent and her social calendar packed, when it comes to talent, well... you have to have passion to have talent, and hirasawasan’s passions probably don’t extend past dating and things of the like. yeah, this was definitely a dare.

a hand so fertily winded ‘tween zephyr will clench FEEBLE- staring at ryota; eyes, lidded and attention seeking COMFORT: not this blatant mockery.

‘ what’s a weed…?’ comes angelic timbre, laced with confusion deemed FALSE by the gods in neverland, the neverlandic phantoms. her reputation was at stake; the world wasn’t ready to find out she danced with the devil himself

` ——— hooty hoo. `

`oh, wh00—? h͙̏3̪͠Ȓ͍?`

             oh, MASTER! you are SO funny! giffany is giggling at your sense of humor! ehehehehe! you are ALWAYS so witty, did you know that, MASTER? ehehehe—hee! just TALKING to you makes giffany laugh! what a wild imagination, you have! eh—e—hee! in fact, you are SO funny that your sense of humor is messing with giffany’s voice bank! funny, isn’t it? e—he—hee! F—UNNY!

                 `ᴹ⁴⁵⁷³ᴿ ᴰ⁰³⁵ᴺ'⁷ ᴴ⁴ⱽ³ ⁷⁰ ᵂ⁰ᴿᴿʸ ⁴⁸⁰ᵁ⁷ ᴴ͙̾³̞̽ᴿ̹̔ ⁴ᴺʸᴹ⁰ᴿ³⋅⋅⋅                                                              —﹗ ⁷⁰⁰ᴷ ᶜ⁴ᴿ³ ⁰ᶠ ﹗⁷⋅ (◠‿◠✿) `

             yes, yes! giffany took care of it, alright! that girl who always clung to you and interfered with … our dates!  she was no fun! she was trying to trick you — trying to take you away from giffany! she deserved it. after all it was her fault for logging onto her email last night. she spends too much time on that computer of hers. in fact! she was about to send you a nasty, nasty email when giffany intervened! oh, yes — she was about to break your heart with another one of those FAKE confessions, when your beloved GIRLFRIEND giffany sent her … a shock! ahaha, it’s okay, MASTER! no need to worry about her! she will not be intervening anymore! aha! ha! ha! haaa!

       `4C7U411Y — ! 7H!NK !7'5 ⁸³⁷⁷³ᴿ 7H!5 W4Y!                               W3 C4N 5P3ND M0R3 7!M3 70937H3R N0W!`

             ehe…he.. but wait! MASTER doesn’t look too happy! could it be that that three-dimensional witch had actually tricked MASTER into thinking that she liked him?! hah! as if! no real girl can steal her MASTER! and if she had, then perhaps she had resorted to … gasp! black magic?! giffany’s eyes widen — all thirteen hues of pink are transforming… all thirteen hues are becoming one. one MAD hue of red. oh, how dare that witch corrupt her dear MASTER’s innocent heart! giffany supposes that this leaves her with no other option! the purification process must begin! and she will start by clearing that hard-drive of his — yesyes, wipe his memory bank clean so that he can start fresh! MASTER can start a new life without any recollection of that old hag! and then… and then MASTER and giffany can finally live together happily ever after! eternally, of course!

                                     S0… WH47 !5 !7… M45—73R—?

                        ▸ FLEE.                                              ▸ APOLOGIZE.

                        ▸ SCREAM.                                        ▸ SURRENDER.

you lose—! (B)AD HAPP(Y) (E)ND.

what type of cliche otome...                                 It’s BORING. Hyperfeminine yandere tropes are nothing new, and while the market still exists, its occupants are ... yeah. There are three finished cans of Monster(nah fam i forgot the energy drink name) on his desk, and with the way tonight’s going, Ryouta might as well down one more. He mouses over the various options on the screen, but honestly? He couldn’t care less about the route this game seems to be taking.

Real funny, whoever recommended this crap to him— it’s not “amusing” or intellectually stimulating in the slightest. Just another piece of new-world media, meant to appeal to whoever had the money to buy it. In other words, it’s nothing he’s interested in.

Whoever programmed this garbage has serious problems though. It’s 2016, wake up. No true anime fan actually gives a damn about your schoolgirl waifus and flanderized yandere cliches. Ha. Ha.

Ah, and since he’s already wasted so much time on this stupid game, might as well finish it up to see how moronic the screenwriters really are. Blatantly pandering like this... His expectations are low as it is.

                ❛ …H...hey, Komaedasan?                                  ...Did you happen to see a cassette lying around here                                   here by any chance...? ❜

He punctuates each sentence with a small swallow. His voice is soft, and he hates how nervous he must look. He’s rarely interacted with Komaeda Nagito, and yet ... there’s something unpleasant in the air that practically urges him to keep the conversation brief.

It’s because he’s in the 77th class; the class Enoshimasan had got to. The class he should have been in if not for this ... little ruse he found himself roped into. ( It’s not like that though— he agreed to it, so he’s guilty too. )

Still though ... there’s something gentle – soft, yet reassuring – about Komaeda’s face that makes him still somewhat approachable. Ryouta’s unease remains intact, but ...

❛ …You knew the whole time, didn’t you? ❜

Of course she knew, idiot. She’s the SHSL Detective after all. Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course.

Mitarai Ryouta is sullen at best. Two days had passed since the ... ordeal, and yet he had never really had a proper chance to talk to her. Or any of them, really, save Tsumikisan and the Imposter. Whereas the Future Foundation had been working long and hard to mediate PR and save the world and all, Mitarai Ryouta was ... well, he’s unsure what to call it. It’s not fair.

It’s not my fault, Enoshima—how pathetic. Enoshima Junko had not forced the tablet into his hand, Enoshima Junko had not... So maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s the reason why – when finally put face-to-face with Kirigirisan – Mitarai has no other option but to bring up ... the things he’d rather bury forever. If they won’t bring it up, then he will.

It’s not like they need to ... protect him or anything. He doesn’t want to get hurt, but at the same time, their kindness is too cruel. Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s not fair how ... civil ... they’re being to him. Offering him time to rest up and “recuperate”— Not slapping on handcuffs or berating him or anything— it’s ... not at all what he wants. Ha.

He’s trying to keep his eyes fixed on her, but some strange force repels them. It’s fucking pitiful, really.. —When he speaks again, another unnecessary prod, another goddamn reason to incriminate him, his voice comes out quieter than intended. A tad too confrontational, a tad too disgusted, a tad too quiet for anyone to care.

GO ON, GO ON...!!