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Yeah, it’s @anotherspaceboy (it’s not linking for some reason, sorry)

The panel consisted of a surprisingly diverse amount of people for a religious college in small town Iowa-

-a bisexual woman

-two trans men, one older with three kids and one younger but both have had top surgery

-three pansexual women

-a gay guy

-an amab male-attracted nonbinary person

The panel was nice, a little awkward at times and kind of cringy at some parts, but overall very sweet and uplifting. One of the trans guys, Brian, the younger one, had a story that was so jarringly similar to mine.

I took the PSAT yesterday and I didn’t know what to put for my sex so I asked my guidance counselor (who was administering the test) and he said to just leave it blank and he’d figure it out. I would’ve put female because that’s what I am, and legally as well until I have surgery, but my school records list male and I’m assuming there’d be an issue if it conflicted with my school records. Also we put in my request for a name change on my birth certificate in June and they still haven’t contacted us and it’s making me anxious. They said it’d take four to six weeks but uh... it’s been way longer than that. My mom said she’d call them but she keeps procrastinating, and she wants me to figure out how to change my social security card on my own but just looking at the steps to do it makes me feel sick. I want all of this done already. I can’t apply for a new job until all of my documents are in order. I want at least my correct name on my drivers license, but that looks like a long ways off.

Of course I’m willing to give advice :) 

I’ll preface by saying that I can’t determine if you’re trans or not, only you (and a mental health professional if you decide you would like to medically transition and need a dysphoria diagnosis, obviously) can figure out for yourself if you’re trans or not. 

It’s hard to be sure because there could be multiple reasons for the things you’ve described, so here’s some questions for you to ask yourself:

-Do I like going by a gender-neutral name and being called a guy because it feels fun/novel or because it feels more right than being called a girl/female name?

-Does my chest feel wrong because it’s supposed to be like a male’s or because I think it looks ugly/fat/makes me sexualized by men? 

-If I could wake up as a biological male, would I feel better having a dick? (This was a hard question for me, because I’ve always found dicks kind of gross, but I experimented with packing and found that it really helped me, so you never know! I didn’t think I had bottom dysphoria because my other sources of dysphoria were so bad that it overshadowed my lower parts, but now I recognize that bottom dysphoria does exist for me.)

-Do I think I’m going through a phase because people have told me that being trans is a phase, because I want it to be a phase so I don’t have to deal with the ramifications of being trans, or because I actually think it’s a phase and I’m going to grow out of it?  (If you genuinely think it’s a phase, I’d obviously hold off on making any drastic movements, and it’s always a good idea to give yourself time in general! Figuring yourself out isn’t a race.)

He was taking attendance and called out my name with some confusion. When I raised my hand, he looked right at me and said, “You look nothing like your picture, you know.” My picture was from when I had long hair still.

With a sinking heart I said, “Yes, I know.” By this point everyone in my small class is just watching us.

He said, “Have you seen this?” to me, referencing the photo. I nodded. It’s my school photo. It’s on my school ID and in my school app. I hate it.

“Too many times.” I laughed a little, hoping he would catch the hint. He instead shoved the photo in front of my face in case I needed the reminder once more.

“How long ago was it taken?”

“I don’t know. Two years? Actually, no, just one.” I was desperately twirling my earbuds in my hand.

He kept just staring at me. “What grade are you in?”

“I’m a junior.”

“It’s just... it looks so different.” I kept nodding and plastering a stupid grin on my face. Imagine my horror when he goes over to show it to a group of my classmates- one of whom I’m not out to.

“It’s ok if I show them it right?” he said after he already showed it to them. Before he went back to his desk he said, “I think I’ve had you in class before.”

It’s hard to say exactly because dysphoria is different for everybody, but generally I think it’s safe to say that expressing your love for him and reminding him that you’re there for him would be a good way to help support him. Other ways of helping the dysphoria specifically depend upon the individual and their comfort levels. If you’re comfortable with it, you could ask him how you could help directly. I’m sure he’d appreciate how much you care about him :)