My Online Diary

Kase ang laki-laki ng nasira naming dal'wa. Hinding hindi ko matatanggap pag nalaman kong laro lang ang lahat ng ito. Hinding hindi ko matatanggap kung hanggang pakilig lang ang lahat ng iyon. Hinding hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko pag nalaman kong nahulog lamang ako sa isang mapaglarong damdamin.

Alam ko sa simula pa lang, wala itong patutunguhan, pero sinugal ko ang oras ko. Sinugal ko ang panahon na magkasama kami, pati puso ko at damdamin ay nakataya, pati na rin ang apat na taon kong kasintahan.

Hinding hindi ko matatanggap, at mapapatawad ang sarili kong nalaman kong laro lang ang lahat ng dala niya sa mga panahong iyon. 😞

Chocolate moist cake, Crunch chocolate, Gatorade, Gummy bears, Mossimo watch, and a happy birthday letter. All on the 4th of December at 12:30am.

I went to there house all alone, I have noone beside me, and I think that is more romantic. It supposed to be left just right the gate, and hide. Wrote letters that could risk the relatio ship, however I decided not to do it, because I love him. And I want him to stay. I want him in my life.

He was surprised why the letter only said, "Happy birthday baby! I love you!", because on the lighter side, I cannot say anything to him at all.. Might be rejected, and not anymore believe those because of the trust I ruined. I dont deserve to say those lovely sweet words to him because I fail him. I hurt him. I disappoint him. Im just not comfortable anymore with those words. He is so precious and I am not. He deserve more, but I do not deserve him.

I dont know how to start this but I want you to know that I am very grateful for the time that we're together. For those times spent were the best days of my life. I am very lucky to have a man like you. You. are. every. lady's. dream.

Baby, thank you for all the forgiveness you had given me, all the love, respect, attention, care, admiration, and even trust. There were trillion times that I made you upset, bit still you chose to understand me, you chose to forgive me.

Thank you for making an effort to stay with me my baby, those moments are not worthy of a diamond because its more than that. The time spent with you is irrepleacable. You are a forever-kind of man, but unfortunately I am not.

I am so sorry for ALLLL the things I did wrong, for hurting you, for shouting and saying bad words through text and personally. I am sorry for disappointing you. I was so wrong. I made a choice that risked my life with you. I dont wanna tell more things in here. All I could say is that, im trully sorry, amd I hope one day, your heart could forgive me.

I hope one day, if we meet again, all the love will come flowing again, with sparkle in your eyes, arms and hands wanting to reach me. I hope one day, when we meet again, you can still be mine, and I can be yours.

I wont stop loving you baby, I will still hold on to us. But I know we cant be together for now, because of such circumstances. It will be very hard for us if we continue. We might just torture ourselves.

I will just be around baby. But if you cant find me, just look up at the moon above at night, you could tell me anything through it. And my heart, hopefully can hear it.