Dear Crazy

I tell you, I need space, but boundaries are hard to press down onto, put into place, spread apart. If I tell you I don’t want to have sex, will you tell me it’s okay? The vampire in me draws you in, but as soon as I have you, I don’t know what to do with you. The only way I know desire is to watch you salivate over me, as I smell the blood moving forcefully through your veins.

in the therapist’s office you become dissociative flesh & from above you can see your interior’s ecology

That first star: it can do nothing to save us from ourselves, from those men, all ivory and ache. The first star weeps. Because to bear witness is a burden. And we cannot sleep. Leave your body: as ghost step into atramentous.

girl hungry girl you unstitched razor girl blade girl grubby necked & spitting girl or swallowing headdown girl stomach pitted fine girl gumming to sidewalk catcalled girl escape girl o plucking bones from graves girl rising girl rising & rising girl teach me again how to live that loose that tumble down before I slit the vein girl & never mother us whole

We burn ourselves alive from the inside.

When I go to the doctor, they hand me paperwork with a chart to locate my pain. I can’t pinpoint it. I “X” my whole body. My entire life.

My mother says he has to be in the ground for these poems to be born.