Hawaii Five-0 & Rookie Blue Lover

- danny is a pre-law student who wants to go into criminal law and when you first meet him you think he’s intimidating af but he’s actually a walnut who knows Every Single vine ever and annoyingly does all of those stupid tik tok trendy dances but he makes tea whenever he sees his friends are pulling all-nighters because he’s up every night studying anyway. and he’s infamous on campus for making insanely good weed brownies and wears over-sized sweatshirts when he studies even though people tease him for how small they make him look. 

- steve mostly keeps to himself but has a close friendship with junior, who he met in a statistics class. he binge watches parks and recreation and unironically drinks seven cups of coffee a day but would eat seven burgers if he had the money. he doesn’t realize how much attention he attracts at first, but people quickly realize that he’s quiet and rather reserved, and will fluster and fumble if you try to flirt with him, and it doesn’t End Well.

- steve meets danny during junior sophomore year in a boring class they’re both required to take but he doesn’t actually become friends with him until there’s a big frat party and steve loses junior for a hot minute and he’s super worried because junior is drunk and then twenty minutes later he finds junior on a couch and danny is taking care of him and giving him water and in the end, danny insists on going with steve to make sure that junior gets home okay and they strike a conversation and end up talking about everything and nothing on the steps of junior’s dorm building. danny makes fun of steve for being quiet and serious but steve secretly enjoys it, even when danny teases him for being a marine biology major.

- the two of them become friends, texting each other when they’re not together (danny sends steve vines because he is Seriously Uneducated) and steve tolerates danny being a feral idiot who is way too loud for public spaces and danny loves making steve blush and it’s rather beautiful how quickly they fall for each other but they both think the other doesn’t feel the same way, of course.

- kono, who is danny’s friend from high school, lives with chin off campus. she studies chemistry and physics (double major, because shes awesome) and chin studies criminal justice with a minor in classics and they’re danny’s best friends but they get along with steve right away.

- junior introduces tani to the group and tani and kono hit it off, and then they have this whole squad.

- late night study sessions, lunches at iHop (its the only place within walking distance of steve’s dorm and they’re all lazy around exams, Sue Them), kono and junior and steve work-out together at the school gym, the whole group forcing themselves to listen to chin’s excited rants about some gay greek shit, danny’s baking skills are used extensively particularly for cannibas-related reasons.

- in the summer danny and steve both stay on campus for summer classes and they’re now dorming together and steve is watching danny mix cookie dough and sing coldplay songs ironically and he just marches up to him and kisses him because he is so in love with this smol blond asshole who turned his college years into something that he’ll never forget.

- it turns out that literally their whole squad of friends had a bet pool on who would make the first move between danny and steve and junior and kono win because they know steve is actually a Chaotic Bastard when he wants to be.

- kono/tani and danny/steve double dates but theyre all broke college students so they go to a diner and get the lunch specials but then they get bored without the rest of the group and they text in the group chat, and the rest of the squad storms the diner and take over. every time. every date. it’s kinda sad, really.

- steve graduates a year before danny but is doing grad school and working with a professor on-campus a few times a week so he rents an apartment and danny doesn’t even officially move in, he just dumps his clothes at steve’s place and neither of them talk about it. 

- chin meets malia in his required art history class and he immediately asks her on a date and they become an aesthetic couple on instagram, to no one’s surprise because they’re beautiful together. danny makes fun of them, mostly because he can’t take a selfie for shit. he runs a meme account instead. steve makes a finsta that danny doesn’t know about and follows the meme account even though danny think he’s sly about it. steve cries from laughter at the captions for each post, which is usually subjected around steve being a “dumb, hot idiot.” danny figures out it’s him a year later.

- tani and kono move in together literally before danny and steve get together because they’re gay, Brenda. they already have adopted a dog and even sent out a Christmas card together, with the dog, because once again, they’re lesbians, Harold.

- junior flies solo all of college and eventually ends up rooming with chin, focusing on his math major and he’s the One Friend in the group who always is juggling three jobs and an internship and still has hobbies and friends. 

- kono and tani get married literally straight out of college. no explanation needed.

1. Graduated from college with a minor in business 2. Posed for a charity calendar 3. Solved 87 homicide cases during his time in Newark 4. Worked a Russian mob case 5. Testified in court against his corrupt partner, Rick Peterson 6. Took out the drug dealers who killed his partner (Grace) by thinking quickly and breaking free of his restraints 7. Gave up his life in New Jersey to follow Grace to Hawaii 8. Endured workplace bullying during his initial time at HPD 9. Helped Adam Charles a.k.a. Toast get leniency from his petty crimes and brought him on as valuable C.I. 10. Made the connection between Hesse and Doran before Steve took over his father’s case 11. Believed in Meka’s innocence when no one else did 12. Solved Meka’s murder and uncovered a mole in HPD 13. Continued to work in the field with a torn ACL 14. Saved Grace from Rick Peterson 15. If you count the air quotes, was the first to say “I love you” to Steve 16. Adopted the orphaned dog of a murder victim 17. Saved Steve from North Korea 18. Helped Rachel deliver Charlie while not knowing it was his son 19. Took photos of Charlie for Stan 20. Learned to surf even though he’s not fond of the ocean 21. Ran Five-0 when Steve took off with no warning except a letter 22. Helped Max exonerate an innocent man and solve the mystery of his mother’s murder 23. Along with his team and NCIS, helped stop an outbreak of smallpox that could have killed millions of people 24. Chased down a terrorist who had a bomb strapped to his chest 25. Stayed with Chin when he had a bomb strapped to his neck 26. Kept the Aloha girls safe and calm when they were locked up in a bunker 27. With help from the Aloha girls leader, found and saved Steve and Lucy 28. Took in his wayward nephew, called him out on his behavior and got him a job working in the lab 29. Gave up Pro Bowl tickets to go with Steve to the hospital for treatment 30. Traveled with Grace to Japan to return a puzzle box to the family member of a deceased girl 31. Opened up to Steve about his anxiety issues 32. Helped his parents reconcile when they were having problems and on the verge of divorce 33. Traveled to Afghanistan to make sure Steve is found and rescued 34. Figured out where his brother hid the money he’d stolen from Marco Reyes 35. Bought Steve a guitar and encouraged him to play again 36. Went to a Columbian prison in order to protect Grace and Steve 37. Competed in the tough mudder race despite not wanting to (and also probably still dealing with the revelation that he has a son and his ex lied to him) 38. Recovered his stolen car (with help) and took out the criminals 39. Landed a plane on the beach in order to give an injured Steve the best chance of surviving 40. Gave Steve half of his fucking liver 41. Took out half the terrorists at Grace’s Winter Formal on his own (at one point crawling through a duct and dealing with claustrophobia in order to do so) 42. Confronted his sister about her almost affair with her co-worker 43. Goes with the team to Mexico to help Chin save his niece 44. Actively tries to help Stan and Rachel with their marriage problems 45. Consoled Adam after his divorce from Kono

Snoopy Cookies

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

How to Escape a Hair Grab or a Neck Grab ? Look at them, carefully.

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*hugs*

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This is actual, real life dialog. I PROMISE!

Danny, to Steve: “Well don’t just stand there and be handsome. Say something.”

Danny, to Steve: “Wow, look at you. You clean up nice, babe.”

Steve, to Danny: “I love you.” Danny: “I love you, too.” (They actually exchange I Love Yous all the frickin’ time, but I’m including this one from 7x01 because of the way Steve says it. It’s like he thinks their mutual love is the solution to the problem they’re fighting about.)

Kono, later in that same episode, to the team, about Steve & Danny, in a singsong voice: “Aw. They in love again.”

Danny, to Steve: “You’re a half-baked cookie. Soft. Gooey in the middle…. That’s why I love you, babe.”

Danny, to Steve: “You’re like a big marshmallow filled with testosterone.” (Honestly, I think there must be even more quotes of Danny comparing Steve to sweet food that he wants to eat, but I can’t find them right now. Let’s just say this is A THING.)

Danny, to Steve: “You are a whacked out control freak, but I love you.”

Steve, to Danny, after a counselor suggested that Danny was causing Steve too much stress with all his worry about Steve’s health: “Don’t change. I love you, man, the way you are.”

Danny, on the phone to Steve: “You, um, you miss me, don’t you?” Steve: “Oh yeah, I wish you were here, but you don’t swim.” Danny, bickering: “I don’t swim? I swim. Very well, actually. I just choose not to.” Steve, bickering: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Eavesdropper, to Steve: “You talking to your wife?” Steve: “I’m talking to my partner.” (Nevermind that this just makes the dude think you’re gay, Steve, NOT that you’re talking to your work partner.)

Joe, after Danny tries to bicker with him while Steve is absent: “Is this what you and Steve do? Bicker like an old married couple?”

Prisoners in a prison yard, after seeing Danny & Steve bickering: “How long you two been married?”

A new co-worker, after seeing Danny & Steve bickering: “How long have you two been married?” (This seems to be a running theme.)

(In fact, they even call themselves married!) Danny, to Steve, “Because our marriage has become predictable.”

And later, Steve asks Danny, after Danny doesn’t understand why his making retirement plans (which at this point don’t include Steve) should hurt Steve’s feelings: “Okay, let me ask you a question. If you were still married to Rachel, and you made a decision like this, a big decision that affected her, how would she feel if you didn’t tell her about it?” Danny: “Are you comparing my failed marriage to our relationship?” Steve: “Are you gonna answer the question?” Danny: “She’d be upset.” Steve, as if Danny’s just totally made Steve’s point (because they’re married, too, right?): “Thank you.”

Steve, smiling to Danny, while Danny’s holding up a thong: “You gonna get an evidence bag or are you gonna put that thing on?“ (Jesus Christ, this is some serious FLIRTING.)

Danny, standing between Steve’s spread open legs in a doctor’s office, staring at his shirtless chest: “Now, if you would please do me this one favor.” Steve: “No, I will not bend over and cough, with your cold hands.” Danny: “It’s not that kind of favor.” (Yes, they are really flirting here, as there is literally no other interpretation of these words.)

Steve, on the phone to a very frustrated Danny who doesn’t like that Steve can’t answer any of his questions because they’re all classified: “It’s protocol Danny. I’m sorry but I can’t answer your questions right now, I gotta go alright?” Danny, challenging the notion that it’s all classified: “Well I got an easy one: What are you wearing?” Steve: (stops mid-stride and smiles, opens his mouth to talk but closes it) Danny: “You know what? Don’t answer it. I’m sure it’s top secret so I will take a guess. (pauses) Cargo pants!” Steve: (who of course is wearing cargo pants, smiles even bigger) “Goodbye Daniel.” (Is it just me, or was Steve totally thinking that Danny was coming on to him there for a second?)

Danny, to Steve, proving he’s not remotely disturbed by people assuming he’s gay: “I personally would have gone with the gay thing to keep our cover.”

Steve, holding out his hand to Danny when he realizes Danny’s claustrophobia is kicking in: “Here. You can hold my hand.”

Danny, to Steve, after Danny flew all the way to Afghanistan to make sure Steve was rescued: “What are you looking at me like that for?” Steve: “I can’t believe you flew all this way.”

Earlier, when the military brass came in and wanted Danny to leave Steve’s bedside: “Hear me? You’re gonna need to step outside.” Danny: “No, no, no. I’m gonna stay right here with him.” Military Brass: “Excuse me?” Danny: “I’m not a soldier; you don’t have any authority over me. So I’m gonna stay put.” 

Danny, to Chin, about what Steve’s body language means: “And he just switched the phone from his right hand to his left hand, which means he wants to punch something.” Chin: “Well, you know your boy well.”

Danny, to Steve, upon seeing him in his dress uniform: “Wow. You, uh, you look, uh, very nice. Suit, tie, it’s good.” Steve: “It’s for you. I wore it for you.”

Steve, to Danny: “What’s up, good-looking?”

Steve, to Danny, after getting a giant hug from Danny’s daughter after rescuing them both from a hostage situation: “What? Nothing? No hug? Nothing?” Danny: “I am so happy to see you right now I’ll give you a hug, I’ll give you a kiss, pick a base.” (I’m not the only one who thinks Steve picked the wrong base in response to this, am I?)

Harry, to Steve and Danny after witnessing their bickering: “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s clearly coming from a place of love. That’s why you’re going into the restaurant trade together. Can’t bear to be apart, right?”

Steve, to Danny, about a couple that’s breaking up: “Hey, what about therapy? They try therapy? It worked for us.” Danny: “I don’t know, it seemed pretty definitive. He’s the one who wants the divorce, not her.” Eavesdropper: “Did you just say us?” Steve, to Danny, ignoring the eavesdropper: “You know what you need to do? You need to call Stan. Man to man, talk to him. See if you can convince him to give it another shot.” Eavesdropper, tired of them ignoring his VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION:  “Wait a second, you two lovebirds have a therapist?” Danny: “Yeah, we got a therapist.”