The Writing Corner

Editing Software:

StyleWriter 4 is fantastic. It’s an add-on for Microsoft word and has a 14-day trial period. It goes through your text, picks out “glue words”, misspellings, long sentences, homonyms, passive tense, shows your reading grade level, and more.

Editminion *FREE* checks for adverbs, weak words, passive voice, cliches, and homonyms among other things.

Pro Writing Aid is another online editor. It is mostly free, but offers more features if you pay.

AutoCrit offers free analysis for under 500 words, otherwise you have to pay for more text and more editing features.

Paper Rater offers a free service for editing, but it is designed for essays.

Formatting Checklist: This follows the general guide of formatting a manuscript in Microsoft word. However, some literary agents and editors have their own requirements.

Under the paragraph option, change the special indentation to first line at .5”. Change to document to double spaced.

There should be no spaces between paragraphs.

When showing a scene break, center # on a blank line.

Font should be easy to read. Courier New and Times New Roman are preferred at size 12.

All margins should be 1”.

Start chapters on a new page and put the chapter title 1/3 down the page. Write the chapter like so: CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER TITLE. Press return 4 - 6 times before starting the text of the chapter.

For the header, put YOUR NAME/BOOK TITLE/PAGE NUMBER in the upper right-hand corner. Start this header on the first page of the first chapter.

The cover page of your manuscript should have your name, word count, and contact information in the upper left-hand corner.

The title on the cover page should be in all caps. Your name should be underneath in all caps. If you use a pen name, write YOUR REAL NAME (WRITING AS PEN NAME).

At the end of the manuscript, start a new page and write END.

Self-Editing Checklist:

Spelling:

If you are using Microsoft word for your word processor, use the spell check. After that, go through the manuscript line by line to make sure everything is spelled right. You may have used “form” instead of “from” and skipped it because Microsoft word did not see it as misspelled.

Printing out your work or viewing it in another way (such as a pdf on an ereader) helps find these mistakes.

Beta readers can find what you missed as well.

Use editing software to check homonyms or look up a list of homonyms and find them in your document using ctrl + f. Check these words to make sure you used the right spelling.

Grammar and Style:

First use Microsoft word’s grammar checker, but be aware that it is not always right. Check grammar girl if you are unsure.

For dialogue, you can always pick up a professionally published book and look at how the dialogue tags are used, where commas are placed, and when other punctuation is used.

If you’re in school and your English teacher isn’t too busy, have them take a look at it.

Look out for prepositions. Most of the time, you can omit these words and the sentence will still make sense. Beginner writers use a lot of these in their writing and it slows the flow.

Check for adverbs. You’d be surprised at how many you use in your writing, sometimes up to five a page. Using a few in narration is okay, but only a few. Delete adverbs you find, especially those that end in “-ly”, and rewrite the sentences in necessary.

Delete gerunds and forms of “to be” if writing in past tense. Instead of “were running”, write “ran”.

Check subject-verb agreement.

Use correct dialogue tags. People don’t bark their words. They shout.

Two digit numbers should be written as words (twenty-seven) while numbers with more than two digits should be written with numbers (123).

Avoid passive verbs.

Vary sentence length.

Show with the five senses rather than telling.

Most of the time, you can delete the word “that”.

Avoid using “unique” or “significant” words too often.

Consistency:

Make sure all your font is the same size and type.

Make sure you have no plot holes. Use the comment feature in Microsoft Word to track these plots.

Make sure your time line is consistent.

The tone should fit the scene.

There should be one POV per scene. Unless you’re a brilliant writer and can pull off third person omniscient.

Verb tense should be consistent.

Keep track of the details you release of people, places, and things. The reader will remember if in one chapter you say your protagonist has blue eyes and in another you say green.

Pacing:

The whole book should flow in and out of fast paced scenes to keep your reader interested and slow scenes to give them a break.

The middle should not “sag”.

Sentences should flow smoothly.

Plot:

Keep track of all your plots and sub-plots. Readers will remember them.

There should be a beginning, middle, and end.

Is the initial problem at the beginning of the manuscript?

There should be at least one antagonist. This does no have to be a person.

Is there enough conflict?

There should be a resolution.

All scenes should have something to do with plot.

The climax should be the most exciting part.

Character:

The protagonist should change by the end of the book.

Make sure all characters who come in contact with one another have some kind of relationship, whether good or bad.

Characters must have motivation for everything.

The protagonist must want something right from the start of the conflict.

The protagonist needs to be captivating. The readers wants to root for the protagonist. This does not mean the protagonist needs to be likable all the time.

The readers likes to relate to characters. Make sure your characters are diverse enough that readers can identify with one.

Know who your protagonist is. The main character is not always the same. For example, Nick in The Great Gatsby is the main character, but Jay Gatsby is the protagonist. This is important to know while writing your query letter.

If you can delete a minor character from a scene and nothing changes, then delete that character.

Sometimes you can make two minor characters one without losing any essential parts of the story. If you can, do this.

All characters react and act.

Each character has his or her own life.

Dialogue:

Dialogue should be believable. Read it out loud.

Don’t go overboard with phonetic spelling if a character has an accent.

Dialogue should be informal and natural. It does not have to be grammatically correct.

Prose:

Avoid purple prose. I’ve never met anyone with “emerald eyes” or “hair of fire” (except for the Flame Princess).

Don’t use too many adjectives.

Avoid cliches.

Other:

Don’t info dump. Pace information through dialogue and narration.

The first sentence should spark interest, or at least the first three. If it does, the first paragraph should be the same. And the first 250 words. The goal is to get the reader past the first page.

Let your story rest. When you’re ready to edit, start at the end. Writers tend to get lazy at the end of their story whether they are writing it for the first time or revising it after revising the rest of the story.

I realised the other day that many of these occur in deleted scenes and I thought it’d be fun to compile a list! The below are scenes where characters are explicitly written to acknowledge that something is going on between the two, but for clarity's sake, I don’t believe anyone realises the full extent until much later down the road.

Mrs Hughes, S1E4 (Deleted Scene)

June 1913 (About ten days after Tom starts working at Downton, this woman is observant!)

64 EXT/INT. DOWNTON/DRAWING ROOM. DOWNTON. NIGHT.

Outside the drawing room windows, Branson is spying on this scene. His eyes gleam at the appearance of Sybil…

MRS HUGHES: Mr Branson!

She is standing at the corner of the house by the service courtyard. He springs back from the window and stares at her.

MRS HUGHES (CONT.): Don’t play with fire, Mr Branson. Or you’ll get burned.

She knows just what is going on.

A fun fact about this scene is that it was fully filmed and likely still exists somewhere, but I’ve never seen it released as a deleted scene! Apparently something went wrong with the filming of it, and it ended up looking very unnerving.

I find it interesting that Mrs Hughes is the first person to be explicitly stated as knowing what’s going on, at least from Tom's side. Her next acknowledgement isn’t until a full year later during the garden party, when she says “Be careful, my lad. Or you’ll end up with no job and a broken heart.” I doubt she could see the romance being reciprocated, nor what ends up coming next, but Tom is very lucky she didn’t report him! I wonder if she knew what was happening even before Tom did to a certain extent. I know that Tom Branson was originally written as 'John Branson', a three-episode character who gets fired for romancing Sybil, but his motivations seem to have changed when they made the changes we see on the show.

Matthew, S1E6

May 1914 (One year after Tom started working for the family)

As the thug falls, he catches her jaw. She goes down, gashing her temple on the edge of a table.

BRANSON: Oh, no. Oh, please God, no!

He takes her up in his arms, as tenderly as a father with his child. All of which is seen by Matthew.

This exchange takes place towards the end of the Count in Ripon. I’ve included this one even though there’s not much emphasis put onto this look in the episode itself, because I found it particularly interesting that it follows on from Tom's particular stage direction. If Matthew acknowledges it anything other than subconsciously, he doesn’t bring it up again.

Tom, During or Before S1E6

May 1914 (One year after starting to work for the family)

48 EXT. DOWNTON. NIGHT.

Matthew is helping Sybil into the house. Branson stands watching. Mary is also going in when Branson speaks.

BRANSON: She's not badly hurt, is she?

MARY: I don’t think so, no.

BRANSON: Thank God.

The force of his words is almost startling. She smiles.

MARY: Better be prepared. I’m afraid Lord Grantham will hit the roof.

BRANSON: I never would have taken her there. I may be a Socialist but I'm not a lunatic.

MARY: I'm not sure Papa knows the difference.

She smiles. The fact that she is joking makes things better.

BRANSON: You’ll let me know how she gets on? Please.

MARY: If you wish.

And she goes in, leaving the lovelorn chauffeur alone.

In the script book, this section comes with some commentary that says “We are beginning to understand that Branson has fallen for Sybil. But Mary simply doesn’t register that he has any special interest in her sister,” so I suppose we can also count this scene as the audience realising too. That being said, the scene of them talking about the gap between the aristocracy and the poor in the car says we should be getting a hint at the romance, so perhaps that would be more apt!

I wonder whether this is supposed to be when Tom realises he has fallen for her too, or if he was already aware prior to this. What a way to realise if it is! Realising you’ve fallen in love with your employer's youngest daughter, who also happens to be part of the aristocracy, who also is going to be presented in a few weeks, who is currently nursing an injury you may well lose your job over, even though you weren’t part of the plan. Can’t imagine that night ranks as one of his better nights of sleep.

Sybil, S1E7 (Deleted Scene)

August 1914 (A little over a year after Tom started working for the family)

Sybil comes out of the house and runs into the car.

SYBIL: Go! Quickly!

BRANSON: Where's the fire?

SYBIL: I have to put Gwen's letter through their door, and be back in time to dress for dinner.

BRANSON: I think it’s terrific, m'lady. What you’re doing. I think you’re terrific.

He turns as he says this, and since she is leaning forward, their faces are only a few inches apart. For a moment, they are just a young couple, flushed with excitement. Then she remembers herself, lowers her lashes, and sits back.

SYBIL: I don’t want to be terrific. I want to be successful.

When watching the proposal scene in S2E1, I got the sense that Sybil was already aware of Tom's affections towards her, and was possibly suppressing her own. This deleted scene is, to my knowledge, the first time Sybil explicitly realises that the way she acts with Tom is perhaps more than friendly, and catches herself. She’s still far from accepting that the two of them are even a possibility during the proposal two years later, and this seems to be the first time she takes notice of her actions and tries to put on the brakes, so to speak.

Anna (Potentially), S2E3

July 1917 (Four years after Tom starts working for the house)

56 INT. SYBIL'S BEDROOM. DOWNTON. SUMMER EVENING.

Anna carries in some clothes. She puts them away in a drawer. Then she sees that a folded note has blown off the dressing table. On it is written: ‘Lady Sybil’ and, on the back, ‘Forgive me’. She unfolds it, scans the writing and runs out.

I include this because Anna has found a note for Sybil, left in her bedroom, mind you, by Tom. Even though her immediate thoughts are to stop his protest against the general, which might put the origin of the note to the back of her mind, she has clearly read it and is very aware as to where she found it and who it was addressed to.

Interestingly, Anna doesn’t appear to have brought this up to anyone, not even to Mr Bates, who seems as shocked as everyone else when he learns about the relationship later down the line. Props to Anna for discreetly getting rid of the note before Carson got the chance to turn it around and read who it was addressed to! I wonder if Mrs Hughes was involved in this operation, as it could explain her push to get Branson let go later in the episode, though she does give this idea up with relatively little resistance when Carson dismisses it. As a male member of staff, it would be down to Carson to make the decision after all, and I think Mrs Hughes does have a bit of a soft spot for Tom.

Mary, S2E4

March 1918 (Nearly five years after Tom starts working for the family)

Mary's is quite interesting because unlike a lot of the others who find have an explicit stage direction to explain when they’ve figured out something is amiss, Mary finds out in phases. From the commentary in the script book, it appears that Mary is aware as to the implications of what was going on before she asks why Branson was speaking with her outside the garage. Mary later, however, seems baffled that there may be something between the two, though this may be because Sybil somewhat admits that she herself is aware of it, and seems to be considering it to the point that Mary's warnings are considered by Sybil to be “not on her side.” I’ve included snippets of all three scenes where Mary seems to be coming to the realisation.

MARY REALISES SOMETHING IS GOING ON

BRANSON: I might have, if it hadn’t been put down in six short bloody weeks. But don’t fret. The real fight for Ireland will come after the war, and I’ll be ready for it.

Mary, unseen by them, has entered the yard. She cannot hear them, but she can see the intensity with which they talk.

BRANSON (CONT'D): The truth is, I’ll stay at Downton until you want to run away with me.

SYBIL: Don’t be ridiculous.

BRANSON: You’re too scared to admit it, but you’re in love with me.

MARY SUSPECTS THERE MIGHT BE MORE TO IT

MARY: What were you talking to Branson about when I came into the yard.

SYBIL: Nothing.

MARY: Then why were you there?

SYBIL: Why were you there?

MARY: Because I was ordering the motor. That is why one talks to chauffeurs, isn’t it? To plan journeys by road?

SYBIL: He is a person. He can discuss other things.

MARY: I’m sure he can, but not with you.

SYBIL: What do you want from me? Am I to see if Sir Richard Carlisle has a younger brother? One who’s even richer than he is?

MARY: Darling, what’s the matter with you? I’m on your side.

SYBIL: Then be on my side!

SYBIL CONFESSES, AND MARY GRAPPLES WITH THE IDEA

SYBIL: I don’t deserve to be told off, not by her or by you. Nothing's happened.

Now this, of course, is an admission. Mary looks at her.

MARY: Why? What might have happened?

[…]

MARY: We are talking about…?

SYBIL: Branson. Yes.

MARY: The chauffeur, Branson.

SYBIL: Oh, how disappointing of you.

MARY: I’m just trying to get it straight in my head. You and the chauffeur.

I find it particularly interesting that Mary's realisation of the Sybil/Branson dynamic seems to mirror Sybil's own serious consideration of Tom's proposal. Previously, it appears that Tom and Sybil have returned to being good friends, with a possibility that Sybil returns Tom's affections subconsciously (though a note in an earlier scene implies that, to Branson at least, he feels he must win her over). In this episode, both before and after Mary confronts Sybil about her conversation with Tom, Sybil has two separate scenes (one deleted, one present in the final cut) dedicated to her considering Tom's earlier words, bordering on the point of distraction. Later, in the garage, Sybil seems to have put some real stock into her consideration of Tom's plan when she asks if his people will accept her, or if they'll always see her as “the girl with the poisonous past. The Anglican aristo. The freak.”

Mary and Sybil do have a close sibling dynamic, and it’s particularly interesting to me that pretty much as soon as Sybil appears to start seriously considering Tom's proposal, she tells Mary. Though admittedly, after Mary's threats to tell their father, Sybil seems to shut Mary out of any further thoughts she might have on the matter.

Edith, S2E7 (Deleted Scene)

February 1919 (A little over five and a half years since Tom started working for the house)

46 INT. EDITH'S BEDROOM. DOWNTON. NIGHT.

Edith is hurriedly fastening a day skirt.

EDITH: But if they’ve taken the car -

MARY: They’ve taken the old car. You’ll have to drive the Daimler.

Edith looks at her sister, still in evening dress.

EDITH: You’d better get changed, too.

Mary looks at Anna in her maid's outfit.

MARY: And you, if you’re coming with us. Get the keys back to Mrs Hughes and meet us in the stableyard. And for God's sake, don’t tell anyone.

Anna nods and hurries away.

Sometime shortly before this scene takes place, Edith must have been told about the elopement note, so I’ve highlighted the first line. I wonder if Edith remembers some of the earlier warning signs now that the relationship is spelt out for her in the elopement letter. Let’s hope her driving lessons with Branson earlier in the season have paid off!

The Dowager Countess, S2E8

April 1919 (Nearly six years after Tom started working for the house)

During this, Branson has walked in. Now Robert notices him.

ROBERT: Yes?

BRANSON: I’m here.

ROBERT: So I can see.

There is a strange pause. Sybil stands and goes to him.

SYBIL: I don’t think this is such a good idea. We mustn’t worry Granny…

BRANSON: You’ve asked me to come and I’ve come.

VIOLET: Would someone please tell me what’s going on? Or have we all stepped through the looking glass?

BRANSON: Your grandmother has as much right to know as anybody else.

VIOLET: Why don’t I find that reassuring?

There’s an interesting note in the commentary of this scene, saying “Of course, when Violet asks whether they have all stepped through the looking glass, she demonstrates that she knows what’s going on. She hopes she’s wrong, but she knows she isn’t, really.” Unlike Robert, who hasn’t seem to have clocked it just yet, it seems the Dowager's earlier suspicions around Sybil having a secret beau have been confirmed, and now she has both a face and a name to the beau in question. Maybe this earlier realisation contributes somewhat to her calmer line of questioning later in the scene.

Robert, Cora, Lavinia, and Mr Carson, S2E8

April 1919 (Nearly six years after Tom started working for the house)

12 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNTON. EVE.

They are all completely stunned, including Carson. Robert is standing and, at this moment, interrogating Mary.

Finally, it seems everyone is on the same boat. With the exception of Mary, Edith, and to a lesser extent, Cora, however, it doesn’t seem that everyone is convinced that the damage can’t yet be undone.

Miss O'Brien (Potentially), S2E8 (Deleted Scene)

April 1919 (Nearly six years after Tom started working for the house)

13 INT. CORA'S BEDROOM. DOWNTON. DAY.

A new day. O'Brien is dressing Cora.

O'BRIEN: Lady Mary and Lady Edith are with Miss Swire in the drawing room.

CORA: Of course. The flowers for the wedding. It’s good to have something else to talk about. Oh -

I’m not entirely certain whether the implication here is that the topic of Sybil and Tom's announcement has come up in the morning's conversation. Regardless, the talk soon turns to Thomas finding a job, which continues down in the servants' hall, so whether O'Brien understands what this comment is in reference to or not, the moment passes. The more I think about it, the more I'm inclined to say Miss O'Brien wasn’t aware, because no matter how much she wants to make her ladyship's life easier, I can’t see her not bringing this up with Thomas downstairs. Either way, she'll find out soon enough!

Daisy, Mr Bates, Thomas, Jane, and Others, S2E8

April 1919 (Nearly six years after Tom started working for the house)

(Featuring a very blurry GIF because it was the best I could find!)

Branson arrives in the doorway.

ANNA: Mr Branson, I know it wasn’t easy last night. I’m sorry I missed you.

BRANSON: I’m not. There’s been too much deceit and too many lies. That’s one thing I'll grant his lordship. We should have spoken out long ago.

DAISY: Spoken out about what?

BRANSON: Ah, why not? Lady Sybil and I are getting married.

This is like an earthquake. Carson appears in the doorway.

CARSON: Have you no shame?

BRANSON: I’m sorry you feel like that, Mr Carson. You’re a good man. But no, I have no shame. In fact, I have great pride in the love of that young woman. And I will strive to be worthy of it.

CARSON: I will not disgrace myself by discussing the topic, and nor will anyone else. Now, if you will go, Mr Branson, we will continue with our day. Leave an address where we may forward what is owing to you.

BRANSON: No problem there, Mr Carson. I’ll be at the Grantham Arms in the village until Lady Sybil is ready to make her departure. I bid you all a good day.

He goes. The company is, in common parlance, gobsmacked.

Though there’s a scene the night before, where Anna comes rushing in looking for Branson in the servants' hall, and Mr Bates and O'Brien have a short exchange about it, and an additional scene where Jane sees Branson in the Great Hall and asks Anna about it, the scene the following morning seems to be when everyone collectively not only clocks the Sybil/Branson dynamic, but hears that, of all things, the two are getting married. I always wish we got to see more of their reactions, but the little we do conveys the shock very well. What I’d give to be a fly on the wall when Carson leaves the servants' hall that morning!

And there we have it!

i don’t believe in types. i believe in people.