lyn ♡

the redhead woman — who he now knows as himeko — is but two steps behind, and when he meets her gaze, she only smiles. he isn’t quite sure of what he thinks of her. there hasn’t been much of an impression to make, from their departure off that ipc spacecraft to his arrival on the express.

“take a seat wherever you want,” she tells him, gesturing around the parlour car. “i’ll go and fetch the others. i’m sure they’ll be glad to meet you.”

he doubts that somewhat, but does as she says. he picks the seat at one of the round tables, facing the glittering expanse that is the universe beyond the window. he wonders if the luofu is within any of the galaxies he is looking at too.

the train’s conductor greets him first, before himeko returns. it introduces itself as pom-pom, and if he is any surprised at the sight, he does well not to show it. 

“you must be the newest member of the crew,” a new voice pipes in. 

his gaze snaps up to you immediately. he hadn’t noticed you walking up to him, which is odd, for he is normally far more attentive than that. he sweeps his eyes over you quickly. you’re dressed plainly, and much more casually than anyone he’s come across thus far. your hair is done just as simply. there’s a grin on your face, suave and bright.

you offer him a hand. “himeko mentioned you’d be coming. call me [name].”

“my name is dan heng.”

he returns your handshake, and you seat yourself across him. 

“dan heng,” you repeat, deliberate and slow, as if you were testing the way his name rolls off your tongue. he feels your eyes on him just as his had been on you mere seconds before. “you have a nice name.”

glancing away, he speaks nothing in reply. what is he to say to that?

just then, himeko returns with a brunet man in tow, who introduces himself as welt yang. the greetings are kept brief, but now, he has acquainted himself with the entire astral express crew. together, everyone has lunch prepared specially by pom-pom themself.

when he is finished, you stand, and his gaze draws to you as you do.

“come with me,” you say, jerking a thumb toward the door on the other side of the parlour. “i’ll show you to your room.”

he stands, following suit. you decide to give him a tour of the express while you’re at it, walking him from one end of the train to the other. you have a way with words, he thinks, your silence never awkward and your chatter never grating.

“how long have you been a nameless?” he finds himself asking.

you hum, tilting your head slightly. “almost a year now, if i’m not wrong. before that, i spent about half a decade wandering the cosmos until himeko recruited me. what about you?”

he doesn’t quite know what to say. he had nowhere to go but the express, and he finds himself reluctant to tell you that.

at his complicated expression, you let out a low laugh. “you don’t have to answer that if you’re don’t want to. it’s all good — anyway, this is it. it’s a little bare now, but you’ll have time to decorate it as you please.”

sliding open the door, you reveal a simple, quaint bedroom specially prepared for him. it is not much different from a hotel room, but your words ring true. he’d have all the time in the universe to personalise it. that is, if he were to stay.

he shakes his head lightly. “there is no need. i’m only staying temporarily.”

“then, where else are you going to sleep?” you ask. raising a brow, the corners of your lips upturn just the slightest. “don’t tell me you’ll be sleeping in the archives?”

to your mild consternation, that is exactly where he chooses to sleep.

“are you sure you don’t want to use your bedroom?” you confirm with him for the nth time. 

it is not as bad as you assume it is, really. it is infinitely better than many of the places he has slept in.

“i’m sure,” he tells you. “it’s not worth the hassle.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

it is barely morning when dan heng steps out of the archives, bound for the kitchens. he hardly slept that night, only managing a fitful rest after hours of tossing and turning. the bed had been too soft, the silence too loud, and the calm too unnerving. it is… a lot to get used to.

he’d fix himself a simple breakfast before getting started on handling the data bank. that, is something he is looking forward to doing. 

as he walks by your bedroom, he realises your light is on, its glow shining through the crack under the door. he isn’t expecting anyone else awake at this hour, much less you.

your door slides open just before he passes.

“oh, it’s just you.” you smile, and it is beneath the light he can see the bags under your eyes. he hadn’t paid enough attention to notice them yesterday. you lick your lips, and your voice is slightly coarse as you speak. “good morning. did you sleep well?”

“probably about as well as you did,” he returns. 

you throw back your head and laugh, and he doesn't suppress the soft chuckle that leaves his lips either. shutting your bedroom door behind you, you decide to accompany him to the kitchens. he falls into step with you with ease.

“i never sleep well,” you tell him, combing your hair back with your fingers. “not anymore, at least.”

“do you have nightmares?” he asks tentatively.

you shake your head, waving your open palm in a so-so motion. “not really. maybe. one day, i just… couldn’t go to sleep anymore. you?”

he recalls all those nights on the rough, hard ground, chains around his limbs and a biting cold bone deep. any sleep he got had been stolen in slivers. after that, hopping from ship to ship, there hadn't been any chance for him to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. he nods. a good night’s rest was a luxury few seemed able to afford.

“the bed is… softer than i am accustomed to,” he finds himself admitting.

you let out a soft ah. “i know that feeling all too well.”

he goes silent then, and is thankful that you’re not one to pry. when the both of you arrive at the kitchens, he reaches for a loaf of bread. you put a hand on his arm before he can. he falters, glancing at you curiously.

“if you're not in a hurry, i can whip up something nicer to eat than just bread. i don't like to brag, but i’d say i cook pretty well.”

“it's alright. it’s nothing i’m unused to.” frankly, he’s had much worse. troubling you any further is simply unnecessary. “still, thank you. i appreciate the offer.”

you shrug with a crooked grin. “it’s your loss. at least toast the bread, won’t you?”

that, he can do. he even spreads jam over it.

days pass.

more and more mornings go by just the same, and the both of you fall into an easy routine. sometimes, the two of you talk and talk and talk until your coffee goes cold and his bread goes stale. sometimes, you don't exchange a word.

whatever the case, there is no doubt that you’ve become his friend.

he isn’t used to having friends. he isn't used to much of anything at all, really. he is stilted and awkward and stiff, and you are everything he is not — your grins come easy and your laughter rings carefree, your words charming and your movement fluid. it is obvious that whilst you are no older than he is, you have lived for far longer than he has. 

whatever the case, he cannot deny that he enjoys being your friend. 

“hey, we are friends, right?” you ask him one day, nursing a steaming mug of coffee in your hands. 

he dips his head. “i would presume so. why do you ask?”

“nothing, nothing. i was just checking.” you smile then, wide enough your teeth show and the corners of your eyes crinkle. subconsciously, he smiles too. just the slightest. “i haven't had a friend for a very long time now.”

neither has he.

—

the process of revisiting the route is not easy, mostly due to the numerous roadblocks caused by stellarons. sometimes, the crew encounters the huge monsters dan heng had defeated before. you are swift, quick on your feet and even quicker with your blade. he watches as the beast is eviscerated to bits.

“you fight well,” he compliments you, and wonders for how long you have been fighting.

“aw, thanks — you don’t do too bad yourself,” you say. 

he digresses. he had been careless, slipping too deep into the familiarity of a battle that he acted before he could think. yet that phantom memory was not his, and for that, he had almost been hurt. he can still feel the ghost of your touch on his wrist, from when you had pulled him out of an arrow’s path.

your voice draws him out of his thoughts then. “dan heng, watch this.”

grinning, you show off — tossing your daggers into the air, catching them with an elaborate twirl. after that, you sheath them as if nothing had ever happened at all. there’s something wild in your smile, vicious in your eyes. with the thrill of the fight still thrumming in your veins, you’ve never looked more alive.

noting the sweat that clings to your skin, he hands you a handkerchief before you resort to wiping it away with your sleeve. you take it, thanking him once more.

“i believe the entire area has been cleared. we should head back onto the express now.”

but you wave away his words, gaze trained on something behind him. “no, wait. not yet. what’s that?”

he turns, and all he sees is an enormous chunk of floating ice — encased in which is a living girl.

“you… truly do not remember a thing?”

the girl shakes her head, a frown marring her face. mr. yang had found a way to thaw the ice that enveloped her, and upon waking, a few major issues began to surface. namely, her amnesia.

“it’s all good,” you say kindly. “you’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. you can call me [name].”

she beams, accepting the offer, and with that, the crew gains another member. 

“thank you! your name is really pretty, did you know that? mine is —” the smile on her face freezes. she falters. “mine is… uh… hm, do you have the date?”

“march 7th,” you supply helpfully.

dan heng steals a glance at you, surprised. he wonders what planet that calender system comes from. the astral express uses the one mandated by the ipc, and he had been taught the one of the xianzhou alliance. not that he ever had the chance to use it.

“you still keep track of the date of your home planet?” he asks.

shrugging, you nod. “yeah. old habits die hard, i’m afraid.”

“i guess you all can call me march 7th for now,” she says brightly. “to commemorate the day i was reborn.”

you laugh. “that’s cool. then, march 7th it is.”

—

a new dawn begins.

the astral express has stationed itself on herta’s space station for the time being, to help with its repairs, and to stock up on supplies. the girl with a stellaron sealed within her body — stelle, as she had dubbed herself — wanders both the express and the station, living as if it were her first time alive.

you seem particularly fond of her, dan heng notes.

he is being swarmed by a group of researchers whilst stelle sits in a corner, with you patching up her wounds. she had been fighting off a swarm of monsters in the storage facility alone, and the two of you only found her after the battle was basically over. then, the crowd began to gather before the three of you could return to the express.

“you’re the guard of the express, right?”

“i am, yes.”

“that’s so cool!”

he wonders how things have taken this turn. for the entire duration of the conversation, the researchers have been focused on nothing else but him. it’s unnerving. he cannot fathom their goal in doing so.

his gaze finds you easily. he watches as stelle leans over, muttering something he does not catch into your ear. you laugh, whispering back, and it is when you raise your head that your eyes meet his. amused, you raise a brow. he can read the question in your eyes.

need help?

shaking his head minutely, he suppresses the urge to glance away, mildly embarrassed at having been caught staring. 

you shrug, mouthing. your loss.

someone else clears their throat, drawing his attention to him. a man, this time, who’s smile reminds him of yours.

“can i have your number?”

an arm slings around his shoulders then, before he can respond to the researcher’s request. he staggers slightly, and he can hear the murmured chuckle under your breath. he relaxes into it, almost instinctively.

oh, he thinks. it’s only you.

there’s a glint of mischief in your eyes, a wolfish grin tugging on your lips. you dip your head, murmuring something into his ear just as stelle had done to you earlier. what leaves your lips is an apology. but what for? he —

— you kiss him.

his ears ring. faintly, he can feel several pairs of eyes boring into him, into you, and into what seemed to be a lingering kiss. yet all he can wrap his mind around is the tip of your nose against his skin, your warm breath fanning over his cheek. it is not a kiss. it is not a kiss.

“sorry guys,” you declare, twirling back to face the group of researchers. they stare at you, stunned silent. you don’t mind a bit, your smile only brightening. “but he’s taken.”

disappointment ripples through the small crowd, and they disperse quickly after that.

sharply, he exhales. you release him from your hold hastily. stelle bursts into laughter. 

“i’m sorry,” you say quickly. “you just looked like you needed help, and that was the fastest way to get them off your back. are you alright?”

he turns to you, dazed, body taut as a bowstring. he doesn’t think he’ll be alright for the next few system days, at the very least. “i — i’m alright. thank you for the assistance. though your method was certainly rather… startling.”

“that’s definitely one word for it,” stelle adds in, wiping a tear from her eye.

you roll your eyes. “stop being dramatic. they would’ve literally never stopped badgering him if they knew he was single.”

“what do you mean?” he finds himself asking. that was what they had wanted?

“i heard the lot of them making bets earlier, about who’d be first to get your number,” you explain. harrumphing, you continue, “but it’s not that i don’t see why. you are good looking.” 

stelle grins. “tall, dark and mysterious?”

you choke out a laugh, giving her a high-five. “right.”

it is then he is glad that your attention is not on him at that very moment. he's bewildered and flustered all the same. good looking? tall, dark and mysterious…? the both of you might as well be speaking in riddles. offhandedly, he thinks that if it were up to him, you'd be the one more popular.

“anyway, let's head back to the express now. dan heng, you coming?”

he nods, following after you two steps behind. and even as you chatter with stelle, he can't seem to will away the memory of your face mere inches from his.

—

you have missed breakfast for the third time in a row and it is mildly distressing. 

for five months has he been a passenger of the express, part of the astral crew, and for five months has dan heng had breakfast with you. he’s sure of that. though most days were repetitive and his memory blurred together, the morning was always a vivid constant.

“do you… know where [name] is?” he asks march that day, when she enters the archives in search of a book to read. 

she lets out a soft hum, her head dipping to her side. “she's probably with stelle. they've grown really close recently! why?”

“just curious,” he replies, casually. “it is unusual for [name] to not already be up at this hour.”

march laughs. “you know lots about [name], huh? by the way, how long have you two known each other? are you close?”

“it's only been a few months. we are friends.”

the door slides open then, and your presence filters through the air. he can see the grin on your face before he even turns to look. you seem to have awoken mere minutes beforehand, hair mussed and eyes slightly droopy with sleep.

“just friends?” you say, pouting playfully. “i thought we were best friends, at the very least.”

he says nothing to that, and march can't seem to stifle a giggle. swiftly, she plucks a book off a shelf and scampers away. he meets your gaze then, and you raise an eyebrow in question.

“you missed breakfast,” he says simply.

wincing lightly, you bring a hand to the base of your neck, expression sheepish. “ah. ‘m sorry, i overslept.”

“it’s alright,” he reassures you, gaze following your figure as you glide further into the archives.  

you jerk a thumb at his makeshift bed. “mind if i sit?”

he doesn’t. he shakes his head in reply, and with one smooth, sweeping motion, you settle yourself onto it. you move with a comfortable fluidity, so much so he assumes you have long since grown accustomed to things as simple as this. pressing down on his mattress, you watch it gradually regain its shape. then, you fluff up his pillow.

“i can’t believe you live like this,” you grumble, shooting him a dirty look. “there’s a perfectly good room for you to use.”

he huffs. “this arrangement is only —”

“only temporary, yeah, yeah, i know.”

with that, the topic is dropped there, and you move onto something else. you’ve recently been busy gaming with stelle, you tell him, oftentimes late into the night. you’d play and play and play until the moon dipped and the sun rose, until the two of you would black out from sheer exhaustion.

“that… doesn’t sound very healthy,” dan heng comments, a faint frown marring his face. “you should adopt a more consistent sleep schedule.”

you laugh, waving his words away. with a soft fwump, your back hits his bed, your arms spread wide and tangled in his sheets. you meet his gaze with a lazy, half-quirked smile. “sure, i’ll try. but honestly? i’ve slept more in the past few days than i’ve slept in years.”  

he only sighs. “whatever you say.”

he decides to carry on with his work, to before he had been interrupted by march and then you. he seats himself at his desk whilst you lounge on his bed. at first, you watch as he pores over books and archives, adjusting, keying in new entries, but you soon grow bored of it and turn your attention towards your phone.

“not gonna lie, your mattress is more comfortable than i expected,” you say suddenly. “it’s soft.”

it is. he can’t help but let out a soft chuckle.  

hours pass. a comfortable sort of silence has blanketed the room, after the short bouts of chatter he’d share with you died down and the sounds your game emits turn to nothing but white noise. he isn’t used to having someone in the room with him as he works, nor is he accustomed to spending so much time with someone alone.

it isn’t bad, he muses.

dinnertime approaches. he sets his pen down, getting up from his seat as he does. turning to you, he finds himself setting eyes upon an unexpected sight. 

you’re fast asleep, body twisted into odd angles but asleep nonetheless. your phone lies against your cheek, and you’ve somehow kicked his blanket onto the floor. he doesn’t know whether to wake you or to leave you be.

he sighs. he supposes you’d need all the sleep you could get. 

picking up the blanket, he sets it over your figure gently, careful not to rouse you. he then leaves for the parlour carriage.

he bumps into stelle along the way.

“is [name] not having dinner today?” she asks. “weren’t they with you?”

dan heng shakes his head lightly in response. “[name] fell asleep. i decided against waking them up.”

she nods approvingly. “that’s good.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

dan heng’s steps are light as he leaves the grand goethe hotel, only slightly behind march and stelle. the air is crisp, the sunlight warm, and light breeze teases the ends of his hair. it will be a good day, he thinks, almost certain.

the crisis in belobog has just recently been resolved with the help of the astral express crew. now, there is little left to do but enjoy the celebrations and festivities. even you will be disembarking from the express and meeting them for lunch.

you hadn’t joined him on the expedition this time, opting to give stelle the chance to. it has been an odd few days without you around, he muses. he hadn’t realised just how used he had become to your presence until you were gone.

whatever the case, you’d be here soon, and that is all that matters for now.

“i can’t wait to see everyone again!” march says, grinning. she practically skips down the street, twirling and humming as she does. “it feels like it’s been ages since we last saw them.”

stelle voices out her agreement. then, she suggests introducing the rest of the crew to the friends they have made in belobog. “[name] would love clara.”

he can’t help but smile at that. you would.

“how was the mission?” you ask, casually, a smile on your face as you stir your drink with a straw. “the other two said they had fun. stelle even has a new set of powers now.” 

dan heng can’t quite say the same, but overall, it was definitely an interesting experience, and he tells you as much. very briefly, he recounts all the events that have occurred from the moment the trio set foot onto jarilo-iv to the moment cocolia had been defeated. you listen with a child-like curiosity, eyes sparkling and all. 

the both of you are seated at a table in the administrative district, chatting over food and drinks. march and stelle left earlier, claiming they wanted to speak with everyone once more, whilst himeko and mr yang had yet to disembark from the express. 

“damn,” you say, a tad mournfully. “i would’ve paid to have seen y’all go against cocolia.”

and that is precisely what he doesn’t understand. you’d have enjoyed the expedition as much as everyone else had, and the team certainly had room for one more, so why hadn’t you simply joined them?

it seems you read his silent question right off his expression, and you sigh, glancing away with a helpless sort of smile.

“it was kind of cowardly, i admit,” you utter lowly. you’re murmuring, yet the bustle of the city fades into nothing but white noise, and he can clear your words clear as crystal. “still, seeing jarilo-iv in that state… i couldn’t bear to step foot on it until i heard the stellaron was gone. the snow reminded me too much of home. or at least, what used to be home.”

“your home planet?” he clarifies. a slight frown tugs at his brows. it isn’t like you to look so sombre. it’s worrying.

you nod. “yeah. y’know, where i come from, there used to be this saying about impossible things that would only happen ‘when hell freezes over’. guess what? it did. within weeks, my home became nothing but a chunk of ice. of billions, probably only a few hundred escaped.”

his mind draws to a blank there. his lips part, but nothing comes out. what can he say to that? he sighs lightly, weary, akin to the sound of yours. “would… would it be insensitive to say i’m glad that it was you of all people who survived?”

a sharp huff of a laugh flits from your lips, and the expression on your face has brightened considerably. you smile, and he returns it almost unwittingly. 

“no, not at all,” you reply. “i’m glad i survived too. i wouldn’t have been able to meet you or the rest of the crew if i hadn’t. anyway, it’s all in the past now. i’m more or less over it.”

then, you’re leaning toward him, eyes sparkling once more. 

“what about you? what’s your origin story?”

“it’s… a lot,” he tells you truthfully. huffing, he averts his gaze, face strangely warm. “i’d rather not dwell on it. the day i left my homeworld, i left my past behind and haven’t looked back since.”

you let out an understanding hum, taking a sip of your drink. 

“of course. after all, you can’t have your past following you into your future.”

—

dan heng awakens with a jolt, a chill lapping at his spine and cold sweat prickling at his skin. his body aches, head leaden, the traces of a life long past ringing in his ears. it is the third night in a row he has not slept.

he doesn't bat an eye at the person shuffling around by his desk, for it can be no one but you. still, he is not one without shame, and mild embarrassment at having been caught in such an unseemly state tinges his cheeks.

“nightmare?” you ask, knowing and gentle and wry. “wanna talk about it? march says it helps, but i wouldn't say for sure.”

you're draped over his chair, head propped up by a hand. there are faint shadows under your eyes and books scattered carelessly across the desk, and he assumes you had spent the entire night before right there. he had been reading, he recalls, and you had been studying the data bank for any information it had on the xianzhou alliance.

that stellaron hunter, kafka… unthinkably, his past has caught up with him in the form of her visit. he hasn't been able to rest easy since. 

“nothing much, just… old memories,” he says. 

you let out a soft hum. “about the xianzhou alliance?”

he startles slightly. how did you…?

“you have a slight accent,” you explain, shrugging. “it’s cute. i had a few other guesses, of course, but your reaction to kafka confirmed it for me. anyway, i know you don't like talking about your past, so i wasn't gonna bring it up unless you did.”

he can't help but let out a soft, breathless laugh. what is he to say to that? it seems you know him better than he had thought. offhandedly, he wonders if he knows you just the same.

“will you go?” you ask. at his questioning glance, you elaborate. “to the luofu with the others. i’ll be going as well.”

he shakes his head, sighing near inaudibly. “i'll be staying on board the express this time. the luofu is a grand and beautiful ship that i barely had the chance to see but… i can never return.”

a beat of silence follows his statement, and for a second, he worries he may have said something odd. he glances at you, meeting your gaze, and you get up from your seat then, stretching as you do. offering him a hand that he accepts, you pull him up with an easy grin. 

“that’s good. you can keep me company while stelle and march are out.”

a faint smile flickers across his face at that, the slight tension in the room ebbing away. it wouldn't be very much different from how the both of you usually spent your days anywayy. 

true to your word, you don't mention a thing about the xianzhou alliance after that. he follows you to the kitchens to grab a bite of breakfast. it’s barely dawn, he realises, and in the stillness of the express, it seems as if the universe contained no one else but you.

“you hungry?” you ask, already pulling out ingredients from the fridge. “i’ll make something simple. i don’t think you’d have much of an appetite right now either way, huh?”

he takes a seat at the aisle, letting out a soft hum in reply. “alright, sounds good. thank you.”

“of course. anything for you.”

he glances away, out into the expanse of the galaxy, a odd sort of warmth blooming within him. he doesn’t recall ever having felt this way, but… he supposes it is not an unwelcome development. he can’t help but smile. 

“how is it?” you ask, hands interlaced together as you watch him expectantly. 

the half hour you took to prepare breakfast had been whiled away in an instant, with light conversation and comfortable silence. he takes a bite out of it, and he’s pleasantly surprised.

“it’s good.”

you beam, pleased, gently urging him to have more. “i knew you’d like it. i was on my own for years before i joined the express, y’know? eventually, i got sick of eating plain rice and whatnot, so i learnt to cook.”

he dips his head in acknowledgement. he had never been particularly picky with what he ate, for he never really had the chance to enjoy food. still, even he can tell that your cooking is more than stellar.

“you cook well,” he says. 

you laugh. “then, that settles it. i’ll make you something nicer next time.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

“you know, when you mentioned your past being ‘a lot’, i’d never expect it to be this.”

dan heng lets out a low, shuttered breath. everything had happened too quickly, and it was only one thing after another, then another, until his origins had been laid bare for all to see. it’s odd, he thinks. it’s uncomfortable and familiar just the same. his true form, his true strength, his true self. he wonders what you think of him now.

the situation on the luofu has concluded, but everyone is still reeling from the aftermath. march and stelle opted to stay at the seat of divine foresight with the general to tie up loose ends, whilst he and you decided to get going first. 

you walk in step with him through stargazer navalia, on the way to pick up a starskiff that would return you to the express. you huff. “stelle has new powers, and you regained your old ones — don’t tell me it’ll be march’s turn next?”

“she did mention she wished to pick up swordsmanship,” he offers. 

“she’ll look cute with a sword,” you say, the sound of a laugh on the tip of your tongue. then, you turn to him, and he can feel the weight of your gaze on his skin before he even meets your eye. “jokes aside though, you feeling alright?”

“i feel fine,” he confirms. “just… tired.”

you nod understandingly. “of course. it's been a few very, very long days. i feel like i could fall asleep right this second.”

the two of you reach the port, and come to a console that would summon a starskiff. he keys in the coordinates to the astral express for you. even then, he can feel your eyes on him, steady, and everburning. he can tell you have something to say.

“what is it?” he asks softly. 

your head dips to a side slightly, a tiny, glittering smile on your face. “is it bad i think you look even prettier now? like, don’t get me wrong, you've always been good looking — but this? it's just… wow.”

he flusters, an unbearable heat crawling up his nape and dusted on his cheeks. partly due to the fact you find him attractive, but more so the fact you always have. he can't quite believe it, but who are you to lie? your word has always been true. 

his lips part, but no words leave, and you tap the top of your head, then gesture to his. “mind if i touch?”

he shakes his head lightly. he doesn't. 

one of your hands reaches to cup his cheek, and he leans into it instinctually. your other hand tangles itself in his hair, near the base of his horns. when your fingers trail the length of his scales, he shudders.

“it's feels cold,” you comment, voice barely a murmur. “it's very pretty.”

with his head in your hands, he couldn't have avoided your gaze even if he tried. he looks up at you through heavy-lidded eyes, and seeing this, you only grin in return. perhaps it is his exhaustion, or perhaps it is merely wishful thinking, but your eyes sparkle with a warmth he chooses to mistake for affection.

“when you're ready… will you tell me about your past? i only caught bits and pieces earlier, and i’d much rather hear the full story from you.”

he dips his head in agreement. either way, there isn’t much left of the story left to tell, and even then, if anyone had to know, it would be you. 

the starskiff arrives then, and with that, the moment flickers away. 

you get into the ship first, and he's only a step behind you as you do. it's not very spacious, he notes, but it is good enough for two. 

“you can rest your eyes for awhile,” you tell him, patting the space on the seat next to you. “the express is still a few hours away.”

he smiles faintly. “don't mind if i do.”

dan heng doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he does remember waking up.

it's comfortable, he thinks, mind hazy, sleep still lapping at the edges of his consciousness. his head rests against something soft, his tail curled around something warm. a hand taps on his shoulder gently. 

“hey, it’s time to get up.”

reality clicks back into place in seconds. his tail unfurls itself from your waist, and you stretch, standing, offering him a hand that he accepts. 

“did you sleep well?” you ask, something knowing in your smile, a hint of a laugh in your eyes. “you looked so comfortable, i almost didn't have the heart to wake you.”

he doesn't recall ever sleeping so well before. he nods.

“i did.”

—

“psst. hey, dan heng,” march whispers to him, urgently. she glances around in an exaggerated motion of secrecy, then relaxes when she seems to have found nothing of concern. 

dan heng gives her an odd look. there is no need for her to whisper. in fact, her hushed tone of voice makes it difficult for him to make out against the hustle and bustle of aurum alley. the both of them were in charge of keeping track of the shipments that were coming and going, whilst you and stelle were off planning the cycrane's delivery routes. 

he asks, “what is it?”

“are you and [name] dating?”

the question bursts out of her near explosively, as if it had been bubbling within her for quite some time now. he startles slightly, never having expected something like that to come from her. 

“no, we aren't,” he tells her, brows drawn faintly. “where did you get that idea?”

“you aren't? but i thought…” her eyes are widened comically, and she has her hand brought up to her face to stifle a gasp. she huffs then, coming to her senses, placing her hands by her waist. “i was sure you liked each other. stelle thought so too. i mean — it's all there!”

he sighs, rolling his eyes, yet an odd, fluttering feeling rushes across his skin. a tiny dash of thrill, he suspects, and a little pinch of something more. he wonders if stelle is asking you the same right that second. he wonders what you'd respond. 

“you can ask [name] yourself,” he replies instead. 

she grumbles. “well, if you say so…”

“march asked if we were dating.”

the words leave dan heng's lips before his mind even has the time to catch up with them. he had been stewing over his conversation with march for the entire day. it had sent him reeling. now, all the work that had to be completed has finally been done and dusted, and he finally has time with you alone. as always, you have made yourself at home in the archives, feet on his desk and draped across his chair as if it were your very own. 

you turn to him, surprised, an eyebrow raised. you let out a startled laugh. “she did?”

“she also said stelle thought the same,” he confirms. 

out of sheer interest, you swivel yourself around to face him, cross-legged, hugging the chair's back. he sits himself down on his bed, and pretends not to notice your stare.

“so, what did you say?”

really, what else was he to say? he supposes he can understand where they were coming from. of everyone in the crew, you are the one he is closest to. you are the one he trusts the most, and you are the one that knows him the best. not only that, those facts extend both ways. with all that said, it really wasn't any surprise that they had jumped to conclusions. the both of you almost acted the part already. 

he shrugs, a tad awkwardly. “i told her that we weren't.”

“shame,” you say, a slight lilt in your tone. you pout. “not even a chance? you know, when stelle asked, i told her i wouldn't mind either way.”

you chuckle at the look on his face. “think about it. would it really change anything whether or not we do? other than the labels, of course, but just because we aren't dating doesn't mean i like you any less.”

no, he supposes. there wouldn't be much of a difference at all. he's never really thought about it that way. 

his relationship with you is… unique, in a sense. be it as a friend, lover, or companion, you've become such an irrevocable part of his life that any instance without you just felt off. and somehow, he had gone from merely living one day after another to dreaming of the next dawn with you. 

… he wonders just when had he fallen in love.

“if that is the case,” he starts slowly, “then… i'd rather be known as your lover too.”

your lover, he thinks, testing it out in his mind. though it may just mean all the same to you, he can’t help but find a soft comfort in that title. yours.

he shoots you a mildly dubious look. “do you even know what a relationship entails?”

“of course i do,” you declare, puffing up proudly. the grin on your face is as silly as it is radiant, and you blow him a big, fat kiss. “what else is there to do but make you happy?”

dan heng laughs, expecting little else. to be honest, you already do.

Whatever he experienced out there has led to a set of delusions. He keeps repeating the same words as though he is in denial about the truth.

“I’ve been here with Pom-Pom the entire time. I haven’t stepped foot off of the Express since our last mission.”

“I tried to—”

“Himeko said you ran straight into the enemies. Mr. Yang called you back, but you didn’t listen to him. Whatever hallucination you had wasn’t real, Dan. I’m okay. I never left the Express.” You speak softly, attempting to calm him from his frenzied state.

“…” His eyes fluttered, releasing his clutch on the sheets. His index finger trails down the length of your arm, searching you for any wounds.

“I’m fine, I swear to you. I wouldn’t lie to you, especially not about something like that.”

“It knew how to get to me then.” He mutters, leaving his hand flat on top of yours. “I thought you were going to die.”

“It was a cruel trick. You know the others wouldn’t let that happen so easily though.”

“Hallucination or not, I wouldn’t let you go like that. I couldn’t just watch it happen.”

“In future, please don’t rush into a hoard of creatures for me without double-checking with the others. You’re worried about me dying, but you could’ve been seriously hurt if that fight wasn’t wrapped up quickly.”

“I’m a fool.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am. I’m the only one who was unable to resist their manipulation. That hallucination. Everyone must have seen a different one.”

“You were just worried for my safety. I’m sure if anyone else witnessed one of us in danger, they would have had a similar reaction. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

A shaky exhale left his lips while his fingers locked with yours. His thumb brushed over the bumps of your knuckles, grounding himself from the extensive shock his body underwent. He remembers that day when he swore he would never let anything harm you, how you will always be the first one he saves. There was never a moment you doubted him, fully aware of how willing he is to throw away his own life if it means you get to live. 

“I got you a change of clothes when I heard you were hurt. I had to search through your closet, I hope you don’t mind.” You sheepishly push a fresh set of clothes towards him—the ones you usually catch him lounging in while working in the archives late at night.

“No, not at all. Thank you. I’m glad that you’re the first person I saw when I woke up.” Discarding his sombre expression, his lips twist up slightly. A subtle twinge of colour spreads across his face, scooting you aside while he sits up.

“Is the bandage too tight? I can loosen it a little if you’d like.” You glance at his bare torso, eyes lingering on his abdomen for longer than you’d like to admit. Something was alluring about him in your perspective, something that others may not see. 

“It’s fine. I appreciate the effort you put in to take care of me.” He stands to his feet, turning his back to you as he changes his attire.

When fully covered, he returns to your bed. Propping a pillow against the headboard, he pulls a blanket over himself, seemingly getting himself comfortable. It appears that he plans to stay here for the remainder of the evening, something he knows you won’t protest. Pulling you into his side, your head collides with his shoulder, a shared spell of laughter illuminating the darkness that was once cast in your room.

“I need to tell the group chat you’re okay. They were worried sick about you when you fell unconscious.” You reach for your phone, snapping a picture of the very alive Dan Heng beside you. 

Within a few seconds, multiple notifications flood your screen, mainly March and Pom-Pom, the usual dramatics when something like this occurs. Himeko sends her best wishes while Mr. Yang writes a small lecture. He doesn’t mean any harm by what he said, it’s the instinct of being a parent—he will always look out for you all, whether you like it or not. 

“I’m sorry if I frightened you,” Dan speaks up when you turn off your phone, capturing your attention.

“Don’t be. All I ask is that you don’t die without me.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Weaving his arms around you, he held you close in an embrace, the only sound filling the room being your mingled breaths completely in sync. It’s no mistake that out of everyone on the Express, Dan’s strongest connection is with you. You’re the one he turns to when he feels no one else would understand his woes, you accepted him and his stoic ways into your life without trying to change him. For that, he’s grateful. You understand that not every issue can be fixed with a smile, a snack, or a nap.

Shifting his hand from the small of your back, he pushes your chin up. You grin at him, eyes crinkling as he stares back at you. The outline of your lips is a shape he learned how to trace, now able to reconstruct it using his memory when not presented in front of him.

“I’m glad you joined the Express. Travelling through the stars together is romantic when you view it the right way. I wouldn’t want to experience that with anybody else.”

Sealing his sweet speech, he presses his lips to yours in a searing kiss. Allowing him more space, you open your mouth slightly. Dan adored every inch of you, being granted permission to be so affectionate was merely a blessing. The heat radiating from his palms made your skin clammy, a stark contrast to his usual cold hands. 

Pulling away, your saliva remains at the corner of his mouth while he beams at you, his eyes half-lidded. His chest heaves, your lips more pronounced from the puffiness. The look in his eyes speaks words that he is not yet ready to admit, and you understand them all. When the time comes, he’ll tell you properly in the way he has planned. 

Still, you never would have guessed that one of the most humiliating moments in your life would come during a time of festivities at the Wardance when some IPC guards decided to stir up trouble with the unfortunate passerby who accidentally bumped into them on the streets of the Luofu. 

And to be clear, you were that unfortunate passerby. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going,” sneered an IPC guard as you tripped in front of them, getting distracted by the bustle of Starskiff Central and not noticing the curb beneath your feet. The guard looked to his friend and shook his head with a scoff. “These people here.”

“How shameful of me to have never known the IPC was full of such charming and chivalrous men,” you said sweetly with a smile dripping of honeyed poison as you pushed yourself off the floor and dusted off your skirt with a swift flick of your hands. “I appreciate you both so much for partaking in the simplest task of helping a fallen damsel and being decent humans.” 

The guard who had yet to talk finally spoke up. And you truly wish he hadn’t. 

“You know, you could actually be pretty if you didn’t have such an big mouth,” he said, his metallic voice grating your ears as you fought off the urge to roll your eyes. “Maybe I would’ve helped you up if you just sat there and said sorry instead.”

You folded your arms lazily, a yawn coming out of you from having to engage in such a bothersome and useless conversation. Still, you couldn’t help yourself from continuing to bite back. If there was one flaw about you, it was perhaps that your mouth went running off before your brain and legs could catch up. 

“It’s rather humorous of you to assume I’d want your help in the first place,” you stated as you looked at the guards’ IPC uniforms in disdain. What business would you want with such pathetic interstellar colonizers? “It is also appalling that you place yourself in such high of a pedestal that you would assume I care about what you think of me.” Before the guards could reply, you flipped your hair behind your shoulder and turned sharply on your heels. “Now, this conversation has taken up too much of my time. I have a festival to enjoy. So, if you would please excuse me—”

You felt a heavy hand grab your elbow to prevent you from walking away. Blowing air out of your mouth, you gritted your teeth and tugged your arm to no avail. 

You silently cursed yourself for never taking up martial arts. As much as you liked watching the performances, you personally believed you had seen enough violence in your past life and didn’t see the need to learn any swordsmanship in your current reincarnation. 

All your past lives were cursing at your arrogance now, you could feel it. Or perhaps it was just you internally scolding yourself. 

How much more badass would it be if you had the strength to easily shove the IPC guard’s out of the way and carry on with the Wardance? Instead, you were like a fly caught in a sticky trap, kicking and fighting with no real chance of escape. It was hopeless and embarrassing. 

You felt your face grew hot with humiliation. This is why past you stuck with healing, it seemed. 

“Oh, how cute,” the first IPC guard snickered, looking down at you with a patronizing grin. “Look who finally shut up. If I knew some force was all it would take, I would’ve done this much earlier instead of listening to you talk and talk about how much you—”

“Can you finish talking already?” you asked impatiently, tapping your foot on the floor. “You’re too close to me and your breath stinks.” 

His grip tightened in anger and you hoped he couldn’t see the grimace on your face from the slight feeling of pain in your arm. 

You really did it this time, you thought dryly to yourself. Pissed off the IPC guards just by tripping and opening your mouth. This would be your shortest life yet, at this rate.

Surprisingly, the feeling of pain didn’t last long and a soothing wave of comfort washed over you instead. Your body knew before your eyes could see— A Vidyadhara was around you, helping you. Not only that, but the smallest part of you felt they seemed the slightest bit familiar. 

“Is everything alright here?” a cautious, yet firm, voice asked. 

You looked up and saw a man step in front of you and swiftly yank the guard’s hand away from your arm. The force seemed minimal and effortless, but you knew this familiar stranger had to be strong to fight the burly guard off so easily. 

“That’s none of your business,” scoffed the guard on the left.

Your newfound savior stood resolute and unwavering. “I desire no involvement in your affairs. I only wish to ensure the safety of the Wardance attendees.”

“And you think we’re a threat to safety?” questioned the IPC guard, folding his arms over his chest and frowning. “Seems to me like you’re targeting the IPC. What will they think of the Xianzhou Luofu endlessly bothering the IPC? First, the cargo, now, this.” 

The man in front of you simply shrugged. “Believe what you will.” Instead of engaging in the endless bickering any longer, he turned around and offered you a smile. “Would you like me to escort you to the festivities, miss?” 

Quirking your head to the side, you grinned back and nodded playfully. “Yes, please! You seem like much better company than these idiots over here.” 

“You brat—!”

Eyes widening as the IPC guards began to draw their weapons, you exchanged glances with the grey-eyed man grabbed his wrist, running head first into the crowd and away from the guards with him only a step behind you. 

You would be the death of yourself one day, with no one else to blame, you were sure of it. But for today, you escaped happily. With a cute boy in tow. Somehow, you felt like you won this time. 

Once you were certain the guards lost you, you finally slowed down to catch you breath, a wide smile on your face when you noticed the man stopping next to you, realizing that meant he dutifully followed you amidst the crowd. 

“Thank you for your help…” you trailed off, prompting him for his name. 

“Dan Heng,” he introduced with a nod of greeting. 

“Dan Heng,” you repeated with a chirp. “I’m not sure if I could’ve removed myself from that situation safely without you.” 

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “My intuition tells me you would have found a way. Still, I’m glad to be of assistance.” 

You looked around at the booths around you. The streets weren’t filled with vendors like Aurum Alley, but it had its fair share of food stalls littered around. The smell of sweet berrypheasant fruit filled your senses as you immediately perked up at the thought of a treat after a tiresome encounter. 

“Can I get you a little something to show my gratitude?” you asked, with a hopeful glint in your eyes. For whatever reason, you felt comfort and familiarity around Dan Heng. A remnant from your past lives, you considered. “It’s nothing big! But the best berrypheasant skewers are nearby. This food stall even coats the fruit in melted sugar! You have to try it.”

Dan Heng hummed to himself, as if genuinely considering your offer. “I do have to return to the Palace of Astrum soon, but a short detour for some snacks wouldn’t hurt.” He gave you a small smile as he finally made his decision. “Okay, I will join you.”

You clasped your hands together in excitement, leading him over to the beloved skewers you were talking about. 

It took almost getting your ass handed to you by two meathead guards, but at least you managed to meet Dan Heng along the way. Whoever he was.

“Do I seem familiar to you, too?” you blurted without thinking. 

His step faltered but he continued on after a brief pause. “It’s vague, in all honesty. But…yes. There’s some sort of subtle tug.” 

You noticed his slight tone of discomfort and decided not to press the subject. Even if there was a sense of familiarity between the two of you, it was likely in your past lives. And for some Vidyadhara, they preferred the past stayed in the past. Or, they would at least prefer not to share their past with a completely random stranger such as yourself. While that wasn’t the case for you since you seemed to lack self-preservation, you truly wanted respect that about Dan Heng. 

“Cool!” you said simply, quickly changing topics. “Now let’s get some fruit skewers!” 

Slightly taken aback, he bit out a noise of laughter and stood in line next to you. “Gladly.”

You looked up at him with a smile. “And maybe, we can get to know some more about each other. Our current lives.” 

Dan Heng nodded in agreement. “There is still some time before I have to return to the Express. I would enjoy getting to know you more before then.” 

Ecstatic that he agreed, you ordered some fruit skewers and handed one over to him. The two of you happily crunched on the delightful treat and shared a moment of contentment. 

You smiled to yourself as you exhaled happily. Dan Heng requested another skewer and shared a piece with you. 

Nothing could beat good company and a sweet treat.