elle

*****

The sting of the needle on his neck should have left Jungkook feeling weak, and it did, to some extent. Actually, Jang Min had the front-row seat on Jungkook's pain—he saw how Jungkook’s body trembled under him, skin turning feverishly blue, almost dangerously close to how a corpse looked, but that's the thing—physical pain was only a part of Jungkook's suffering.

The mental anguish of what he had experienced over the past days messed with his brain, particularly the time he caught Jang Min wrapping his damn arms around you and Soobin’s bodies. The rage and shame almost consumed him whole, though he didn't get to dwell on that feeling when Lee Sung showed up to threaten him.

Lee Sung had caged Jungkook then, saying shit like, "We want you back in our chess game, Jungkook-ah. Boss said he needs you to play the king again," while holding a knife before raising his hand in the air to show a small vial.

At that time, Jungkook's jealousy of seeing another man kiss you vanished. His priority had changed—he couldn't have someone like Lee Sung ever lay an eye on his family. Admittedly, it was easy to convince Lee Sung despite the severe trauma Jungkook dealt under him. Back then, Jungkook didn't have anything to lose. He could die, for all he cared. But the past few weeks he had spent with you and Soobin gave him life. Jungkook couldn't play the chess game again. He didn't want to be king. Rather, Jungkook longed to act like Soobin's father and your partner. The only way to do that was to lead Lee Sung out of your home and finally settle their issues once and for all.

They went to Lupin, a quiet bar downtown. Lee Sung ordered drinks for them. Jungkook didn't bother to touch it. Alcohol had no place in his heart. He also knew Lee Sung had only ordered him a whiskey as a sign of welcoming him back to their game.

But Jungkook wouldn't indulge a clown like Lee Sung. He had other things in mind.

“How much?" Jungkook wasted no time. These two words were clear enough, but Lee Sung laughed out loud, acting as if he had just heard the funniest yet most confusing joke of all time.

“Ya, Jungkook-ah. I know you've had your freedom recently, but don't tell me you've already lost your mind?" Lee Sung chuckled mockingly. "How much? Really?"

Lee Sung knew Jungkook could only dream of paying his debt whole. He had no money nor a stable job. You might be well-off, but even your savings couldn't possibly cover half of Jungkook's debt. He was quite literally drowning in his loan. Some of Bighit's ex-employees were still venting their anger toward Jungkook, blaming him for their downfall. Jungkook exhausted his tactics in prison to pacify those people, but it was never enough.

“Going back to the game is nearly impossible. Your boss should know just as much." Jungkook looked pensive, ignoring Lee Sung's snide remark. "I've got a better proposition for him."

Lee Sung wanted to laugh, but ended up scoffing. "Huh, do you really think you're worthy enough to bargain with him? Jungkook-ah, Boss will never bother talking to a rat like you."

Jungkook might be a tad cleverer than the rest of their chess pieces, but Jungkook was still a rat—a trampled good-for-nothing hole for others to fuck. Lee Sung remembered watching one of Jungkook's videos in prison. He was crawling on the icy ground, the seeds from those men almost blinding his eyes.

Lee Sung would never see Jungkook as anything more than a pathetic whore.

But Jungkook didn't give a shit about what Lee Sung thought of him. He merely raised a brow to challenge the clown. 

“Then go on. Call your boss and see what he does."

Lee Sung humored Jungkook with the intention of humiliating him afterward. To his surprise, though, Jang Min accepted the negotiation. The phone call didn't even last two minutes. Jungkook only said a few words:

“Rat and cat? Boo. I'll get you something bigger."

There was a pause on Jungkook's end. Lee Sung watched Jungkook's expression, but it remained blank. His mouth was only moving, eerily showing the version of Jungkook Lee Sung never knew existed.

Only a few knew this side of Jungkook—the cunning one who could get what he wanted with his wits and dead eyes. But Lee Sung swore he glimpsed the slight curve of Jungkook's upper lip. It was barely there that Lee Sung couldn't be sure if his eyes tricked him.

Could a rat really outsmart his precious boss?

“What do you think about the dragon, boss?" Jungkook dared to call him boss, as if he was conceding, but his demand said otherwise.

There was a long pause.

Jungkook's upper lip twitched. It made Lee Sung's heartbeat double. Lee Sung was realizing that Jungkook could be a cunning douche too—its certainty was proven when Jungkook bargained:

“I'll give you the dragon's name. In return, I need two things from you."

The heavy pause was to be expected. But Jungkook seemed relaxed, as if he knew this was a done deal.

“Debt erasure—" Jungkook's voice dropped an octave.

It was daunting. Lee Sung felt goosebumps pricking his skin. Never in his life did he think Jungkook could have this much audacity. He scoffed upon hearing Jungkook's final demand:

“—and my kin's safety."

Jungkook waited for acceptance from the other line. Lee Sung did the same, but their expressions greatly differed. Lee Sung was in disbelief and fear; meanwhile, Jungkook acted as if the acceptance was only a matter of time.

“Alright." Jang Min's voice echoed from the other line, severing Lee Sung's heartstrings.

This couldn't be true, right? The clown thought.

However, Jungkook's action proved Lee Sung wrong. Jungkook handed the phone back to Lee Sung, grabbed a tissue paper from the bar counter, wrote something on it, and then used the blood from the cut on his hand to mark his fingerprint on the paper.

Lee Sung's eyes flickered from the phone to Jungkook's bloodied hand, but he didn't say anything. Jungkook had a calm, almost eerie demeanor about him, as though this was a regular transaction.

Jungkook simply handed the tissue paper to Lee Sung.

“Looks like you learned a thing or two from Fukuchi,"  Lee Sung said, eyes twinkling with fake amusement. A part of him still refused to believe that a slut and pathetic rat like Jungkook could make Jang Min take a step back. It was making him crazy, but all the proof was right in his face.

Jungkook didn't react, though. They simply parted ways at Lupin, with Lee Sung going straight to Jang Min to hand him the paper stained with Jungkook's blood.

Lee Sung was expecting his boss to laugh—to counter whatever bullshit he promised Jungkook, but Jang Min only read the words in that paper. A twisted yet subtle smirk curved his lips as he touched his ushanka.

“Very well, then. The King won't enter his kingdom for now."

It was unclear to Lee Sung what exactly changed Jang Min's mind, but one thing was sure. Jungkook writing the name "Tatsuhiko Shibusawa" was enough for his beloved boss to back off for now.

*****

The promise of 'for now' didn't even last a week. A few days after giving out Shibusawa's name, Jang Min was back to pressuring Jungkook into joining their game.

Jungkook coughed out a laugh, rubbing the part of his neck that had been struck by a needle.

“What?" Jungkook weakly called out, but his tone was still teasing. He wasn't expecting this turn of events. "Did the dragon breathe out fire?"

Jang Min was a cunning man, probably even on par with how Jungkook thinks, so how could he fail at wooing Shibusawa?

“You're the ice," Jang Min said simply. He let go of his hold on Jungkook, causing the latter to wobble and fall on the ground. The drug seemed to be taking effect, but Jungkook refused to let it control him.

He snapped his head up at Jang Min.

“Thought I am rat?"

If Lee Sung were here, he'd probably be the first one to agree with that. But the clown was nowhere to be seen since Jang Min was proving something to Shibusawa. The latter ran the main drug cartel in Europe. His identity had been a mystery to the public. He was like Jang Min, opting to use pawn and chess pieces. Jang Min was nothing compared to Shibusawa, though. He barely had a grip on Russia and some cities in Japan. Jang Min liked calculated risks—something Shibusawa looked down upon.

Shibusawa was an all-or-nothing kind of person. This was why he turned down Jang Min's request for collaboration, at least not until Jang Min proved himself worthy.

Lee Sung was sent to Russia to oversee their cartel there–a subtle hint to Shibusawa that all his underlings were carefully chosen. Meanwhile, Jang Min himself decided to take over Japan, and what's the easiest way to do that than to use his favorite player? Jang Min wanted to let Shibusawa understand that when you played your players right, odds would definitely rule in your favor.

Jungkook understood as much. He felt the drugs running through his veins. Jang Min had partially succeeded with his plans.

“You found out, didn't you?" Jang Min could speak in installments or with keywords, and Jungkook would still understand. He was obviously talking about drugging Soobin.

Jungkook's blood boiled. He wanted nothing but to rip Jang Min's smug face.

“Isn't that why you're here?" The Russian man rubbed his chin, circling Jungkook, who had already fallen to the ground. The effect of the drug was extremely difficult to counter. In just a few, Jungkook would be wrapped around Jang Min's fingers.

“You want to know if I have the cure for your son's failing body.” Jang Min was sure of it.

Jungkook could only glare at his enemy, but even that was a feat. He coughed up blood.

Jang Min chuckled. "Stop resisting, Jungkook-ah. You're mine now."

The more Jungkook resisted the effect of the drugs, the more his body suffered. Jang Min looked down on him and sighed, faking pity.

“I have the antidote right here. One shot, it is made specifically for your little pup.”

Jungkook’s muscles were stiff, yet he tried his hardest to get the small blue vial from Jang Min's hold. 

Jang Min raised it higher—out of Jungkook's reach, and then he laughed again.

“Ah-Ah. Not so fast." Jang Min dropped the vial in the pocket of his pants. “You're only going to get this if you agree with my plan."

Jungkook heaved a deep breath as he clutched his chest. His lips were trembling, “What. You're sending me back to prison to play as your drug lord?"

Jungkook scoffed before coughing; blood stained his lips.

Jang Min sensed Jungkook's disgust, but he shrugged it off, "Give and take. You know how the world works, Jungkook-ah. You want something from me? You pay."

Jungkook no longer spoke. He just spat on Jang Min's shoes.

Jang Min didn't appreciate the gesture. He stepped on Jungkook's fingers on the floor. Jungkook wanted to retaliate, but blood just filled his throat.

“I am giving you the easy way out of this. Don't make me drag your partner here."

Jungkook might be feeling weak, but the mere mention of you was enough to bring him back to life. His heart skipped a beat as horror dawned on him.

Jang Min smirked, head tilting to the side to look at the intruder.

“But what can I say? She already brought herself here. Isn't that right, Cолнышко мо?"

The way he called you made you gag. You would rather choke on glass than hear that term of endearment again. You could barely control your emotions now as you hid behind a wall. But alas, your cover had been busted. 

Jang Min knew you were here. You broke your promise to Jungkook. You couldn't let Jungkook face the monster on his own. But don't get it wrong; it wasn't that you didn't trust Jungkook. You did. You fucking did despite everything—despite his betrayal, despite him breaking your heart and leaving you grieving and abhorring Jisoo.

You trusted Jungkook so much that you couldn't let him die.

You wanted to fight Jang Min with Jungkook.

Jungkook called your name softly. You barely heard it, but it still sent an arrow to your heart. Jungkook was suffering because of that drug.

Jungkook was aware of this, too. His body was at its limit, and as much as he didn't want you to be here, a part of him felt relieved. If this was his last day to walk this earth, then at least...at least you were going to be the last one he saw.

But Jungkook's mouth betrayed him, "you...y-you shouldn't be here..."

You shouldn't really be. Jungkook had already understood the entirety of Jang Min's plan. Jang Min knew Jungkook was coming. But he also knew you were coming with him.

Jang Min stayed by your side for quite some time. He knew Soobin was your reason to live. You were willing to kill and be killed for your son. Of course, you'd be here.

Jang Min took advantage of your motherly love, and if he couldn't convince Jungkook to play the game, then he'd force him to do it.

“Stand up, Jungkook-ah." Jang Min demanded. To Jang Min's delight, Jungkook really stood up—as if he was suddenly pumped up with energy.

Jang Min didn't dare believe this at first. However, his heart was already filled with anticipation. He tested the waters once more.

“Slap yourself."

Jungkook's hand landed on his cheek, faint red mark colored his face, causing Jang Min's eyes to light up.

Did it work? Did he seriously succeed in making this new version of the dead apple drug that made people do his bidding? 

Could he finally be God? Could he smash all these rats into a mush?

Jang Min laughed manically. He ordered Jungkook to keep slapping himself.

You could no longer watch this absurdity.

“You son of a fucking bitch—!!" and so you ditched your cover and ran towards Jang Min, wanting to kill him. You didn't get the chance to be near Jang Min, though.

Jungkook had tripped you, eyes burning red for trying to hurt his master.

You fell to the ground, disbelief coloring your eyes as your mouth agape.

How could this be!? How could Jungkook hurt you just to defend that fucking son of a Russian bitch!?

Jang Min couldn't possibly know the insult circling your mind, and if he was being honest, he actually couldn't care less. He had already won. The new version of Dead Apple really worked. 

If he could push his luck some more, then he would no longer need anyone's help. Not even Shibusawa. He could rule the world. He could inject this drug into anyone and make them do everything he wanted.

He was God.

Jang Min felt triumphant, like he was on top of the world. The first phase of this testing was done on Soobin. The little guy followed everything he said. When he told him to sleep, he'd sleep. When he ordered him to play, he'd play. At first, Jang Min thought that Soobin was only following him because of affection. After all, Jang Min acted like a father to that pup.

But Jang Min kept pumping Soobin's body with drugs. At some point, it probably worked. Jang Min only injected the drug into Jungkook to render him weak. He didn't expect that his risk, his first and only risk, would work.

Maybe Shibusawa was right. Risking wasn't so bad.

But Jang Min couldn't blindly rely on this. He needed this drug to work to its fullest.

You wouldn't allow that, though. Your initial shock had passed. Standing up, you glared at Jang Min and wasted no time attacking him. You had just landed one punch on Jang Min when the latter ordered Jungkook again.

“Jungkook-ah, suppress this one."

Eyes bloodier, Jungkook only moved an inch—not daring to actually go through the plan. His nose was bleeding, a clear sign that he was fighting the drug. This didn't please Jang Min at all. He became firmer when he ordered Jungkook to suppress you.

Jungkook could no longer fight it. He went near you, gripping the back of your shirt and throwing you to the ground.

“Jungkook, you stupid asshole! Come back to your fucking senses!" You gritted your teeth, rage at boiling point. You thought you could scare Jungkook, but Jungkook had long since fell into a daze.

Jungkook kicked you once. 

Twice.

Thrice.

Jungkook repeatedly kicked, slapped, and boxed you. You tried to fight it, but Jungkook had long since memorized your every move, including the pattern of your breathing. You two had known each other since childhood, after all.

This was the kind of show Jang Min wished to see; the mind, if altered, could be used to be a weapon even against the one a person loved the most.

“Here, Jungkook-ah." Jang Min lightly tapped Jungkook's shoulder to get him to stop. You were panting rapidly. Dead Apple was not an ordinary drug; it would make the user stronger, as long as he didn't fight its effects and host.

Jang Min laced the drug with his blood. This was why Jungkook recognized him as his host or master. This was the same drug he injected into Soobin, but Jang Min never got to see its fullest power. He had to keep injecting it into Soobin and administering an antidote for fear of accidentally killing the child. 

The antidote Jang Min gave Soobin only neutralized the poison in his system, but it couldn't undo the damage. His lungs were still weak.

Jang Min never liked Soobin, but he needed the boy alive to execute his plans. It was a good thing that both father and son responded to the dead apple well.

If Jungkook were to be thrown into prison again, Jang Min could manipulate him and even go to the extent of making the other prisoners his guinea pigs.

He would soon take over the world. All he needed was to see the power of the dead apple now.

Jang Min watched as Jungkook took the red vial in his hand. A satisfied grin plastered on his face as he calmly manipulated Jungkook.

“Go on, Jungkook-ah. Inject that into her. A few doses would be enough to paralyze her body."

Jungkook was in a daze. He was pinning you to the floor. You were barely conscious from all the boxing and kicking Jungkook did.

Jungkook tilted his head; a mix of sorrow and stubbornness clung to him. Deep down, he knew he shouldn't be listening to Jang Min. How could he possibly hurt you? You were his partner—his other half and the love of his life. You were the one who took care of and loved his own flesh and blood.

But Jang Min's hypnotizing voice was too strong to resist. A big part of him wanted to prick the needle into your vein and see your body go stiff, paralyzed, with nowhere to run.

Jang Min pushed a little more.

“Do it, Jungkook-ah. Don't you want to see her obedient just for you? You could fuck and break her into two. Own her."

Jang Min's wretched desire was passed down to Jungkook. He licked his lips, eyes drooping while looking down at you.

You were once his. Jang Min couldn't deny that you had a charm that made men want to subdue you. You were feisty and proud. You loved loud. 

Jang Min had always wondered what it would be like to see you break and bend. Jang Min wanted to dominate you. And what was the best way to do that than to use the person you loved the most to betray you all over again? To realize that the love Jungkook had for you was not enough for him to resist?

Jang Min could see it. Jungkook was shaking, but he was determined to inject the drug into you. He only needed a few more pushes.

And so Jang Min did just that.

“Make him yours, Jungkook-ah."

And Jungkook did.

The sharp end of the needle penetrated the delicate flesh. The effect was almost instantaneous. Your eyes dilated and almost bled, as if reflecting the rage you felt.

“Fuck, you didn't have to hit me that hard, you jerk!" You stood up, pissed as you ran your fingers through your wrinkled shirt.

Jungkook could only offer a peace sign.

“Sorry. I had to make it convincing." Jungkook shrugged, injecting the remaining drug into Jang Min's veins.

Jang Min was already on the ground, eyes hollowed from the sudden onslaught of chemicals in his bloodstream. He couldn't even understand what came for him as it happened in the blink of an eye.

One second, he was crouching and urging Jungkook to paralyze you, but the next thing he knew, Jungkook had somehow fought the compulsion and directed the injection to him.

But that was the wrong thing to say. In the first place, Jungkook wasn't really affected by the dead apple. He was immune to it.

Yes, it was a more potent version of the drug, but Jungkook had trained himself to endure its effect. He made everyone, including himself, believe that he would never touch a dead apple, but he used to inject himself with a small dose every day. It lasted until he finished serving his sentence.

This was a calculated move. He knew that one day, someone ought to use the drug on him, especially because he had sinned greatly by allowing people to use that godforsaken drug. Karma would bite him, so Jungkook had to protect himself.

Fortunately, you relied on this protection. Before going to Jang Min's place, your heart remained restless. Jungkook was halfway out the door when you clung to him, refusing to let him go to war alone despite your heartfelt talk.

You couldn't lose Jungkook. Not this time. Not at any time, and so Jungkook, despite his reluctance, allowed you to join him in his plan to kill Jang Min.

After all, you had to relieve your burning rage, too. You couldn't sit still knowing that Soobin had been harmed.

You and Jungkook both premeditated paralyzing Jang Min. Jungkook knew of Jang Min's plan to send him back to prison. Of course, he'd do that with a catch. He was a maniac who took pleasure in seeing people in pain. He planned to use you as Jungkook's victim for him to commit a crime that would be sufficient to convict him.

It wasn't going to be easy, of course. Jang Min wasn't easy to trick, but who could have doubted Jungkook's love for you? The only wrong thing Jang Min did was underestimate your partnership. You and Jungkkok were willing to take risks to ensure the success of your plan.

Jang Min grew complacent when Jungkook hurt you, because sober Jungkook would never physically assault the love of his life. In all honesty, the injuries Jungkook landed on you hurt like a bitch, but that was the only way to make it realistic.

You could endure a few punches because nothing was worth it more than seeing Jang Min's weak body curled up on the floor.

“I didn't think it would be this easy." You peered down at Jang Min, indifference painting your eyes. Jang Min was a mastermind who knew how to use his chess pieces, but now he was reduced to a vegetable who couldn't speak.

You didn't even know if Jang Min knew what hit him—if he could think anything at all. He was just blinking blankly.

“It isn't easy. We still needed to wrap this up." Jungkook appeared calm, but only he knew that he risked both your lives for this plan. He simply relied on Shibusawa's untrusting nature, that Jang Min, not one to accept defeat, would show Shibusawa that he could tame a cunning one like Jungkook; it fed Jang Min's God complex and his desire to find an equal to him.

He thought earning Shibusawa's trust showed he could achieve anything.

He abhorred Jang Min using Soobin as a guinea pig, but that gave Jungkook the idea that Jang Min was developing a new version of dead apple. From these simple circumstances, Jungkook had managed to craft a plan to bring Jang Min down.

It seemed easy, but Jungkook had exhausted his mind by relying on Jang Min's desire for Godhood.

But it would end now. Jang Min would soon taste the deepest and darkest pit of hell.

And so you and Jungkook carried Jang Min's paralyzed body to the bathroom. You two started filling the tub with water as you popped open a champagne (which you were tempted to drink, but didn't), and then you two stripped Jang Min of his clothes.

“Time to take a bath, dear." You almost vomited as you delivered those sarcastic words. You helped Jungkook carefully submerge Jang Min's body in the tub.

The water pressure was enough to fill the tub with water in five minutes or so. You watched Jang Min's expression as the water rapidly submerged his face.

You almost immediately lost interest. Jang Min didn't seem to care that he was about to drown; he was completely out of it.

"We need to go," Jungkook said softly when he finished tying up all loose ends. 

The plan had worked; Jang Min would die, and no one would think it was you and Jungkook who caused his death.

“Just a few seconds," you answered, eyes fixed on Jang Min again. The water had reached Jang Min's eyes.

Jang Min blinked. He was completely helpless, and this was when something snapped in your mind.

You suddenly walked near the tub, crouching a little so you could whisper something to Jang Min's ear, even when you knew there was almost a hundred percent chance Jang Min couldn't and wouldn't understand you.

You gave your final blow.

“When we get home, we'd give Soobin the antidote, and he would be fine. After that, Jungkook and I would fuck, until he erased traces of you in my body. And you?” You smiled, victory coated your tongue. “You'd be here, body cold and spirit gone. No one would think of you. No one would follow and remember you. Because you are not a God. You are just a horrible monster who is loved by none."

The water fully submerged Jang Min's eyes, and you could have sworn you saw his eyes twitch a little, or maybe it was your imagination. Who knew? All you knew was that Jang Min's dead, Soobin's about to be saved, and you and Jungkook were free from your baggage.

- END -

*************

We’ve finally reached the end, BUT i will still be uploading special chapters to let you guys get a glimpse of what their family life is like. i know there are still things to wrap up. i know it, but i really reallyyy want this story to end. it has been a year since i last updated. i honestly don’t know how to pick up where we left off.

so many things have changed and i barely remember what i wrote in the past chapters. please bear with me 🙏

anyway

how are you guys? does anyone still remember this fic? if you do, please tell me how you’d been, regardless if we interacted before or not.

i guess i’ll go first:

didn’t want to start with heavy topic, but my family suffered a lot this year. we lost so mant loved ones, and when i say “many” i meant 6 family members/relative.

but we are fighting and doing what we can.

i started law school too :) got myself a boyfriend, whom i am thinking of marrying…

i am still in corporate while juggling school. i barely have time to sleep, but its all good. anything for our dream, right??

i won’t probably be able to write for the next few years, but we’ll see how it goes…

for now, i think i am signing off.

Wives lost their husbands;

Children lost their parents;

Aristocrats lost their riches;

Slaves lost their souls;

And then there's Jungkook.

General Jeon Jungkook, who had lost his pride and glory the second Jimin, his best friend, decided to betray the Goryeo Kingdom.

During that time, Jimin was the most trusted subordinate of General Jeon. The two of them worked in harmony to defeat nations that had been wishing to see Goryeo crumble.

Jungkook had never once lost in a war before. Everybody believed in him; even the emperor of Goryeo recognized his military prowess, notwithstanding the fact that it could lead to Jungkook seizing control over the throne.

But Jungkook didn't really have an interest in being a king. What he longed for was a tranquil life with his loved ones, particularly with you, his fiancée.

Yes, before Jimin defected, Jungkook had everything life could offer. People respected him, his subordinates trusted him with their lives, and then there's you, a medical practitioner who loved him dearly.

The you who had accompanied him through the wars. You were one of those few people who had the courage and a good heart, ignoring those men who kept on whining, 'you're just a woman, 'you're nothing without General Jeon,' 'you're only living in the shadow of your brother.'

But the truth was, those men weren't even half of the woman that you were. Goryeo wouldn't win a single war without your gentle hands. You had saved countless lives, bringing back those who were on the brink of death to light.

You were the reason why children still had their fathers.

You were the reason why the Goryeo soldiers could immediately stand up after blood dripped down their bodies.

You were a hero, the hope of your kingdom, and the center of Jungkook's life. He swore he'd marry you after the war ended.

Your vows were ready, and your wedding dress was just waiting to be worn.

But Jimin defected.

Jimin leaked the military tactics of Goryeo to Baekje and Silla. Those two powerful kingdoms worked together to see Goryeo fall. In the middle of the night, where everyone was weak and recuperating, the two kingdoms broke their promise of the armistice.

Together, they had attacked Goryeo.

Jimin, that ruthless traitor, helped open the city gates, leading the foes to paint the kingdom with tears and blood.

Jungkook was stupefied. He was raging at first, fingertips trembling with anticipation. He couldn't wait to make the neighboring kingdoms pay. He unsheathed his sword, screaming like a beast who had been wronged.

Damn straight, he had been wrong.

Jungkook remembered that night very well. He was face to face with a man wearing red and gold robe—the colors that represented the Goryeo Kingdom.

The said man was Jimin. He was sporting that demented look. Gone were his angel eyes; it was replaced by fury, ridicule, and indifference.

It was like he didn't know Jungkook at all.

"Park Jimin!" Jungkook seethed. He was raging, but his guard wasn't up. He thought he could still talk some senses to his best friend.

How stupid of him.

General Jeon, the man who was worshipped by many because of his intelligence, was suddenly defeated by a traitor.

Jimin didn't kill Jungkook, but that's only because you were there. You stopped Jimin in time, stabbing him from behind.

You didn't hesitate.

You couldn't hesitate.

If you were a second late, Jungkook would definitely die.

It was a good thing you couldn't see Jimin's face. You knew it'd be hard for you to kill him if you saw those eyes similar to yours.

Jimin.

Park Jimin.

Park Jimin, your twin brother.

How could he betray your kingdom like this?

How could he betray his best friend?

How could he betray....you?

All that you showed him was warmth. You didn't expect him to repay you with the same warmth, but he could have at least saved you some face and not thrown you some ice.

How could he be so cruel, only leaving you with millions of corpses you could never bring back.

He destroyed everything you loved, starting from that store of mandu on the side of the street to Jungkook, who could never walk that said street.

Jungkook suffered from paraplegia; this was one of the consequences of your twin brother's betrayal. Jimin delivered that fatal blow to his best friend.

Jungkook didn't die, but he wished he was dead.

It was better than suffering the loss of feeling in the lower half of his body. He felt useless, sitting idly on a wheelchair and quietly enduring the pitiful look of those around him.

He went from being respected to being scorned. Behind those pitiful looks were monsters mocking him. He was a general, yet he was defeated by his subordinate. They said General Jeon didn't deserve the title bestowed on him. People wanted him to be a king before, now he was just a king of fools.

He had been fooled by Jimin once, but he didn't learn at all. He still stayed with you, still begged the emperor to spare your life. Jungkook could no longer kneel, yet he still used his upper body's strength to throw himself on the cold floor; his forehead touched the ground as he cried to Namjoon.

"Your Majesty, you once ask me what I want, but I'm not a greedy man." Jungkook's throat constricted. Emperor Namjoon asked your fiancé what reward he wanted every time he won a war, but Jungkook would always shake his head, saying he didn't want more of what he had.

He had enough gold leaves, he had a huge palace, and he didn't need concubines. He only wanted you.

The whole Goryeo wanted to see you dead, though. You shared a womb with the traitor Park Jimin. Who knew what you'd do in the future? What if you defected too? Sure, Jungkook couldn't fight in battles, but he could still advise soldiers. His legs were damaged, but not his mind. His military prowess was still as sharp as ever. If you were by his side, you could immediately coax him to talk. You were a beautiful lady, after all. You could use your body to make Jungkook talk. A man was weak for a woman when they were in bed.

People were paranoid, thinking that you would sell out classified information to other kingdoms.

They didn't trust you. The blood of a traitor flowed in your veins. You were bound to defect too. The emperor was torn because of this. He wanted to satisfy both sides, but he didn't amount much.

Namjoon was a king, but sitting on the throne wasn't easy. It didn't make him feel powerful at all. In fact, it made him weaker. Sitting on the throne meant he saw everything, from the sufferings of the slaves to the corruption of the aristocrats. He knew too many secrets. He had seen it all, and when you saw everything, you would naturally understand its origin. He understood where people were coming from.

They only wanted to protect Goryeo from falling into the abyss. But how about General Jeon? He fought countless battles. You did too. You never discriminated when it came to healing your compatriots. You saw them equally; the emperor knew he could trust someone like you.

So, in the end, he chose to spare you.

However, only five people knew about this. The emperor colluded with you and Jungkook. The three of you made it seem like you were dead, that your body was burned into ashes, but the truth was that you were perfectly healthy, just hiding in the mountain to escape the prying eyes of many.

Jungkook chose to stay with you. He gave up his position as a general to live with you in a dilapidated cottage.

It had been eight years now since you two went into seclusion. Hoseok, the new general of Goryeo Army, would go up to the mountain once a month to bring you some necessities.

Hoseok was good at hiding secrets. He trusted you and Jungkook, too, wishing you two could live a peaceful life. Taehyung, another member of the Goryeo Army, also visited your home. He brought herbs and medicinal equipment you could use to formulate pills that could help Goryeo.

No one knew that you were still the reason why the whole country was living a good and healthy life.

You spent your days taking care of your husband and making medicine. You would never give up trying to find a cure for Jungkook's lower body.

Jungkook appreciated it, though he knew you were just wasting your energy. His disability had no cure, just like your broken heart.

"What are you doing?" Your broken heart was filled with guilt.

You flinched when you heard Jungkook's voice from behind. You turned to him at once, but you avoided looking into his eyes as if you were guilty of a crime.

"I..." You trailed off, unable to craft a lie. Your guilty heart couldn't bear to fool the love of your life.

Jungkook stared deeply into your shivering figure. A soft sigh escaped his lips. Deep down, he already knew why you were outside, stubbornly lighting a candle despite the cold weather.

Today was Jimin's death anniversary. Today marked the two thousand nine hundred twentieth day since Jimin defected...since Jungkook suffered from paraplegia...and since your life was ruined.

You were scared because you knew Jungkook hated your brother. You couldn't commemorate his death. You could only light a candle that will never really burn. It was cold outside. The harsh wind reminded you that no, you were not allowed to light a fire for Jimin's cold heart and body.

A traitor like him didn't deserve warmth. His minced body should rot in the cold, polluted river. It was stinky, just like his treacherous body.

But that treacherous body was still a body.

A body that you loved.

A body that you trusted with your whole life.

A body that was causing you immense guilt and sorrow.

For eight years, Jungkook watched you suffer in silence. Your heart was torn into pieces, bleeding for Goryeo, for Jungkook, and for Jimin.

But despite the many broken pieces of your heart, you still didn't allow a piece for yourself. You didn't comfort yourself, bearing the hatred of killing and mourning your twin brother.

You felt like a hypocrite.

It hurt to kill him.

It hurt to mourn him.

Everything hurt.

You were alone. You didn't want to bring Jungkook any more pain.

Jungkook knew this too. For eight years, he let you be, thinking that what you needed was space. He waited for you to heal, waited for you to come to him and cry your heart out.

You never did.

You never would.

He couldn't wait forever.

He pushed his wheelchair towards you.

"Jungkook, it's cold. Let's go back inside—" You reached the handgrip of his wheelchair, but your husband continued to push past you.

You were stunned.

"Jungkook...?" There was a lump in your throat. You watched with a numbing scalp as Jungkook struggled to pick up the matchbox on the ground.

He was set on lighting that lonely stick of candle on the ground.

"Jungkook..." You whispered his name again. You barely made it. Your throat was burning; it felt like someone was squeezing your neck, intending to cut your airflow.

"You should have lit this inside our home." Jungkook managed to light the candle. He turned to you and smiled, "We could use some lights."

It felt like millions of needles were pricking at your heart. These needles were the souls of people who died eight years ago. They had come back to hurt you.

Why would you light a candle for a traitor?

"It's for Jimin-Hyung, right? I could make candles for the dead. Why didn't you ask me?"

Jungkook was the darling of the heavens. He even knew how to make candles for the departed. It was said that burning that kind of candle helped the dead reincarnate sooner.

Jimin had been dead for eight years. No one had ever lit him a candle for the dead. He was cursed. People wished he would never reincarnate.

They wanted him to suffer the deepest part of hell. For almost a decade, you believed that this was what Jungkook wanted too.

Never in your life did you dream this to happen.

"Jungkook..." You choked back a sob. It seemed like the only thing you could do was pathetically call out his name.

Your heart hurt too much.

"It's been eight years." Your husband murmured. You couldn't see his reaction, but through your peripheral vision, you saw him pushing his wheelchair towards you.

He stopped beside you.

Your eyes were focused on the burning candle. You could only rely on its warmth, scared to look at the man beside you, scared to see the frost in his eyes.

But there was no frost in his eyes.

He called your name.

His voice was soft and full of passion.

"Hurting for people who hurt you doesn't make you a hypocrite." It was supposed to comfort you, but his words only made your heart burn, especially when he said, "Let it go."

You hissed at that.

"How could I let it go!"

You felt vindictive, not for yourself, but for your husband. You couldn't avoid his gaze any longer.

You looked at him with eyes full of pain, hatred, and desolation.

"You're like this because of him!"

Eight years and you had never looked at the lower part of his body for more than a minute. You avoided it like the plague. Admittedly, it hurt Jungkook.

Why couldn't you look at him? Were you disgusted? Did you also think he was a useless piece of trash? Did you see him the way he saw himself?

He endured for eight years, but he couldn't hold on any longer. With affliction dancing in his eyes, he asked, "I'm like what?"

He swallowed thickly.

"I'm a cripple? A fool? A piece of trash--"

Jungkook wasn't able to continue voicing out his insecurities. His eyelashes trembled when you suddenly kneeled in front of him. Your action was so abrupt he felt like your knees were bruised.

"Do you really think I see you that way?" Your words carried venom. It poisoned Jungkook's heart. You sounded so broken, so disappointed...

Jungkook was hurting too.

Resentment clouded his mind. "How would I know if you never tell me? I don't know what you're thinking. I'm not a mindreader. Do you love me? Do you want me? Or are you only with me because you feel bad for me?"

You two married but never once consummated your love for each other. There was kissing here and there; however, you stopped yourself from going any further, too scared to touch him there, thinking that it would only remind him of the pain brought by Jimin's treachery.

You thought you were doing him a favor by not acknowledging his disability, but you see, ignoring it was actually much worse. It made him feel that something was wrong with him.

"Eight y-years." His voice wavered. "Eight years, and we still haven't talked properly. How can we let it go when we're not acknowledging it? Why do you insist on suffering alone?"

Tears trickled down his cheek. He suddenly touched your face, urging you to look at him. It was as if he wanted you to see him, the real him.

"Won't you look at me?"

His pain was palpable, causing you to finally look at him. Your stomach was cramped. At this moment, Jungkook indeed looked like the pitiful man those people described.

The rim of his eyes was red; his lips were blue and trembling.

"Jungkook..." Your eyes were moist too. "I'm sorry."

You touched the back of his hand that was caressing your cheek. "I'm so sorry..."

You broke down, reaching the end of your forbearance. You held onto his hand; this was your only support. Your world was collapsing, burning...

Your heart was scorching. You kept gripping and kissing his cold hand; it was as though you were scared he'd lose it too.

"Baby..." Jungkook then called your name, pulling your face and kissing you on the lips.

The fire in your heart only grew wilder. You kissed him back. It had been a while since you did so. Jungkook's broken moan excited and hurt you.

You could feel his tears dripping down your lips. He was crying.

"Sshh, Kook, I'm here. I love you...I want you." You nibbed at his lips down to his neck.

Jungkook kept calling your name; his breathing was ragged.

You were still on your knees, ignoring the coldness seeping into your bones as you lifted the hem of his robe.

Jungkook panicked.

"No! Don't! I...can't..." His face felt hot. Jumgkook was frightened. He longed for this, but not really. He stopped himself from imagining things--thinking that he couldn't get it up.

But you seemed to think otherwise. Sex was something you two frequently did before the accident happened. Jungkook was capable, always so frisky.

You missed the feeling.

Your eyes were burning with passion as you took his shaft on your hand. Jungkook was still so afraid, so he clasped your hand and helped you pump his cock.

You two pumped faster and faster--as if your life depended on it. So many unspoken words were released as you two worked together to build him up.

Pain. Longing. Desire.

Everything was mixed. You felt like you were growing crazier. Tears poured down your eyes.

"You can't?" You laughed--both crazy and broken. Jungkook's dick was finally hard. You pushed his hands away, greedily holding his length.

It's yours. It belonged to you.

"Why are you so hard then, General Jeon? Look, you're slapping me." You chuckled darkly, wantonly rubbing his erected cock on your cheek.

Jungkook's breathing hitched. His eyes were crazed too, and it was burning red. He called your name dangerously.

In your previous entanglements, it was always Jungkook who was teasing you. He would always get on his knees, eating you out. You rarely even touched his cock. Jungkook preferred to be inside of your hot and wet hole. He liked to pound into you like a beast, liked it when you suck him in.

"You're so sweet, General Jeon." You were blinded by heartbreak and lust, licking and sucking his cock.

Jungkook's hands were sweaty. He grabbed your hair, urging you to suck him deeply.

"Ah..." He liked fucking you from behind before, so you didn't see his face most of the time. Such a shame. Who would have thought that he looked like this? Desperate and full of tears.

An even crazier idea popped into your head. His desperation excited you.

"I got you, General Jeon. Let me fuck you this time." You caught his legs, spreading them wide as you let them rest on either side of your shoulder.

Jungkook let out a gasp.

"You..!" His stomach was knotted with mixed emotions. You, on the other hand, licked your lips while staring at his hole.

It clenched involuntarily, driving you even mad.

You lowered your head, tentatively licking his hole at first. "Ngh—!" Jungkook grabbed your hair again. He wasn't sure whether to push you deeper or stop you from licking his hole.

"Jungkook...General Jeon...You are very sensitive here? I didn't know..." You laughed maniacally.

Eight years of repression really messed you up. How could you cry and laugh at the same time?

"Husband...my husband, let me make you feel good." Jungkook's asshole was tight. He cried when you slowly inserted your finger in.

You coaxed him to relax, licking and spitting on his convulsing hole. "Good boy, you're a good boy, General Jeon."

You added another finger. Your husband was dazed; the stimulation was too much for him. It had been so long. He forgot the feeling of pleasure altogether.

You did too. Now that it was unleashed again, you acted like a starved woman, trying new things that would excite you, something that would make your husband feel wanted.

You had abandoned him for far too long.

"Does it feel good, Kook? Do you like it? Do you feel it?"

His response was a moan. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for you. Your heart was itching. You wanted to conquer him whole, and so you grabbed a candle.

You brought three candles to light, but Jungkook caught you earlier, so only one stick was lit.

"It's not enough...I want you." You sucked the candlestick like candy. Jungkook looked at you with desire, his heart hurting so good and so bad.

He wished he could fuck you too, but then this...this foreign feeling was okay too.

You inserted the candlestick in his hole.

Jungkook was always quiet in bed. He didn't like dirty talks. He would just pound into you so hard, kissing and nibbling at your lips until it bled. His pants and ragged breathing were loud, though.

"I wanna make you feel whole too, Kook," this was a feeling you knew very well. The feeling of being stuffed by his cock in the past made you feel complete.

"There's nothing wrong with you. I love you...I love you so much." You roughly thrust the candlestick inside of him. Jungkook's fingers curled.

It felt good. Too good.

He wanted to say something, but his throat felt choked. He was immersed with the pleasure too.

He could only moan.

This was enough. You could talk later. For now, it's all about his pleasure. You used your other hand to pump his cock.

"Ah...Ah..." The wind blew, but Jungkook felt hot. The tingling sensation on his scalp made him sweat.

"Let it go, Jungkook." You coaxed him just like how he coaxed you earlier. He didn't complain, though, didn't lash out. With a few more strokes, he finally came.

Sticky cum sputtered on his exposed stomach. His robe was pushed to the side.

"Wife," Jungkook called you weakly. You didn't look at him as you were busy licking the cum off of his stomach.

"Wife..." Jungkook mumbled. He liked calling you wife. It's proof that you were his too. He whispered that same word a few more times while you licked his stomach clean. It was only after that did you finally looked at him.

"Yes, husband?"

Your smile was dazzling. Jungkook's heart throbbed painfully in his chest. How could he doubt your love for him? You...you didn't hesitate to stab your twin brother for his sake.

You carried that guilt for eight years.

Jungkook choked back a sob.

"Nothing," he cupped your face. "It's just that...I love you...I love you with all of me." I'm sorry you had to suffer too. I'm sorry your heart was torn for your brother and me.

I'm sorry you had to choose between the two of us.

I'm sorry you had to save me.

"I love you too, Jungkook." You slowly stood up. Your knees hurt, but you ignored it, opting to focus on fixing your husband's ruined clothes.

He must have felt cold.

But on the contrary, he felt warm. Eight years after, he finally felt his heart burn. As usual, you were the one who ignited the fire in him.

"Let's go inside?" You asked, yet didn't wait for his answer. You held tightly on the handgrip of his wheelchair, pushing it.

You hummed a familiar song as you took the way to your cottage.

"The night is dark and cold, but with the fire inside of me, I will walk you home. ~"