cardsheart:
It failed to dawn on him that he had truly never met Joey as himself… Of course, he knew Joey, he would call him a best friend, however he had never truly met him as himself, it was always on borrowed body and time. In the moments where no words were spoken, he felt something being shared between them silently, the crushing feelings of emotions that had been locked away for who knows precisely how long was beginning to crush them both, immobile under its intense weight. He was smart enough to realize Joeys feelings….. though he knew better to act on them, regret for never speaking about his true hearts desires crashing into him waves, now threatening to pull him under in their tide. Where would he even begin?
The hug caught him a bit off guard, unable to move for a brief moment until his body reacted naturally, reaching his hands up to wrap his arms around the other. He clung too tightly onto Joeys shirt, as though if he did not hold quite tight enough that the other will be but a memory once more, haunting him with what-could-have-beens. All it took was the brief stammering of Joeys breath for him to realize that he was also fighting back the urge to cry… it was a happy cry, mixed with a release of emotion that neither dare share. Joey was so warm and… tall and comforting. He really had not changed much at all. It was nice to be able to keep his feelings for Joey and what he was thinking to himself as well….
Once the other finally pulls away, he’s reluctant at first, holding onto Joeys shirt until the last possible moment and smiling at the other with a bit of a shrug. He’s not sure what to say first. He can’t exactly explained what the afterlife was like… a warmth… but then, nothing really, though clearly the world itself was not done with him and that itself was difficult to explain. He hums and shakes his head.
“I wish I had more to offer you as an explanation. By all right and sense, I should be dead still.” It’s…. weird thinking that he was truly dead and now he isn’t. Referring to himself in such a way scared him a bit. He had taken so much time to accept the fact that he would be departing again, but now to be pulled back… Exactly how long did he have to be back now? How long does he get to have a life here…. it seemed unfair, and not something that he wanted to think about. Luckily, Joey had other points to push that snapped him out of it and suddenly had him feeling quite defensive.
Huffing, he puts his hands on his hips. “I’ll have you know this is the traditional garb of a pharaoh. This is far more comfortable anyways and I’ve yet found the time to go shopping for clothes of your time. Those pants that Yugi would always wear were tragically uncomfortable – skinny jeans, right? How do you people expect to be mobile…..” Pausing, he caught himself going on a bit of a rant, as he is want to do, but smiles at the other, with sort of a devious.
“I look good? Thank goodness, and here I believed you would be less attracted to me now that I am only myself.” Called him out….. and also…. it feels nice to be with Joey again, things fell naturally into place, almost as though nothing every changed. He was not shy with looking the other up and down. “I’m glad to see you haven’t changed, years have not diminished your dashing good looks.” No one says things like ‘dashing’ anymore… unless you’re a thousand year old man. It was just… nice to see that this Joey was still the same. Even though they were speaking now, the air still felt almost unbearably heavy with things left unspoken, reaching his hand out for a moment, he was tempted to grab Joeys hand, but thought better before and retracted the hand back to his hip. “Have you been well?”
As familiar as the spirit and intent behind it is, hugging Atem now is so... strange compared to the feeling of all the times he had done so before. Strange in a good way, enjoying the feeling of hugging Atem and only Atem, with no one else sort of... in there observing all of their interactions. In a way it feels more close and intimate like this, a thought that makes his ears red to think about. It’s hard to fight down the overwhelming surge of emotion in his chest and the tears that sting his eyes when he’s really holding Atem when he never thought they would even speak again, let alone the fact that it’s Atem in his own body, living and breathing...
He knows that he’s the one who asked, but hearing Atem talk about being dead makes his heart ache and throat clench shut, shaking his head a bit and swallowing down the lump in his throat before he’s able to answer. “Yeah, well, all that matters is that you’re back, right?” He doesn’t know if he really wants to find out the how or the why... and he certainly doesn’t want to find the answer to anything like how long he has with Atem this time, at least not right now. It hurts too much to think about the idea of having this reunion just to have to see him off again soon, so it’s a thought that he pushes to the back of his mind for the moment when neither of them have the answer to that question.
It feels good to laugh and be distracted from more somber thoughts, cackling at Atem’s defensive rant and justifications... it’s not like the clothes don’t suit him, or that he doesn’t look good in them, although he doesn’t say as much. He also doesn’t point out the fact that he’s sure that Atem would look just as good in skinny jeans... it’s embarrassing to him that he even thinks it. “How about after we get settled in, we go out shopping and get you some new threads, huh? I’ll help you get a better sense of style than Yugi’s. Develop your own look that ain’t like... this.” Gesturing with his hand to all of the other to sort of... illustrate his point, he really isn’t ready for what comes next, sputtering quite obviously in his embarrassment at being called out about something so... true.
He’s joking... he has to be joking, there’s no way that Atem could know something like that, not when he had kept his feelings for him such a carefully guarded secret even from the likes of Yugi... at least, so he thinks. Unfortunately for him that’s the opposite of the truth, but he chuckles nervously, struggling to pretend that it’s a joke and that he’s in on it. “Yeah, well, y’know... you look better when it’s just you. It’s less weird this way, right? You look like you, and not just Yugi... Not that you guys don’t look an awful lot alike, but y’know...” You’re a lot hotter, he almost instinctively adds before he catches himself and cuts himself off.
He feels so flustered being told that he’s good looking himself when he’s utterly convinced that Atem is just messing with him, that he doesn’t really know how to respond to it and just... chooses not to. He doesn’t really have a good, witty comeback to it lined up when it clearly catches him offguard, his whole face bright red and burning hot with his flustered nerves. He really is so painfully obvious... so many words on the tip of his tongue that he has just enough self control to hold back, but not much more than that. Instead he focuses on the question, scratching his cheek awkwardly while he thinks about all the things Atem has missed... and how really it isn’t that much that’s changed. “Yeah, I’ve been alright, I guess... we all graduated, and I had a job for a while before I decided I would move here... I placed pretty high in a couple of tournaments, too. You woulda been proud.” He’s clearly puffed up and fishing for Atem’s praise before he grows more timid again, glancing away and speaking softer when admitting to things that are more emotional are a lot harder to get out. “I missed you, though... we all did. I’m better now that you’re here.”
